Will the Last Puppy to Leave the Planet Please Shut Off the Sun? 5/14

aka The Puppy Who Sold the Moon

The field for today’s royal rumble includes John C. Wright, Eric Flint, Vox Day, Tom Knighton, Spacefaring Kitten, Wayne Borean, Lis Carey, Lisa J. Goldstein, T.C. McCarthy, Kevin Standlee, Alexandra Erin, Thomas A. Mays, Brandon Kempner, Rick Moen, Peace Is My Middle Name, Bruce Baugh and Damien G. Walter. (Title credit to File 770 contributing editors of the day Whym and Rev. Bob.)

John C. Wright

”Suggested Reading for Sad Puppy Backstory” – May 14

Some of you came in to this theater late, and did not catch the first act.

For those of you puzzled or dazed or disgusted with the goings-on, allow me to provide a partial (and admittedly partial) list of the backstory on Puppy Related Sadness.

From Larry Correia you can get links to his original announcements of Sad Puppies 1,2,and 3. Allow me, at the risk of seeming egomaniacal, of listing only my own contributions to the movement and the columns leading up to it.

[Post includes around a dozen selected links.]

 

Eric Flint

“And Again On The Hugo Awards” – May 14

[Again, just a small excerpt of a long and wide-ranging post.]

I think one side in this dispute is wrong—that’s the side championed by Brad and Larry. I think that, not because I think the Hugo awards don’t have a lot of problems—I do, and I explained those at length in my first essay—but because their analysis of the problem is so wrong as to be downright wrong-headed. But I don’t think they pose a mortal threat to social justice, western civilization, science fiction or even the Hugo awards themselves.

 Why did they launch this brawl and keep pursuing it? Well, I’ve always been a devotee of Napoleon’s dictum: “Never ascribe to malevolence what can be adequately explained by incompetence.” I don’t think there was anything involved except that, driven by the modern American right’s culture of victimization—they are always being persecuted; there’s a war on white men, a war on Christmas (no, worse! a war on Christians themselves!), blah blah blah—they jumped to the conclusion that the reason authors they like weren’t getting Hugo awards or even nominations was because of the Great Leftwing Conspiracy against the righteous led by unnamed Social Justice Warriors—presumably being shuttled around the country in their nefarious plots in black helicopters—and off they went.

If they’d simply said: “We think the Hugos have gotten too skewed against popular authors in favor of literary authors,” there’d have still been a pretty ferocious argument but it never would have reached this level of vituperation.

 But simply stating a problem wasn’t good enough for them. No, following the standard modern right-wing playbook, SOMEBODY MUST BE TO BLAME.

 Enter… the wicked SJWs! (Whoever the hell they are. They’re to blame, dammit.)

 

Vox Day at Vox Popoli

“Islands in a sea of rhetoric” – May 14

I stopped commenting at File 770 as it proved to be another exercise in demonstrating the truth of Aristotle’s dictum about those who cannot be instructed. Give them dialectic and they shamelessly attempt to pick it apart, some honestly, most dishonestly, while constantly declaring that any errors or falsehoods on their part are irrelevant. Give them rhetoric to meet them at their level and they either cry about it or concoct pseudo-dialectic to explain why it’s not valid.

VD: SJWs always lie. SJW: I told the truth once back in 2007. See, you’re totally wrong. Your whole argument is disproved. You are a bad person. DISQUALIFIED!

But the ongoing Hugo coverage still makes for interesting reading, particularly as the few remaining commenters possessing intellectual integrity one-by-one throw up their hands and stop trying to force the relevant facts through the SJW’s cast-iron skulls. A pair of neutrals recounted typical experiences, as one of them juxstaposed his treatment at various Puppy sites versus SF-SJW Central:

 

Tom Knighton

“One problem with the Hugos that will never be solved?” – May 14

I’m sorry, but less than 50 votes got nominations on the ballot?  With such low numbers getting a work nominated, you can tell that there just aren’t that many people nominating.  This puts the fate of the Hugos in the hands of a few, which makes it possible for small groups to have a disproportional impact on the overall Hugos.  Let’s be honest, it’s why Sad Puppies and Rabid Puppies were so effective.  Put those exact same groups into a pool of millions, and you’d never notice their impact.

However, back to the subject at hand, you have a handful of people who are essentially deciding who gets nominated for the Hugos, and if they don’t read something, it’s not getting nominated.  What if that handful hasn’t read the Best Book Ever Written yet?  Well, guess who isn’t getting a Hugo nomination?

