Pixel Scroll 12/9 The Flounce On The Doorstep

(1) MST3K+PO. Patton Oswalt has agreed to join Mystery Science Theater 3000 as the Forrester’s newest Evil Henchman, TV’s Son of TV’s Frank. Joel Hodgson explains:

I first became aware of Patton around fourteen years ago, when he was doing “commentary” for the MTV Awards – live in the room during the event! I realized right away he was a kindred spirit, and damn funny too. Since then, obviously, he’s bloomed into this amazing comedy/internet dynamo, and I’ve gotta tell you: I’ve seen a lot of stand-ups over the years, but – no lie – Patton really is one of the best ever. And just as important, he’s a very fun, articulate and witty soul – just the kind of person who we’ve always tried to bring onboard for MST3K.

That’s probably why, when I started putting together my dream roster of special “guest writers” for the next season of MST3K, the idea of Patton kept coming back to me. I knew he was a Mystery Science Theater fan from way back – he even moderated our 20th Anniversary Reunion panel at San Diego Comic-Con)–and I thought he’d be terrific at writing riffs. Then I started to wonder if he might be a good fit on camera, too.

Remember last week, how I said my creative process usually starts with visuals, and then I work backward? Well, in this case, I first imagined Patton dressed up like TV’s Frank. I figured maybe he’d be Frank’s son, or at least a clone. But yeah: the idea of Patton wearing black lab assistant’s garb, with a big mound of silver hair and a spitcurl…? It was just really funny to me, in a visual / cross-referential / meta kind of way.

(2) HIGH CASTLE. Marc Haefele, once the editor for some of Philip K. Dick’s later books from Doubleday, praised Amazon’s The Man in the High Castle on an NPR affiliate’s show “Off-Ramp.” BEWARE MINOR SPOILERS.

Juliana (Alexa Davalos) — Frink’s estranged wife in the book, his girlfriend in the series — was that rarest of Dick characters, a strong, positive, effective woman. She is even more so on the screen. The substitution of various film reels for the original fictional novel McGuffin generally works, albeit there seem to be a few too many abandoned operating 16 mm projectors left around.

And there are some clunkers. Like when the Nazi elevated monorail from which-side-is-he-on Nazi/underground operative Joe Blake (Luke Kleintank) descends bears the label “U-Bahn.” Whoops, that’s a subway folks. The elevated is an “S-Bahn.” Or why is “Mack the Knife,” a song by a Communist  (Bertolt Brecht) and a Jew (Kurt Weill), being  sung at an otherwise terrifyingly well-imagined Aryan Victory Day picnic in occupied Long Island?

(3) BEST STAR WARS MOVIE. Michael J. Martinez marches on: his Star Wars rewatch has reached movie #5 — “Star Wars wayback machine: The Empire Strikes Back”.

In this rewatch, we have the crown jewel of the entire saga: The Empire Strikes Back. Pretty much everything we love about Star Wars is front-and-center here, and this one stands up to the test of time as well as any classic film you can think of. Yes, it’s as good as I remembered.

(4) FICTIONAL HISTORY. Jonathan Nield delivers “A defense of historical fiction” at Pornokitsch.

…Perhaps this introduction may be most fitly concluded by something in the nature of apology for Historical Romance itself. Not only has fault been found with the deficiencies of unskilled authors in that department, but the question has been asked by one or two critics of standing – What right has the Historical Novel to exist at all? More often than not, it is pointed out, the Romancist gives us a mass of inaccuracies, which, while they mislead the ignorant (i.e., the majority?), are an unpardonable offence to the historically-minded reader. Moreover, the writer of such Fiction, though he be a Thackeray or a Scott, cannot surmount barriers which are not merely hard to scale, but absolutely impassable. The spirit of a period is like the selfhood of a human being – something that cannot be handed on; try as we may, it is impossible for us to breathe the atmosphere of a bygone time, since all those thousand-and-one details which went to the building up of both individual and general experience, can never be reproduced….

(5) RIDING HIGH IN APRIL, SHOT DOWN IN MAY. We all have those days.

(6) BURSTEIN IN TRANSLATION. Michael A. Burstein had a short story in a recent issue of the Chinese prozine Science Fiction World.

