To Sail Beyond the Doghouse 5/19

aka Chronicle of a Slate Foretold

Hitched to the sled today are Spacefaring Kitten, David Gerrold, Vox Day, Jim Henley, John C. Wright, Jim C. Hines, Lis Carey, Martin Wisse, Chris Gerrib, Joe Sherry, Rebekah Golden, Bob Snyder, and the masterpiece of Brian Z. (Title credit belongs to File 770 contributing editors of the day Rev. Bob and Kary English.)

Spacefaring Kitten on Spacefaring, Extradimensional Kittens

Unfisk / refisk / fisk² – May 19

All I know about smoking ruins is that if that’s to happen, Elric the Prince of Ruins will be pleased. Frankly, I don’t think that anything is truly lost in either case. A Puppy-sponsored work getting a Hugo is not the end of the world and there have been weak winners in the past (and maybe all Puppy-nominated works aren’t that weak). No Award winning means that the majority of the Worldcon voters didn’t enjoy the works on the Rabid Puppies slate (plus the two or three additions that Sad Puppies managed to get up there on their own) and/or they weren’t ready to give in to a campaign of tactical voting, and that’s fine too.

I wonder who are the “CHORFs” Brad’s talking about there. Kevin J. Maroney hasn’t been suggesting that you should vote No Award over everything, slate or not. Neither has Teresa Nielsen Hayden, or Steve Davidson, or Anita Sarkeesian, or John Scalzi, or Karl Marx, or Barack Obama. I’ve been following the discussion rather closely and I remember reading one single blog post in which someone said that the voters should do a blanket No Award thing, and I think nobody was very keen on the idea.

Brad, is it possible that you’re exaggerating?

 

David Gerrold on Facebook – May 18

Coming back to a comment someone made here about “threats of ostracism” — no.

In all the articles I’ve seen, nobody has said, “We’re going to shun X, Y, and Z.”

Because … nobody in fandom has the power to lock anyone out.

But what is possible is that people will choose on their own not to associate with those who they perceive as toxic.

It’s not even an organized boycott. It’s just a personal reaction.

An example from the 70s: There was a C-list author whose behavior toward women was so creepy that when he entered a room, several of the women would quietly and discreetly excuse themselves and leave. He was never specifically ostracized — but individuals were choosing to spend their time elsewhere. That’s the most you’ll ever see in fandom.

And here’s how that works on the larger level:

There are opportunities that are occasionally offered to authors. You get invited to speak, you get handed an award, you get to be a Guest of Honor, sometimes you even get a lifetime achievement plaque. All very nice. But if you have a reputation for being hard to work with, and there are a lot of authors and artists who have that reputation — or if you’re the center of a major controversy, one that you created yourself — the organizers of those opportunities are going to look elsewhere for honorees.

 

Vox Day on Vox Popoli

“King Log or King Stork?” – May 19

The moment that the SJWs in the science fiction community decided they could exclude individuals from it (and whether the SFWA expulsion was technically real or not is irrelevant in this regard), that meant the open community concept was dead. The principle was established. Now we can exclude Eskimos, people with big noses, people with little noses, people who look funny, or people who smell bad; in short, we can openly exclude anyone we have the power and the desire to exclude. There is no longer free speech in science fiction.

There is no longer freedom of expression or thought. It is now a simple ideological power game and we are ready to play that game with extreme prejudice. There is no need for discourse. There is no need for dialogue, for compromise, or negotiations. There is nothing to discuss. They laid out the new rules.

They laid out the new consensus. We not only accept them, we’re going to use make far more ruthless use of them than they ever imagined. Once we were content to let the twisted little moral freaks do and think and say what they wanted, but now they have claimed the right to tell US what to do and think and say we’re not going to tolerate them anymore. We are the sons of the Crusades and the daughters of the Inquisitions. This is a game we know how to win.