That’s what almost happened with Three Body Problem this year.  The Puppies just hadn’t read it yet, so it didn’t make either slate.  It’s probably happened a dozen times previously, it’s just that this time there’s far more scrutiny being paid to the process.

 

Spacefaring Kitten on Spacefaring, Extradimensional Happy Kittens

“Disagreeing With Brad” – May 14

Because I so thoroughly disagree with Sad Puppy advocates, I’ve been thinking about doing a fisking of some essential Puppy advocate post. Fisking is a thing Larry Correia does sometimes in his blog, and as far as I’ve been able to decipher, what it means is a mean-spirited rebuttal of everything somebody else has written elseweb, line by line. Generally, it seems to involve a great deal of calling other people morons and idiots, but I’ll try to do it without the nasty parts, because I have no desire to be nasty.

An opportunity presented itself when Brad R. Torgersen published a blog post earlier today. In it, he says a lot of things that I don’t agree on. That let’s us, well, disagree.

 

Wayne Borean on Zauberspiegel International

“Hugo Gernsback Still Causing Controversy” – May 15

The Hugo Awards have lost their relevance. You might argue with me about the date I picked (1985), or my view of the Hugos, but you cannot argue with me about the demographics of fandom. We are a bunch of grey haired old folks, and the younger generation isn’t rushing to sit at our feet in awe for some reason.

To fix the problem we have to expand the Hugo Awards, and encourage younger people to get involved.

Yes, I am aware that I’m probably going to really annoy a lot of people by saying this, but we brought this on ourselves. We’ve been too self centered, for far too long.

 

Lis Carey on Lis Carey’s Library

“The Day the World Turned Upside Down, by Thomas Olde Heuvelt (author), Lia Velt (translator)” – May 14

The story is competently written, but it’s the worst sort of “literary” fictions: Nothing needs to make any sense, and the protagonist is not someone I’m inclined to care about at all, for good or ill. I don’t care what happens to him.

 

Adult Onset Atheist

“SNARL: Totaled” – May 14

I liked this story. I am not using “liked” as a euphemism for “reading this did not make me sick”. This story is a worthy Hugo nominee; the first story that has earned that description from amongst what I have so far read of this year nominees. Before I get into what is right with this story I should point out the a couple issues. This story is told through the juxtaposition of communications, but is recalled in near real time to the reader who does not exist in the story. The reader must carefully examine the types of communication; where it originates, how it is read, how the information is stored, even what type of images are implied by the mechanism of communication. However, when it comes to the story itself the reader is expected to unquestioningly act as an omnipotent recording device.

 

Lisa J. Goldstein on theinferior4

“The Hugo Ballot, Part 9: Novelettes” – May 14

[“Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust, Earth to Alluvium” by Gray Rinehart] is so slight, in fact, it could have been about half its size.  The first section, where Keller asks a Peshari artist to make him a tombstone and the artist refuses, might have been cut, and there are other unnecessary parts as well.  (The section gives us some important information about Keller and the Peshari, but that information could be presented in other ways.)  I actually like the idea of studying an enemy’s myths in order to defeat them, but I don’t think the story manages to use it to full advantage.

 

 

Kevin Standlee on Fandom Is My Way of Life

“Fandom Is A Pot-Luck Dinner” – May 13

My metaphor is that Fandom is a Pot-Luck Dinner. We have lots of acquaintances, we all like to eat, and we decide to hold a big pot-luck dinner where we can share our favorite dishes and socialize. We have so many friends and friends-of-friends that none of us owns a barn big enough to hold everyone, so we have to rent the community center. None of us is wealthy enough to do that on our own, so we ask everyone coming to not only bring a dish, but also to kick in part of the cost of renting the hall, plus the tables, chairs, etc. We’re not running a restaurant, and we’re not making a profit, just covering the cost of putting on the event. Some of us volunteer to schlep tables and chairs, others volunteer to wash dishes, and so forth. Everyone brings something. That means some of the food is stuff I personally like, and other stuff I hate. But that’s okay: I eat what I like, and leave the rest for those who like green bean casserole.

Somewhere along the way, we got the idea of voting among ourselves for what the best dishes were. (“Best Appetizer,” “Best Main Course,” “Best Dessert”) And we started holding this big pot-luck in different places so as to share the fun with our far-away friends who couldn’t necessarily make the trip to Our Fair City.