I am pleased to announce that my short story “The Soldier WIthin” has been translated and published in the November 2015 issue of [Chinese characters]. (In English, the magazine is known as Science Fiction World.) This is my first time having a story translated into Chinese or published in China. I’d like to thank Joe Haldeman for having purchased the story for the anthology Future Weapons of War back in 2007, and the editor of SF World, Dang Xiaoyu (I hope I have that right), for choosing to reprint the story .

In theory, this means the story will be read by approximately 1 million people in China. That would make it the most widely read story of mine.

(7) THE BILLIONS NOBODY WANTED. Remember when no film buyers wanted Star Wars for their theater chains? Me neither. But several swear it happened in “’Star Wars’ Flashback: When No Theater Want to Show the Movie in 1977”, an article from The Hollywood Reporter.

LENIHAN I was 23 and booking country towns in Northern California for United Artists, which also owned the Coronet Theatre in San Francisco. I tease Travis all the time that the only time I ever won was when he picked The Deep for a theater in Redding, Calif., while I picked Star Wars. On opening day at the Coronet, there were lines around the block. It played there until Close Encounters of the Third Kind opened in December, and we were still hitting our holdover numbers.

(8) FAMOUS COSTUMES. The “Star Wars and the Power of Costume” exhibit will be moving to Denver where it will run from November 13, 2016-April 2, 2017.

Included in the show’s 60 costumes, which will be displayed in the museum’s Hamilton Building Anschutz and McCormick galleries, are such classics as Princess Leia’s bikini, Darth Vader’s menacing black uniform, and the royal red gown Queen Amidala (Natalie Portman) wore in 1999’s ” Star Wars: Phanton Menace.”

In addition to featuring costumes and conceptual art, the exhibit includes videos with designers, actors and George Lucas talking about the creative process.

(9) UNHEARD OF. New York Magazine discovered it takes less than 90 seconds to repeat all the dialogue spoken by women other than Princess Leia in the entire original Star Wars trilogy.

(10) STAR CHOW. And if that doesn’t give you a case of Star Wars-related indigestion, here’s a couple more things to try.

You’ll need:
Donut holes
12 ounces white candy melts
Black icing
Blue icing
Orange Icing
Lollipop sticks

 

When it comes to setting up a holiday dinner table, why not make it more festive by incorporating Star Wars! Flavored butter can be made to be savory or sweet. Pumpkin Spice and Cranberry orange butters are warm and seasonal and taste great with breads and scones. Garlic Herb and Sriracha Lime have a kick that goes well with crackers and sandwiches made of leftovers.

By shaping them into stormtrooper helmets the butter becomes a unique and fun way to add Star Wars to your traditional holiday meal.

(11) HOLY ANDY WARHOL! Or failing that, an entire line of Campbell’s products in Star Wars-themed cans.

star wars campbell soup cans COMP

(12) HOUSE CALL. Should you need an antidote, try paging through Dining With The Doctor: The Unauthorized Whovian Cookbook by Chris-Rachael Oseland.

Your taste buds are about to take a wibbly wobbly, timey wimey adventure through the 2005 Doctor Who reboot. Megafan and food writer Chris-Rachael Oseland spent a year rewatching all of series one through six and experimenting in her kitchen to bring you a fresh recipe for every single episode. There are recipes in here for every level of cook. If you’re terrified of the kitchen, there are things so simple even Micky the Idiot couldn’t get them wrong. For the experienced chefs, there are advanced fish and beef dishes that wouldn’t be amiss on the Starship Titanic. Along the way, you’ll also find plenty of edible aliens to decorate the table at your next Doctor Who viewing party.

This book is a treat for any Whovian who wants to offer more than a plate of fish fingers and a bowl of custard at your next viewing party. Want to host an elegant dinner party to show off your new Tardis corset? Start the evening with a Two Streams Garden Cocktail followed by Baked Hath, Marble Cucumber Circuits with Vesuvian Fire Dipping Sauce, Professor Yana’s Gluten Neutrino Map Binder, Slitheen Eggs, and some of Kazran’s Night Sky Fog Cups for dessert.

(13) PARODY. Ed Fortune wrote and produced a homage to the world of sci-fi fandom called This Is Not The Actor You Are Looking For, the story of an actor from a popular movie franchise with a confession to make.