 

Jim Henley on Unqualified Offerings

“The Puppies of This Generation and the Trainers of Ever Afterwards” – May 19

What occasioned considerable jocularity in comments was Wright’s statement that

For the record, I write literary fiction…

People laughed at this because many of them have read Wright’s stories and/or essays and found them to be bad. But I have no problem with Wright’s claim whatsoever. Not because I think his stories and essays are actually good. I haven’t read them. People who seem to be acute readers have found his Hugo-nominated work wanting or worse, but even if, as I suspect, they’ve got it right, I still have no problem with Wright calling his own work “literary fiction.”

 

John C. Wright in a comment on File 770 – May 19

I notice this debate consists of two points, endlessly repeated: We say that for which we stand, what our goals and methods and motives are, publicly and repeatedly. The enemy pretends we said something else and that are motives are whatever impure and horrible impulse happens to be at hand. We state that we said what we said and that our motives are what we said. The enemy pretends we did not say it. And repeat.

Now, just as a matter of logic, who has access to knowledge about our inner secret motives? How did we communicate our goals to each other and to our voters aside from public statements of our goals?

 

 

Jim C. Hines

“Hugo Thoughts: Short Fiction” – May 19

No Award will be scoring pretty high in this category. That doesn’t mean I think all of the stories are bad. (Though I don’t think they’re all good, either.) But it’s one thing for a story to be competent or interesting or fun. It’s another thing for that story to be award-worthy, for me to consider it one of the best things published in the past year. Four of these stories don’t clear that bar for me, and the fifth I’ll have to think about a little more.

 

Lis Carey on Lis Carey’s Library

“The Plural of Helen of Troy (from the collection City Beyond Time), by John C. Wright” – May 19

There’s a plot here, but time travel can make even a simple plot complicated, and Wright has no interest in people following the story. The nonlinear storytelling was a “feature” I didn’t need in a story where I already had difficulty caring what happened to the characters.

 

Lis Carey on Lis Carey’s Library

“Pale Realms of Shade (in The Book of Feasts & Seasons), by John C. Wright” – May 20

Based on reading all the other Wright fiction nominees, I kept waiting for this to go bad places. It didn’t. It’s a solid story that, given it is explicitly religious fiction, expresses beliefs and values that have a strong and positive resonance for me. It won’t work for other people for the very reasons it does work for me, and it’s not so good that it blows me away, but this is the first of the Puppy nominees whose placement on my ballot I will have to think seriously about.

 

Martin Wisse on Wis[s]e Words

“My gods it’s full of puppy poo!” – May 19

That gets you two of last year’s best novels and nobody will force you to read the Kevin J. Anderson. Many of the other categories are of course soiled with Puppy droppings you don’t want even if free, but there are some gems among the dross. Especially so in the Best Graphic Story category, with no Puppy nominee included and complete PDFs of Sex Criminals Vol. 1, Saga Vol. 3, Ms Marvel Vol. 1 and Rat Queens Vol. 1.

Though the Hugo Voting Packet should be seen as a bonus, rather than an inalienable part of buying a supporting membership for Worldcon, for plenty of people this of course has been the main benefit of membership, after getting to vote for the Hugos and all that. For those people this year’s packet is far from a bargain, despite the presence of the books listed above. Another reason to smack down the Puppies..

 

Chris Gerrib on Private Mars Rocket

“Hugo Packet – Thoughts” – May 19

Best Related Mike Williamson’s Wisdom From My Internet is everything the Amazon preview promised, namely random crap half-assedly puked into book format. Yeah, I get that it was parody, but I’m not amused by it. Antonelli’s Letters from Gardner is better (small praise indeed) but seems mostly an excuse for an anthology of Antonelli’s short fiction. No Award for the whole category.