Well, now we’ve got people who started coming to the pot-luck, paying the share of the hall rental, and are angry that we’ve been choosing things they personally hate to eat, and have decided that they want to knock over all of the tables with food they dislike and insist that the rest of us eat that stuff that they personally like, because they say so. It should not be a surprise to them that the rest of us start saying, “I don’t think we want to invite you anymore; you’re making the rest of us very uncomfortable by your anti-social behavior.” They respond with variations of, “I paid my cover charge to your restaurant, and you’re responsible for feeding me things that I like, and to not serve food I don’t like!” and they don’t understand why that response alternately baffles or infuriates the rest of us.

 

Alexandra Erin on Blue Author Is About To Write

“The Barker and the Big Tent” – May 14

A pair of burly roustabouts flanked each of the gates. As Jake watched, a couple of people were roughly turned away from one. The bouncers’ faces were murderous, while the people they sent packing just looked scared. All the lines got shorter as people saw this and left in apparent disgust or, in some cases, fear.

“Well, lad, that’s where we let everyone in,” the barker said, then repeated, “Everyone is welcome in the Big Tent.” He cupped his hands over his mouth and shouted, “Come one, come all, to the Big Tent! If you believe that any show is a good show as long as it’s entertaining, this is the place for you!”

“So, who were those people, then?” Jake asked.

“Gatekeepers,” the barker said.

“No, I mean the people your gatekeepers turned away.”

Our gatekeepers?” the barker said. He let out a loud, raucous laugh, slapping his knee. “We don’t have gatekeepers, son! This is the Big Tent you’re talking about, and everyone’s welcome in the Big Tent! No, those nice gentlemen are there to keep the gatekeepers out.

 

Thomas A. Mays in a comment on File 770 – May 14

Just a point of order here. I am not “one of the gentlemen on the other side” as Chris Gerrib put it. I have no dog in this hunt. Chris has admitted that he originally had me confused with James May when he called me one of the louder voices on Brad Torgerson’s blog, but it brought him to my book, A Sword Into Darkness. Yeah, a sale!. I’m glad he enjoyed it somewhat, and as it was intended as an homage to some of the mil and hard SF I grew up with, I do understand his charge that it may seem “recycled” or “trope-ish” (though I and my fans don’t necessarily agree). What I don’t understand is why he keeps copying, spreading, or reposting this review around with the misleading intro. It’s a free ‘Net, so he can do as he pleases, but it seems to suggest he has more ideological axes to grind than I do. For the record, I’m a middle of the road guy and a newbie to this industry. I can see and appreciate both perspectives, but believe the rhetoric and vitriol folks keep injecting into the “discussion” may be actively preventing a fair resolution to the issues at hand rather than expediting that resolution. I myself would have loved to have gotten the recognition of being selected for a non-ideological Puppy slate before it all blew up. Now? I get how the anti-puppies feel about the recommendation slate perhaps skewing results, though I’m reserving judgment on whether or not it was bloc voting until after the ballots are revealed. I will not have any part of the No Award movement though, and I’m about halfway through my reading list. I’m looking forward to the Hugos, and I’m looking forward to seeing how Sad Puppies 4 responds to the criticisms of SP3. For all those who wanna check out my non-nominated, but much referred to novel A Sword Into Darkness, it’s for sale now on Amazon and Smashwords. Take care, Tom Mays

 

Brandon Kempner on Chaos Horizon

“Hugo Award Nomination Ranges, 2006-2015, Part 4” – May 13

Maybe we don’t want to know how the sausage is made. The community is currently placing an enormous amount of weight on the Hugo ballot, but does it deserve such weight? One obvious “fix” is to bring far more voters into the process—lower the supporting membership cost, invite other cons to participate in the Hugo (if you invited some international cons, it could actually be a “World” process every year), add a long-list stage (first round selects 15 works, the next round reduces those 5, then the winner), etc. All of these are difficult to implement, and they would change the nature of the award (more voters = more mainstream/populist choices). Alternatively, you can restrict voting at the nominating stage to make it harder to “game,” either by limiting the number of nominees per ballot or through a more complex voting proposals.

