Filers Destroy Pixel Scroll

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Filers proved today there is no such thing as an innocent question….

Bonnie McDaniel https://file770.com/?p=28284&cpage=1#comment-417321

By the way, since this is National Poetry Month, are we having Scroll titles based on poems?

The other Nigel https://file770.com/?p=28284&cpage=1#comment-417341

T’was Brillig and the Pixel Scroll did gyre and gimble in the web

Soon Lee https://file770.com/?p=28284&cpage=1#comment-417342

Two Pixels diverged in a Scroll, and I
I took the one less traveled by,

rea https://file770.com/?p=28284&cpage=1#comment-417454

Whan that Aprille, with hise pixels soote,
The scroll of March hath perced to the roote . . .

Jack Lint https://file770.com/?p=28284&cpage=1#comment-417441

Scroll Season!
Pixel Season!

Kip W. https://file770.com/?p=28284&cpage=1#comment-417443

Come file with me and read my scroll
And we shall prove the pixels droll
That Hugos, books, shows, and things,
Fans and working writers brings.

And we will crawl about the Net
And hear of famous folk we’ve met
And if your joy be piqued to stroll
Come file with me and read my scroll.

Jack Lint https://file770.com/?p=28284&cpage=1#comment-417448

In the middle of the web in the land of Glyer
Lives a brave little pixel whom we all admire.

…

I’ll just stop here as I’m not even sure if Glyer and admire rhyme.

Steve Wright https://file770.com/?p=28284&cpage=1#comment-417452

A Glyer who bore, ‘mid snow and ice
A pixel with the scroll device
Excelsior!

Jim Henley https://file770.com/?p=28284&cpage=1#comment-417464

Downward to pixels on extended scrolls.
For the Scroll’s more full of pixels
Than you can understand.

The Scroll That Through the Vile Hive Drives the Pixel.
The scroll of pixels isn’t hard to master.
Pixel is Scroll; Scroll, Pixel. That
Is all ye file and all ye need to file.

The apparition of these pixels in the scroll:
Items in a vile, long File.
Before I’d build a pixel
I’d ask what I was scrolling in or out.

Stoic Cynic https://file770.com/?p=28284&cpage=1#comment-417470

@Mike Glyer
I can recognize a rhyme, it’s meter that always gets my goat

Well you know what they say:

Don’t do the rhyme if you can’t do the time….

Will R. https://file770.com/?p=28284&cpage=1#comment-417476

Oh Pixel, My Pixel (from the Dead Scrollers Society).

Stoic Cynic https://file770.com/?p=28284&cpage=1#comment-417481

I blame @Will R:

O PIXEL! my Pixel! our fearful trip is done;
The scroll has weathered every troll, the talk we sought is won;
The Hugo is near, Worldcon I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady File, the website bright and daring:
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where in ‘older posts’ my pixel lies,
Fallen cold, unread.

Greg Hullender https://file770.com/?p=28284&cpage=2#comment-417489

Pixels, pixels everywhere
And all the scrolls did link.
Pixels, pixels everywhere
Nor any pup to think.
(From “The Rime of the Ancient Filerscum.”

Stoic Cynic https://file770.com/?p=28284&cpage=2#comment-417508

Where there’s a slate, there’s a way!
Where there’s a slate, there’s a way!
Where there’s a slate…

We want to vote the straight ticket today,
But Space Butt Raptor seems just so… outre’
We’re gonna gambit that gambit all day

Where there’s a slate, there’s a way!
Left, Right.
(LEFT?!? WHO LET THAT SJW IN HERE! SKIN HIM!!!) *clangs, shouts, singing resumes*
Where there’s a slate, there’s a way

Right, right.
Right, right.
Right, right.

—

With apologies to Rankin Bass

 

Peace Is My Middle Name https://file770.com/?p=22527&cpage=5#comment-262347:

This is last year’s, but still …

The Puppies is a slate, ma lads, for the Hugo Prize she’s bound,
And the quay it is aa garnished wi bonnie fanboyz round.
Captain Torgersen he orders tae vote the Puppies high,
He’ll fetch himself a Hugo, lads, or know the reason why.

Chorus

And it’s cheer up, ma lads, let yer hearts fill wi hate.
When the Sad and Rabid Puppies nab the Hugos for the slate.

Along the quays at Puppyheim the fanboys stand aroond,
Their angst all pulled aboot them and the salt tears rinnin doon.

Oh, don’t you weep, my bonnie Pups, though ye’ll be left behind.
For the Beale will pal wi’ Scalzi, before we change our mind.

Here’s a health tae the Son o’ Torger, likewise the John C. Wright,
Here’s a health tae the Monster Hunter, and the fans who fight the fight.

We wear the trenchcoats o the brown, an fedoras o the gray,
We’ll pack the slate wi Pups me lad, we cannae lose that way.

It’ll be bright baith day and night when the Puppy lads come hame,
Wi a load of Puppy Hugos, boys, and money tae oor name.

Like the ships all crushed in ice, me lads, while fishing for the whale,
We’ll try and try and try again until the Pups prevail.

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32 thoughts on “Filers Destroy Pixel Scroll”

  3. *blushes* I swear, I didn’t mean to start that tsunami….

    @Peace

    That sounds like something recited by Outlander’s Jamie Fraser.

  6. @Soon Lee: It was indeed, or at least for the two lines from that poem that I did. And coincidentally, that Waterboys’ number was where I first encountered the poem. Which is weird, considering just how into poetry I was for a 20-year period in which that poem fell.