 

Joe Sherry on Adventures in Reading

“Thoughts on the Hugo Award Nominees: Short Story” – May 19

“On a Spiritual Plain” / “A Single Samurai”: One thing that I found very interesting about reading through the nominated short works is that they pair very closely in my head in how I would rank them. Antonelli’s story of a faith (of sorts) on an alien world and a man trying to lead a human spirit to wherever “moving on” turns out to be. It’s a simple story, but cleanly told. The comparison between human faith and that of the alien is interesting. “A Single Samurai”, on the other hand, is a story of action, of one samurai taking on a kaiju about to terrorize the samurai’s land. There is a certain spirituality to the samurai’s thoughts and actions and an economy to the movement and pacing of the story. On a different day, I could flip my ranking of these two stories.

 

Rebekah Golden

‘2015 Hugo Awards Best TV Show: Reviewing Orphan Black” – May 18

I can easily see how the whole series deserves a Hugo and this episode definitely has individual merit.

Rebekah Golden

“2015 Hugo Awards Best Graphic Story: Reviewing Sex Criminals” – May 18

Well this one definitely captured the “graphic” part of graphic story.

Rebekah Golden

“2015 Hugo Awards Best TV Show: Reviewing Grimm” – May 19

It was good, it was entertaining but I’m hung up on the history of the Hugo Award and the depth of respect I feel for past winners. Grimm is good, and this episode is good, but it’s not that good.

 

Adult Onset Atheist

“SNARL: Turncoat” – May 19

For a story where there is so much happening there is very little going on.

 

 

Brian Z. on File 770 – May 19

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for Castalia House that day;
The score stood 16 of 20 with one story out of play.
And then when Kloos withdrew at first, and Bellet did the same,
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.

A straggling few turned off the stream in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought if only John C. Wright could get a whack at that–
We’d put up even money now with John Wright at the bat.

But Vox preceded John Wright, as did Bryan Thomas Schmidt,
Resnick already had 36, and Schubert, he had quit;
So upon that Evil League of Pups a pall was settling in,
For there seemed but little chance for John Wright’s editor to win.

Thomas Schmidt’s Kickstarter was still in its final surge,
And Vox, the much despised, had so far failed to reemerge;
And when the list was opened, and the pups saw what had occurred,
There was Resnick safe at second and poor Bryan hugging third.

Then from 5,000 pups and more there rose a lusty bark;
It echoed through the group blogs, it rattled Riverfront Park;
It blasted like a ray gun shining from the Golden Age,
For John Wright, mighty John Wright, was advancing to the stage.

There was ease in John Wright’s manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in John Wright’s bearing and a smile on John Wright’s face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No rabbit in the crowd could doubt ’twas John Wright at the bat.

Ten thousand eyes were on him as he dipped his pen in ink;
The hoi polloi applauded as he urged them to the brink.
Then as Social Justice Warriors began to jibe and snip,
Defiance flashed in John Wright’s eye, a sneer curled John Wright’s lip.

And now the silver-plated rocket came from off the stage,
And John Wright stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy penman the trophy unheeded sped–
“Remember, nits make lice,” said John Wright. “No Award,” the Emcee said.

From Ustream, thick with puppies, there went up a muffled howl,
While Torgersen swooped in again like Weasley’s Great Gray Owl.
“BOO HIM! BOO THE CHORF!” shouted someone in the thread;
And it’s likely they’d have booed him had not John Wright raised his head.

With a smile of Christian charity great John Wright’s visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the show go on;
He signaled to the Emcee, and once more the rocket flew;
But John Wright still ignored it, and Mr. Gerrold said, “Strike two.”

“Fraud!” cried the rabid puppies, and echo answered fraud;
But one scornful look from John Wright and the audience was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his fingers strain,
And they knew that John Wright wouldn’t let that rocket by again.

The sneer is gone from John Wright’s lip, his teeth are clenched in rage;
He scratches with hyperbole his pen upon the page.
And as Due holds the envelope, he continues to compose,
And now the air is shattered by the force of John Wright’s prose.