 

Rick Moen in a comment on File 770 – May 13

Con Chair: What happen?
SMOF: Somebody set up us the tail.
Operator: We get spoor.
Con Chair: What!
SMOFr: Main piddle turn on.
Con Chair: It’s You!!
Dogs: How are you, fandom!! All your Hugo are belong to us. You are on the way to SJWdom.
Con Chair: What you say!!
Dogs: You have no chance to nominate make your time. Ha Ha Ha Ha ….
SMOF: Con Chair!!
Con Chair: Take off every “Noah”!! You know what you doing. Move “Noah”. For great justice.

 

Peace Is My Middle Name in a comment on File 770 – May 13

It was a dark and stormy mutt; the rage fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of whinge which swept up the streets (for it is in Spokane that our scene lies), rattling along the hotel-ballrooms, and fiercely agitating the skiffy flames of the fans that struggled against the darkness.

 

Bruce Baugh in a comment on File 770 – May 13

Toward the end of a stormy summer afternoon, with the sun finally breaking out under ragged black rain clouds, Castle Worldcon was overwhelmed and its population destroyed.

Until almost the last moment the factions among the fans were squabbling as to how Destiny properly should be met. The SMOFs of most prestige and account elected to ignore the en­tire undignified circumstance and went about their normal pursuits, with neither more nor less punctilio than usual. A few CHORFs, des­perate to the point of hysteria, took up weapons and prepared to resist the final assault. Others still, perhaps a quarter of the total population, waited passively, ready—almost happy—to expiate the sins of fandom.

In the end death came uniformly to all; and all extracted as much satisfaction in their dying as this essentially graceless process could afford. The letter hacks sat turning the pages of their beautiful zines, or discussing the qualities of a century-old essence, or fondling a fa­vorite Powers cover. They died without deigning to heed the fact. The hot-heads raced up the muddy slope which, outraging all normal rationality, loomed above the parapets of Worldcon. Most were buried under sliding rubble, but a few gained the ridge to blog, hack, tweet, until they themselves were shot, crushed by the half-alive power-wagons, hacked or stabbed. The contrite waited in the classic pos­ture of gafiation, on their knees, heads bowed, and perished, so they believed, by a process in which the Puppies were symbols and fannish sin the reality. In the end all were dead: letterhacks, actifen, faans in the lounges; dealers in the dealer rooms. Of all those who had inhabited Worldcon, only the media fans survived, creatures awkward, gauche and raucous, oblivious to pride and faith, more concerned with the wholeness of their hides than the dignity of their con.

 

Rick Moen in a comment on File 770 – May 13

No one would have believed in the first years of the twenty-first century that the SFF world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences stranger than fen’s and yet as demented as his own; that as fen busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinised and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a fan with a mimeograph machine might Letter of Comment about the transient mundanes that swarm and wander in a convention hotel lobby. With infinite complacency fen went to and fro over this globe about their little affairs, serene in their assurance of their empire over genre. It is possible that the mundanes in the convention hotel do the same … Yet, across the gulf of the Internet, minds that are like unto our canines, intellects energetic and cool and unsympathetic, regarded this fandom with envious eyes, and slowly and surely drew their plans against us. — Not Entirely H.G. Wells, Either

488 thoughts on “Will the Last Puppy to Leave the Planet Please Shut Off the Sun? 5/14

  1. Has anyone done “Imagine there’s no Hugo”?

    I got as far as that line then:

    “Imagine all the Puppies
    Living for today!”

    Darn that stuff in the middle.

  2. @Ultragotha
    This is Just to Say

    We have nominated
    The stories
    That were on
    The ballot

    And which
    You were probably
    Hoping
    For better stories

    Forgive us
    Revenge is delicious
    So sweet
    And so cold

    Excellent! +1

  3. The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words.
    –Philip K. Dick, How To Build A Universe That Doesn’t Fall Apart Two Days Later (1978)

    I’m really enjoying being both a Puppy AND an SJW. It’s the best of all possible worlds.

  4. Pup, be not proud, though some have call’ed thee
    Rabid and mournful, for thou art not so;
    For those whom thou think’st thou dost promote
    Win not, Noah Ward, nor yet canst thou slate me.

  5. “Your puppy, your responsibility.”

    –After some street signs common here in my corner of the UK.

  6. Alexandra, if you were capable of arithmetic, you cold simply take JJ’s figures, divide those by the total years since publication, and get the averages. Since you don’t comprehend that 122000 and 32000 are greater than 10000, however, there isn’t much chance of you getting that far.

    It is kind of cute to see you attempt condescension out of innumeracy, though. Haven’t seen that one in a while.