  8. This is just to say
    I have scrolled
    the pixel
    that was on
    my screen.

    and which
    you were probably
    meaning
    to bookmark.

    forgive me
    it was the book recs
    so helpful
    and so funny

  9. Greg Hullender: Ask not for whom the pixel scrolls,
    It scrolls for thee.

    Or maybe “It scrolls for free”!

  10. The madness may descend upon me later, but for now, I simply want to follow the thread.

    *click*

  11. Or maybe “It scrolls for free”!

    Heh. That would be Dire Straits–

    (I want my
    I want my
    I want my pixels free)

    Look at them voters, that’s the way you do it
    You pick the Hugos on File Seventy
    That ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it
    Pixels for nothin’ and your scrolls for free

    That ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it
    Lemme tell ya, those Pups ain’t dumb
    Maybe make a slate with your middle finger
    Maybe get No Award on your thumb

    We gotta mock those SJW’s
    Custom insult deliveries
    We gotta move those genre goalposts
    We gotta make Nutty Nugget-ese

    [skips second homophobic verse]

    I shoulda learned to write that novel
    I shouda learned to shoot those guns
    Look at that Larry, he’s gonna stick it to the fans, man,
    And make us have some fun

    And who’s up there? What’s that? Rabid noises?
    Ted’s makin’ Aristotle like a chimpanzee
    Oh that ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it
    Pixels for nothin’ and your scrolls for free

    We gotta mock those SJW’s
    Custom insult deliveries
    We gotta move those genre goalposts
    We gotta make Nutty Nugget-ese

    Listen here
    That ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it
    You pick the Hugos on File Seventy
    That ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it
    Pixels for nothin’ and your scrolls for free

    (I want my
    I want my
    I want my pixels free….)

    (Sorry, I think Mark Knopfler and Sting are modern-day poets)

  12. Oh, no, I am not going to get *that song* out of my head for days.

  13. For years I’ve suffered with my “poetry”-now it’s your turn!

    Filers cheer’d me as I read,
    Comments funny and engaging;
    Rhymes and filks dance in my head
    All with Puppies still a-raging.
    Some are Rabid, some are Sad,
    Some with Puppy spray just miss’d me,
    Of this I’ve grown tired, but add,
    Filers cheer’d me.

    I’ll go back to the corner now.

  14. I get no kick from campaigns
    Sad vitriol doesn’t thrill me at all
    So tell me what should I do
    So I get a prize out of you

    Not much of a poem, true, but it is a song by Scroll Porter…

    (ok, I’ll get me coat)

  15. Ah, a “Jenny Kissed Me” reference!

    I love the commenters here.

  17. @Mike Glyer

    Greg Hullender: Ask not for whom the pixel scrolls,
    It scrolls for thee.

    Or maybe “It scrolls for free”!

    I have heard the pixels scrolling, each to each.
    I do not think that they will scroll for free.

    🙂

  18. I have no business posting in a poetry thread, but I do have a Chinese Crested Dog in my lap, while a Shih Tzu and a cockapoo have the zoomies all around us.

    Note: The Shih Tzu is not quite two years old, and entitled to her puppy energy, but the cockapoo is not quite fifteen!

  19. Greg Hullender: I have heard the pixels scrolling, each to each.
    I do not think that they will scroll for free.

    Whew! Time to wave the white flag!

  20. They call it scrolling the Pixel: it is perfectly simple
    If you have any mojo in your laptop: like the vote
    And the website, the recommendations, and the box of ticky,
    Which in our case we have not checked; and the related works
    Blinking blandly from the screen and the vanished ballot scrolling inside scrolls,
    For today we have the nomming of works.

  21. I don’t know what Kip’s rewriting there, but I like it. Particularly “and the box of ticky, Which in our case we have not checked”.

    Now you will excuse me as I have 80s electric guitar licks running around in my brain (like unto the various small animals of Lis Carey) thanks to Bonnie.

  23. I saw the best scrollers of my generation annoyed by puppies, posting hysterical and wretched, dragging themselves through the vile hive at dawn looking for an angry post.

  25. I was toying with ‘Hixely pixely scroll’ but I couldn’t get past the first line.

  26. Hixely pixely scroll
    The filer’s on a roll
    She out and said
    Just what she’d read
    Undaunted by the troll.

  27. So…it isn’t specifically a File770 poem, but here’s one I wrote a long time ago in which the word “file” features very prominently.

    Oh once I had a small glass jar that some might call a vial.
    It was so neat and pretty that it always made me smile.
    And yet it was quite empty, until I said, “I know!”
    “I have a little instrument that needs a place to go!”

    It was made of wood and it had strings, a viol, very small.
    Though once inside the bottle it could not be played at all.
    I gathered more of them but they got lost so easily,
    That I took a rasp and filed on each a letter A to Z.

    I set them all in order and filed them away
    Within a box, but got them out to look at every day.
    That box was like an altar; that box was like a shrine,
    I worshipped all those bottles with their instruments so fine.

    Yet as time passed the bottles started rotting, and to smell,
    And I said, “This vile odor is not heaven, it is hell!”
    And though I loved them still, my nose had the final say,
    Though it seemed like desecration, I must throw them all away.

    And so it comes to happen, though I’m really not sure how,
    I’m defiling vile filed viol vial files now.

  29. I think it’s the pause before the raucous applause, myself. [cheers, and also flings peanuts 888888888888 ]

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