Oh, somewhere on the favored fen the sun is shining bright;
The filk is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere pups are yelping, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy at Sasquan –mighty John Wright has struck out.

605 thoughts on “To Sail Beyond the Doghouse 5/19

  1. SocialInjusticeWorrier:

    Brian, you know how much I love watching you work, but I’ve got my country’s 500th Hugo conspiracy to plan, my big fat SJW wedding to arrange, puppies to murder and Gamergate to frame for it; I’m swamped.

    I’ll pull my weight, don’t worry. Here: you start by singing “busted flat at Westercon, heading for Spokane” except you have to loudly and obnoxiously rhyme it with “train” just to enjoy the expression on the faces of the poor locals.

  2. “However, I found AJ so boring and the preaching just tiresome”

    So, do tell, since it was clear enough as to be tiresome — what was Ancillary Justice “preaching”?

  3. So while you’re here John, do you have any words to share on your use of the genocidal declaration of the Sand Creek massacre or your use of homophobic slurs coupled with the claim that men feel naturally inclined to assault them?

  4. SocialInjusticeWarrior – Yep, same. I get why it won so many awards (an amazing feat for any author) but it wasn’t the book I enjoyed the most from that year. It’s why I’ve been slow in getting around to AS.

  5. @Brian Z

    Let me assure you, you really don’t want to begin any endeavor with me singing. When I sing in the shower, the local frogs form a protest committee and demand that I cease and desist from satirizing their work.

  6. @John C. Wright:

    I suggest not listening to whomever told you that. It is similar to people who claim I don’t like women, and quote passages where I praise women fulsomely in support of the contention.

    Was woman in “One Bright Star To Guide Me By” named Sally or Sarah?

  7. “However, I found AJ so boring and the preaching just tiresome. I thought I got away from preachers long ago.”

    HA! Beyond Anon, I’ve been trolled by James May. I’ve read comments by James May. James May is no friend of mine. Beyond Anon, you’re no James May.

    (For laughs, I too would like to know which parts of AJ you found preachy.)

  8. @John C. Wright: I want to know how you square holding uploading with anything but antipathy with your conclusions from “Transhuman and Subhuman”. In particular, you state “Immortal humans would be devils, since we would decay in our sins over the centuries, becoming ever more selfish and arrogant.”

  9. “Immortal humans would be devils, since we would decay in our sins over the centuries, becoming ever more selfish and arrogant.”

    “The second option is that the Perfect People would not retain their human nature. Creatures without souls but with intellects capable of free will are devils. The only thing they can do is destroy. At that point, eventually, the great anarchy will reign, and the only thing these heirs to the one-great human race will find to occupy their immortal and endless and meaningless time, is discover ways to destroy themselves and each other.”

    I can certainly see how a reasonable person would derive from this the notion that the author of these words disapproved of uploading of people, or any similar extreme life-extension and moderation project.

    @JCW: “It takes a true devotion to the one sole principle of Social Justice Warfare, namely, the principle of lying even when lies are unnecessary, foolish, and counterproductive, to turn a record like mine that into ” I’m told that Wright thinks that uploading is an evil thing…””

    Actually, all it takes is one person reading the above, and going “Wow, JCW thinks uploading leads to terrible consequences…” and then telling someone else. No lies are involved.

    As we’ve seen time and time again, from Mr. Beale’s rhetorical “SJWs always lie”, to Mr. “How dare anyone pretend to know my motives” Wright (who will happily tell people what their principles are) — disagreeing with them is lying. Making a mistake is lying. Repeating (honestly) what one has heard about them is lying.

    No wonder they think SJWs always lie — that’s how they’ve set up the game.

  10. @Chris Hensley — I think I owe you a coke, should we ever meet in physical space. 🙂 My compliments on your brevity.