  7. “A puppy is for life, not just for Worldcon”

    – after the Dog’s Trust slogan on my own dog’s collar

  8. xdpaul, I never once demonstrated that I don’t know which number is bigger. That is an outright lie. But you’re really divebombing back in here to bring up averages again as if you think it proves something? The differences in circumstance have been explained to you several times, by more people than myself.

    I’m not innumerate, xdpaul. I simply know that comparing arbitrary numbers (and deciding to use the yearly average in this situation is an arbitrary decision) in disparate situations does not yield any actual information about anything.

    Why don’t you?

    Your argument consists of “10 is bigger than 2, therefore Vox Day is the king of Pluto.”

    You’re right. 10 is bigger than 2. Gold star for simple arithmetic, but F minus minus for connecting the number to reality.

    Now do pause your display of elementary mathematics long enough come up with an argument that takes into account the full reality of the situation, to wit:

    The numbers being compared (partial hardcover sales versus total print sales) aren’t the same set of data.
    Neither set of data takes into account e-book sales or audiobook sales, categories that are a bigger part of the market every year and that we know to have been especially high for Lock In.
    The expectations for a standalone book (or book one of a potential series) are different than the expectations for a long-running series with an established fanbase.
    The publisher is evidently pleased enough with Lock In’s full figures (which neither you nor I have) in all formats so far to have scheduled releases in others, including large print and a mass market run.

    Can you address those facts, xdpaul?

    Or are you just going to keep repeating elementary mathematical operations that are so obvious no one else even feels the need to point them out, and assuming this means you’re the only one skilled enough to do them?

  9. “I am Vox Day’s Puppy. Whose Puppy are You?”

    –After an apparently popular historical dog collar.

  10. Man, you elitist SJWs just can’t stop with the high-falutin’ classical POE-IT-REE, can you? What we need here is the verse of the masses, like we used to have!

    There once was a nitwit named Beale.
    The Hugos he thought he could steal.
    But despite his plans sordid
    He’ll get NO-AWARD’ed.
    And Teddy will just have to deal.

  11. Probably Pope, personalized for a very particular owner:

    “I am his Highness dog at Kew:
    Pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you?”

  12. Which I’ve just learned is from Pope (of course):

    “I am his Highness’ dog at Kew;
    Pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you?”

    So I’m amending to:

    “I am his Voxness’ dog at Kew;
    Pray tell me, SJW, whose dog are you?”

  13. @james It’s so interesting–since I first saw that collar come up, I have come across it in all kinds of weird places. I wonder if Pope invented it or just used it.

  14. So based on your maths, Scalzi’s Old Man’s War has sold 12,200 every year, consistently since its release. Wildly inaccurate given how much sales can fluctuate based on any number of factors, but this is your math so your rules.

    Lock In has sold 10,000 (or thereabouts according to what’s in this thread). So apparently Lock In has been out 8 months, so we’d need to divide by 8 to get sales per month: 1,250. Using these wildly inaccurate numbers you have suggested, we now need to add 4*1,250 to his current number of sales: that’s 5,000. 10,000 + 5,000 is 15,000. So based on YOUR OWN MATHS, Lock In will outsell Old Man’s War in its first year.

    Would any mathematicians like to double check my working? Just want to make sure I have this right.

  15. Dangit. Comixology is having a Star Trek crossovers sale, and it doesn’t even have my favorite Star Trek crossover comic Star Trek/X-Men.

  16. @May Tree +1

    “Outside of a puppy, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a puppy it’s too dark to read.”

    – After Groucho Marx

  17. Heck, I can prove that xdpaul is arguing in bad faith here. He doesn’t even believe what he’s saying.

    Earlier he estimated that Old Man’s War moved something like 40k-70k units during its year of release. Here he is apparently earnestly asserting that dividing a book’s total sales over the number of years it’s been on sale will yield a useful estimate of how many books it has sold in the current year.

    But if sales were linear in that fashion, then Old Man’s War would have sold between 400,000 and 700,000 units in print by now, wouldn’t it?

    Of course, when he was citing those numbers earlier, he was doing so to demonstrate that the biggest bump a book gets is at the beginning, and then it tapers off after that… a point which is utterly at odds with the claims he’s relying on when he speaks of averages. The two arguments he’s switching between undermine each other.

    And the tapering off is a real thing. I do expect Lock In to get most of its sales in its first year of release… with the caveat that the mass market run is its own animal that will almost by definition sell more copies than the hardcover run. It’s the simple economics of the price point, but the hint is also there in the name: mass market.