  11. @XS:

    your use of homophobic slurs coupled with the claim that men feel naturally inclined to assault them

    My money is on “I’m not homophobic because I’m not afraid of gay men,” plus a breezy dismissal of the charge of encouraging violence towards same, padded with twaddle to bring it to 500 words. Having done it once already today, he will not use the word “fulsome” in a way that suggests that he doesn’t get that the word generally implies “excessive and insincere.”

  12. Why is it so hard to understand that the woman was called Sally as a girl and Sarah as an adult? Sally is a nickname for Sarah.

    Are you also confused by the use of Bob as a nickname for Robert? Dick for Richard?

  13. >> You realize that you have now identified Hagen-Daz icecream as an SJW food? John C Wright will be putting it on the Index Comestibleorum Prohibitorum any minute now.
    >>Which, of course, means ALL THE MORE FOR US!>>

    Wrongfans eatin wrongfood!

  14. Schwartz – Mr. “How dare anyone pretend to know my motives” Wright (who will happily tell people what their principles are)

    It’s almost like he judges people by one set of standards while lives by another.

    He comes in, says someone is wrong, something something SJWs, some word salad (higher quality though, a nice kale instead of iceberg) then flounces. Yawn.

  15. @Kurt Busiek

    “Wrongfans eatin wrongfood!”

    It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it.

  16. SocialInjusticeWorrier: “Freedom’s just another word for no Puppies left to peruse.”

    All right, damn it, now you’ve finally done it. You just had to put that earworm in my head, didn’t you?

    You just wait. I will get you back for this, one way or another.

    Busted flat in SFF Land, waitin’ for Sasquan,
    and I’s feeling nearly’s deprived as can be.
    Puppies dumped a dreckload down, the packet’s just arrived.
    Full of Puppy message fic for me.

    I stayed up too late, reading Goblin Emperor.
    And Ancill’ry Sword’s pages, how they flew.
    But Butcher’s Skin Game’s mighty hard, it’s taken many nights.
    And I’m still not even halfway through.

    Freedom’s just another word, for no Puppies left to peruse.
    Hugo don’t mean nothin’ honey if I can’t read it.
    Yeah, feelin’ good was easy, Lord, when I read Cixin Liu.
    You know excellent prose was good enough for me.
    But not good enough for the Damn Puppies.

    From the shorter-length Novellas, through yet smaller Novelettes,
    The Puppies left their territory mark.
    Through all of the Short Stories, and through Related Works,
    Yeah, Puppies making Hugo’s outlook dark.

    One day I’ll be done with this, the deadline’s on the way.
    I’m looking for the end of it, and then I’ll be fine.
    But I’d trade all of my tomorrows, for one single yesterday,
    to be havin’ no more Puppy works in line.

    Freedom’s just another word, for no Puppies left to peruse.
    Hugo don’t mean nothin’ honey if I can’t read it.
    Yeah, feelin’ good was easy, Lord, when I read Cixin Liu.
    You know gripping plots were good enough for me.
    But not good enough for those Damn Puppies.

  17. Mr. Wright has left, it seems, though it would be great if he could clear up that conundrum. Maybe his thinking has just changed – though if it’s changed that much he might want to publish a revised essay.

    I have to say, after reading that Flint piece earlier today I find the whole notion that “SJWs always lie” to be getting ever more offensive. I mean, at this point I’d like to avoid assuming the label at all because its creation devalued folks who actually are working for change in the world, but to keep on using it as a goad is just… ugh.

  18. A quote from One Bright Star To Guide Them, just to illustrate the bizarre world of Wrightthink (or perhaps I mean Wrightwrite?):

    “It was that envy that had finally driven him out into the foggy night, to find the old stone-and-wood public house where Irish dockworkers sometimes swapped tall tales of mermaids and of little people, of selkie and of banshee and of stern, pale kings from the fairy world. ”

    I may be in a minority here, but speaking as someone who grew up in a couple of relatively rough towns on the east coast, I have to yet to find any pub where Irish dockworkers spend their time discussing mythology. They tend, in my reasonably extensive experience, to discuss sport, women, foremen they hate, women, the weather, the best places to find good beer, women, sport… you get the picture. Mermaids, selkies, banshees etc just don’t get a look in.

  19. XS : So while you’re here John, do you have any words to share on your use of the genocidal declaration of the Sand Creek massacre or your use of homophobic slurs coupled with the claim that men feel naturally inclined to assault them?

    He doesn’t have to answer to *YOU*! He’s got more important stuff to do, like get back to his own blog and complain about how SJWs always lie about him.

    Probably by using discrete elements of written prose valued at over a deci-guilder where the hoi polloi would be content, in their devilish Morlock way, with cheap, simpler whitterings.

  20. Going to Maine: And that is why they trot out their insane mantra “SJWs always lie”, every time they blow through. It functions as a Big Lie, and an annoying goad. And when they get called on their own lies, or the stupidity of their statement, they vomit out the usual guff of “Rhetoric! Aristotle! Winning!”, and depart.

    Its worthwhile to quickly point out flaws in their arguments, but after that, time to move on back to having an actual discussion amongst the people here who are actually willing to converse. And joke and filk, because you may as well enjoy yourself.

  21. @ JJ

    I stand in awe of your magnificent octopus!

    Mind you, I’d really like to see you find a rhyme for Liu…

  22. Aaron, Owlmirror jayn and anyone else who took the time to point me to Brad’s confederate dream, thanks! Hey, I loved that post! Did he take that down?

    Can I propose that wherever we are, we all meet back here in the wee morning hours of Sunday, August 23rd in order to really do justice to “The Night They Drove Sad Puppies Down:”

    Kate the Impaler’s my name and I drove on the Mad Genius train
    ‘Til Scalzi’s insect army came and one-star reviewed us again.
    In the spring of ‘one-five, on the final ballot, we had survived.
    By April 26th, Ravencon fell.
    It’s a time I remember, oh so well.

    (“Ravencon kvelled?” “at Ravencon we dwelled”? Well, there’s still time to think about it.)

  23. @John C Wright:”It is similar to people who claim I don’t like women, and quote passages where I praise women fulsomely in support of the contention.”

    I haven’t seen anyone cite passages where you “praise women fulsomely”. I’ve seen people cite passages where you speak of women in patronizing and condescending ways, utilizing some truly idiotic stereotypes to pander to a madonna/whore ideology that 1) has no basis in reality and 2) insults and degrades women in every conceivable way. (And having now read the work in its entirety, it is clear that these passages were not somehow taken out of context. Your attitude toward women really is that vile.) That you think your words “praise” women shows a foolishness that is beyond compare.

  24. Once I ran to you (I ran)
    But you stole my Hugo
    This tainted prize you’ve given
    I give you all a Pup could give you
    Take my tears and that’s not nearly all
    Tainted love
    Tainted love

    Now I know I’ve got to
    Run away I’ve got to
    Get away
    You don’t really want any more from me
    Your John C Wright
    You’ve got a CHORF to hold you tight
    You think love is to pray
    I’m sorry I don’t pray that way

    Don’t touch me please
    I cannot stand your SJWese
    I love you though you hurt me so
    Now I’m going to pack my Pup and go
    Touch me baby, tainted love
    Touch me baby, tainted love
    Touch me baby, tainted love

  25. Why is it so hard to understand that the woman was called Sally as a girl and Sarah as an adult? Sally is a nickname for Sarah.

    Huh. I had never heard this before, but research bears this out.

    Are you also confused by the use of Bob as a nickname for Robert? Dick for Richard?

    I knew of those diminutives, yes, but not the one in question. There’s always more to learn.

  26. SocialInjusticeWorrier: I hesitate to sleep tonight for fear of that song playing out in my nightmares.

  27. Oh, and Molly or Mollie used to be quite a common nickname for Mary or Margaret, but is mostly an official first name now.