    And the second caveat that if the pilot gets made and it goes to series on TV… there’s very likely be a new printing of the book to tie-in. Now the show even getting made is by no means a sure thing.

    The really silly thing is that xdpaul is still circling around trying to prove something by massaging these arbitrary numbers when I’ve already said I would not be surprised if the print sales for Lock In don’t ultimately measure up to the print sales for Old Man’s War, just that it’s a mistake to take a blurry snapshot of a single book’s performance as the pulse of an author’s career trajectory.

  18. Alexandra, if you were capable of arithmetic, you cold simply take JJ’s figures, divide those by the total years since publication, and get the averages.

    It is kind of funny to watch you embarrass yourself with this repeated display of your ignorance concerning the publishing industry. It is kind of like watching someone step on the same rake over and over again.

  19. Looking at my last post, I realize that it may be unclear who I was referring to. If anyone needs this clarified, the person displaying abject ignorance concerning the publishing industry is xdpaul. He’s wearing clown shoes and doesn’t realize it.

  20. On the plus side, Comixology is having a GRRM sale, so if you want to pick up his Hedge Knight comics for cheap then….

  21. The page of poetry made me snicker and then laugh out loud. Great work, everyone.

  22. There was a young man from Sasquan
    Who set out to make a fresh con.
    With duct tape and cans,
    Made an army of slans,
    And made off with the Hugo anon.

  23. Alexandra Erin: Well really, it’s the least I could do. I love it when a person’s own argument accidentally invalidates the point they try to make.

  24. We’re poor little pups who’ve lost our way,
    Woof! Woof! Woof!
    We’re little white dogs who’ve gone astray,
    Bark-ar-ark!
    Gentlemen-puppies out on the spree,
    Damned from here to Eternity,
    We speak only rhetorically
    Bark! Woof! Bark!

  25. It’s probably my fault for even indulging his ridiculous supposition. The bottom line is he’s looking at the shapes of two icebergs jutting out of the sea and thinking he can extrapolate everything that isn’t visible about them—past, present, and future—from just what is poking out right now.

    Maybe it’s time we stop kicking Aristotle around and bring up Plato’s allegory of the cave. I’m sure he’s at least familiar with the dim outlines of that one.

  26. “@VD “Where there is shame is claiming that you have 2 million pageviews when you truly have only 305,000?

    No, it really isn’t. For one thing, you are probably telling a rhetoric again, but even if those numbers were true… Most of us don’t share your weird obsession with either Scalzi or comparing page view numbers between blogs.”

    However, it’s in the same vein as Brian Williams lying about rocket attacks.

    Maybe Scalzi should try out for NBC.

  27. Um why the puppy hatred for John Scalzi? He’s hardly a controversial writer. In fact I thought they would like his MilSF and rollicky storytelling.
    Also what do sales have to do with a literary award?

    Some friend must now perforce
    Go forth and tell my boy
    To saddle me my wooden puppy
    For I mean to conquer Troy.

  28. @Alexandra – Yep, I think he is going to… (Is it tripling down at this point?) continue to ignore all of those inconvenient facts and throw out insults in order to try to distract people from the fact that he has no idea what he is talking about.

    I’ve seen this a lot on Reddit, it usually means that the person has realized that their position is untenable, but they refuse to admit it. Next he is going to post on another site about how non-puppies can’t do math.

  29. I am the very model of a modern Canine-Miserable.
    I’ve indignations slight, imagined, and quite risible.
    I know the Nielsen Haydens, and I quote their slates historical
    from novellete to best short form on ballots categorical;
    I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters dialectical,
    and syllogisms, both implied and also quite elliptical,
    About rhetorical speaking I’m teeming with a lot of news
    with many outraged squeals about the lies of SJWs.

    I’m very good at inference and attributing animus,
    I know the things I know are true without any analysis.
    In short, in outrage slight, imagined, and quite risible,
    I am the very model of a modern Canine-Miserable.

  30. bbz, it’s basically purely personal. Scalzi took part in showing how much of a fool Bale was making of himself in a 2005 thread at Making Light, and occasionally thereafter. And Beale is very, very, very good at holding grudges. Likewise with some of the others: Scalzi shows that you can be successful and popular personally by not being a fearful, hateful scumbag, and is thus a proof by existence that it isn’t necessary to live as they do, and that’s unforgiveable.