  28. Okay here’s my version. First verse only (so far):

    Larry’s Lament

    Busted flat in Hugo-land; no award for me
    And I’s feeling like the libruls done me wrong.
    Voxxy, thumb the Gators down – tell ‘em that it’s time
    To get our rockets back where they belong.

    I pulled my Twitter feed out of my angry right-wing blog post
    I was Tweeting loud while Voxxy called his troops.
    We’ll push our slate and stage a coup
    And get those ess-jay-double-yous
    And make them read a pile of Puppy poop!

    Freedom’s just another word for no Puppies to peruse.
    Rockets don’t mean nothing if they’re not for me.
    Stealing noms was easy, Lord, with my nutty anti-Muse.
    Stealing noms was good enough for me.
    Good enough for me and my buddy, VD.

  29. I’ll never not be upset over Lion-O not being an acceptable diminutive for Lionel.

  30. SocialInjusticeWorrier:”Mind you, I’d really like to see you find a rhyme for Liu…”

    Sue?
    Rue?
    New/knew?
    Mu?
    Stew?
    Woo!

    ….lieu.

  31. CPaca:”Probably by using discrete elements of written prose valued at over a deci-guilder where the hoi polloi would be content, in their devilish Morlock way, with cheap, simpler whitterings.”

    Extra credit for THE hoi pilloi.

  32. Clack on May 20, 2015 at 8:51 pm said:
    Why is it so hard to understand that the woman was called Sally as a girl and Sarah as an adult? Sally is a nickname for Sarah.

    This would make more sense if the narrator weren’t switching back and forth between them in present.

    http://i.imgur.com/PXArcmx.png

    It could’ve been an effective stylistic choice if she became Sally when she was saying hopeful things, but there she sounds old and tired. As it stands it comes across as stilted. And yes, I’d say the same thing if the narrator switched rapidly between Robert and Bob when referring to the same character.

  33. I was down to Sasquan convention, I saw my Hugo there
    She was standin’ on a long white table,
    With her nose-tip in the air

    Let her go, let her go, Dog bless her,
    You SJWry
    You may search this whole wide world over
    Never find a sweeter Pup as me

    When I die please bury me in my Monster Hunter hat
    Put a twenty dollar gold piece on my Pup chain
    The Pups’ll know I died standing pat

    Let her go, let her go God bless her
    You SJWry
    She may search this wide world over
    Never find a sweeter man as me

    I want six crap writers to be my pallbearers
    Three bad editors to sing a song
    Stick Teddy Beale on my hearse wagon
    Raise hell as I stroll along

    Let her go Let her go
    God bless her
    You SJWry
    She may search this whole wide
    World over
    She’ll never find a sweeter
    Pup as me

  34. SocialInjusticeWorrier: “Mind you, I’d really like to see you find a rhyme for Liu…”

    Freedom’s just another word, for no Puppies left to peruse.
    Hugo don’t mean nothin’ honey if I can’t read it.
    Yeah, feelin’ good was easy, Lord, when I read Cixin Liu’s.

  35. @JJ

    I could be really cruel and pedantic with a twirl of my John C Wright pornstache and point out that Liu is pronounced closer to Lee-oh than Lee-oo, but I do enjoy the audacity with which you managed to integrate it into your visual rhymes.

  36. Man, Fury Road was crazy awesome. I’ve got this semi-formed thought rattling around in my head about cultural signifiers / shibboleths as a form of fanservice – ie, when there’s a reference or an image in something, essentially as a shortcut to show that the people making it are one of us, or that thats when Things are Gonna Get Good.

    When the first shot of the guitarist shows up at the war party in Fury Road, you know that Things are Gonna Get REAL GOOD

  37. SocialInjusticeWorrier:

    I want six crap writers to be my pallbearers
    Three bad editors to sing a song
    Stick Teddy Beale on my hearse wagon
    Raise hell as I stroll along

    OK, fell off my chair laughing at that one.

  38. @Mike Glyer

    Hey, I am shamelessly willing to accept the compliment and lobby for a citation in your glorious and impeccably well-judged round-up which is a triumph of the human spirit and an invaluable testimony to the value of an enlightened connoisseurship all too rare in our age of spurious book covers! I’ve even got a few quatloos that need to find a better home, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

  39. A bit late, I must say I wasn’t very impressed by the graphic story category.

    Ms Marvel has absolutely nothing new that hasn’t been done before, apart from the heroine being a muslim. It is like a clone of Ditkos Speedball.

    Sexcriminals was boring. Everything hangs on people finding sex being titillating by itself, thus not having to care about the story. I found it trite and didn’t like the artwork.

    Rat Queens was a bit fun, but the fantasy riot grrrl scthick only lasted so far. No real character development, no interesting story. Liked the artwork though.

    And don’t let me start on Zombie Nation…

    So only one alternative to vote consider, Saga. That is not a strong category for me. However, I’m happy that I finally got to read Saga.

  40. I feel stuck in the past since I’m not doing song lyrics (much as I’m enjoying what is showing up here), but:

    Tom Swift and His Electric Puppies

  41. SocialInjusticeWorrier, your song is great exactly the way it is and yet somehow I contributed something to it totally without asking your permission or anything. (Sorry.)

    Sometimes I feel I’ve got to
    Self promote I’ve got to
    Link away
    To reviews that link back to the site of me
    The group blog we share
    Seems to go nowhere
    And I’ve lost my light
    I checked bookscan I can’t sell tonight

    Once I ran on your slate (I ran)
    Now it’s just too late
    This tainted rec you’ve given
    I give you all a Pup could give you
    Take my fans and that’s not nearly all
    Tainted pulp (oh oh oh oh)
    Tainted pulp

    Now I know I’ve got to
    Blog away I’ve got to
    Tweet away
    You don’t really want pingbacks from me
    Your John C Wright
    You need a CHORF to fight
    You think its all fair play
    I’m sorry I don’t play that way

    Once I ran on your slate (I ran)
    Now it’s just too late
    This tainted rec you’ve given
    I give you all a Pup could give you
    Take my fans and that’s not nearly all
    Tainted pulp (oh oh oh oh)
    Tainted pulp

    Don’t lecture me please
    I cannot stand your SJWese
    I hate the message and you bore me so
    Now I’m going to pack my Pups and go
    Tainted pulp, tainted pulp
    Tainted pulp, tainted pulp
    Vote for me baby, tainted pulp
    Vote for me baby, tainted pulp

  42. @Brian Z

    The more the merrier. I quite like keeping the line about “I am sorry I don’t pray that way” in connection to John C Wright, where it seems appropriate, but your take on it is as enjoyable as always.

  43. The most non-intuitive one for me is Daisy as a nickname for Margaret, but I guess that’s only a puzzler if you don’t speak French.

  44. SJWier, I think I like your version better too. (But once I thought of “I checked bookscan I can’t sell tonight” there was nothing to be done but get the thing out of my system.)

  45. They’re right, of course. Social Justice Warriors DO always lie. Why, I am a Social Justice Warrior myself, and I’m lying to you right now.

    Except, if I’m lying, then I’m telling the truth! And if I’m telling the truth, then I’m lying!

    Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers which smell BAD. Are you sure your circuits are registering correctly?

    Robot puppy head explodes.

  46. @Owlmirror: Thanks for the tip to “When it ends, he catches her”. It was every bit as good as you said.

  47. Happyturtle: “Thanks for the tip to “When it ends, he catches her”. It was every bit as good as you said.”

    Yes, and it’s an absolute heartbreaker that the Puppies may have deprived Eugie Foster of her last opportunity at a Hugo nomination.

    When the shortlists come out the morning after the Hugo ceremony, there are going to be a lot of people really angry about the works which the mediocre Puppy slate entries kept off the ballot.

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