    There’s honestly not much more to it than that.

  31. I can’t imagine holding onto that kind of hatred for 10 years. It would almost be impressive if it wasn’t so dumb.

  32. Alexandra Erin, I think the reason xdpaul though he could be so impudent (and factually incorrect) with you about math is that your screen name is of a gender that many of the more narrowminded associate with lack of math skills.

  33. For me, one of the biggest wins of this entire affair has been my introduction to Alexandra Erin’s writing.

  34. That would be wild applause for AlexanDRA.

    I can spell. I can’t type. Apologies.

  35. Um why the puppy hatred for John Scalzi?

    Half jealousy, half spite. Here’s somebody who writes middle of the road mil-sf which for some reason gets the sales and acclaim that they don’t get for their own middle of the road mil-sf. All of which could’ve been forgiven, if not for the unforgivable sin of Scalzi being more liberal and openminded than should be allowed for being a writer of mil-sf.

    Scalzi has managed to build himself quite a large audience, for his fiction but especially online and has used his bully pulpit more than occassionally to promote diversity, coming out on the social justice side of things. And while he’ll probably be the first to admit that he’s far from the only one doing so, let alone that it is his main focus, Puppy worldview does not allow for a prominent dude like Scalzi to not be the ringleader of any “movement”.

    Hence their obsession with him: they think that if they can discredit him, they can discredit the whole SJW “takeover” of science fiction and fandom.

  36. just that it’s a mistake to take a blurry snapshot of a single book’s performance as the pulse of an author’s career trajectory.

    But what is the sales velocity?

    (/sarcasm, mocking prior sales discussions not anything you wrote)

  37. Applause to all the poets. Unfortunately I don’t have the skills to do justice to any version of Jem Casey, the People’s Poet (“A Pint of Plain is Your Only Man”), it being already a subtle (but affectionate) parody of a certain viewpoint.

    Now take that stuff your man was giving us a while ago, said Shanahan
    without heed, about the green hills and the bloody swords and the bird giving out the pay from the top of the tree. Now that’s good stuff, it’s bloody nice. Do you know what it is, I liked it and liked it well. I enjoyed that certainly … But
    the man in the street, where does he come in? By God he doesn’t
    come in at all as far as I can see….
    But there’s one man, said Shanahan, there’s one man that can
    write pomes that you can read all day and all night and keep reading
    them to your heart’s content, stuff you’d never tire of. Pomes
    written by a man that is one of ourselves and written down for ourselves
    to read …
    The name or title of the pome I am about to recite, gentlemen,
    said Shanahan with leisure priest-like in character, is a pome by the
    name of the ‘Workman’s Friend.’ By God you can’t beat it. I’ve heard
    it praised by the highest. It’s a pome about a thing that’s known to
    all of us. It’s about a drink of porter …

    http://www.maths.tcd.ie/~bradyn/flann.html

  38. Aside from the things other people have mentioned, Scalzi is a straight white male who has denounced racism, sexism, and homophobia. This makes him a traitor to his class.

  39. In super amusing news, Theadore Beale is now charging 20 bucks a month to listen to him to talk to people for a couple of hours.

  40. The Puppies is a slate, ma lads, for the Hugo Prize she’s bound,

    And the quay it is aa garnished wi bonnie fanboyz round.

    Captain Torgersen he orders tae vote the Puppies high,

    He’ll fetch himself a Hugo, lads, or know the reason why.

    Chorus

    And it’s cheer up, ma lads, let yer hearts fill wi hate.

    When the Sad and Rabid Puppies nab the Hugos for the slate.

    Along the quays at Puppyheim the fanboys stand aroond,

    Their angst all pulled aboot them and the salt tears rinnin doon.

    Oh, don’t you weep, my bonnie Pups, though ye’ll be left behind.

    For the Beale will pal wi’ Scalzi, before we change our mind.

    Here’s a health tae the Son o’ Torger, likewise the John C. Wright,

    Here’s a health tae the Monster Hunter, and the fans who fight the fight.

    We wear the trenchcoats o the brown, an fedoras o the gray,

    We’ll pack the slate wi Pups me lad, we cannae lose that way.

    It’ll be bright baith day and night when the Puppy lads come hame,

    Wi a load of Puppy Hugos, boys, and money tae oor name.

    Like the ships all crushed in ice, me lads, while fishing for the whale,

    We’ll try and try and try again until the Pups prevail.

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