(14) THEY MIGHT BE. The BFG official trailer #1. A girl named Sophie encounters the Big Friendly Giant who, despite his intimidating appearance, turns out to be a kindhearted soul who is considered an outcast by the other giants because unlike his peers refuses to eat boys and girls.

(15) INSTANT CLASSIC. Kyra’s lyrics to “Old Man Zombie”

Old man zombie,
That old man zombie,
He don’t say nothing
But won’t stop moving —
He just keeps shambling
He just keeps shambling along.

It might be fungal,
It might be viral,
We might be trapped in
A downward spiral,
But old man zombie
He just keeps shambling along.

You and me, we sweat and swear,
Body all aching and racked with fear,
Bar that door!
Hide that pit!
I wandered off alone
And I just got bit.

I’m infected
Your brain I’m eyeing,
I’m scared of living
And tired of dying,
I’m old man zombie
And just keep shambling along!

[Thanks to John King Tarpinian, and Hampus Eckerman for some of these stories. Title credit goes to File 770 contributing editor of the day Josh Jasper.]

239 thoughts on “Pixel Scroll 12/9 The Flounce On The Doorstep

  1. @ Standback
    You’ve convinced me to put the Mar/Apr F&SF high on my list. I hadn’t noticed a rec for it before this.
    Also, I just started an account with Goodreads, but haven’t put in much info or any reviews yet. Plus with stories like Peace’s and others I’m a bit less motivated to put in the effort. Here’s my account
    Goodreads

    @ Meredith
    Good to have you back, you were missed!

    @ Kyra and Camestros
    Bravo to both your genre lists!

    @ Peace
    Loooooved that youtube channel, subscribed. Love the snark. Will peruse all her videos at leisure.

  2. I acknowledge the many problems that Goodreads has as a review repository, but I’m going to make a small plea from another point of view. While there are a lot of smaller review repositories (and, of course, many individual review sites), one can’t ignore that Amazon and Goodreads are the two major places people go to get a sense of whether a book is worth reading.

    Amazon plays facebook-type games with weighting and even hiding reviews, based on the extent to which they value the reviewer. (Reviews get downgraded or even hidden if the book wasn’t purchased through the site.) Goodreads, for all its problems, treats all reviewers and raters as equally worthy. (This is, of course, one of its problems.) For books with large distribution, the more toxic ends of the review spectrum disappear in the vast sea of ratings. But books with smaller distributions instead get caught up in the same swamp as the aforementioned self-published works (but without the benefit of having an authorial fan-posse pumping them up).

    Visibility is important, and for what it’s worth, Goodreads can provide a useful long tail of visibility. It’s also useful for linking an author’s works together in a single place. I know that I’ve discovered books and authors by clicking through on interesting reviews and “may also like” links. And I find Goodreads a much more useful place to get honest opinions about less-popular books than Amazon is. (In my experience, if a small-distribution book has 5 reviews on Amazon, they’ll all be 5 star with very little critical content to the reviews, whereas 5 Goodreads reviews will include at least one or two people willing to say why it didn’t work for them.)

  3. Yay, had missed you were back, Meredith! Excellent, had waited for that so I could start next movie bracket. Couldn’t do it without you! Will start nomination round tomorrow then.

  4. I’ve sent requests to all who posted GR accounts. I’ve accepted all GR filers.

    @Heather Rose Jones
    Great points. I also find Goodreads to be helpful on series and reading order including discussions on why one reading order over another. I’ve been part of some fantastic groups when I had more energy.

    Another advantage is the link between Amazon and Kindle and Goodreads and FB, Twitter, and someday my blog. When it’s working it lets me mark a book as want to read when I buy it, currently reading when I start reading it on kindle or kindle apps, and rate it when done on kindle, or rate and review on kindle apps. And it shares that information with Twitter and FB, and when I get my blog working properly it will automatically post my reviews. This way I’m able to let my friends know I’m alive, what I’m reading, promote authors and books, all while being quite lazy which is helpful for someone with limited energy.

  5. Grimdark fantasy: it is half a day’s march across a battlefield of torn bodies
    High fantasy: it is three leagues hence over yonder battlefiled
    Urban fantasy: it’s 9 miles that way through a rough goblin neighborhood
    Steampunk: it’s 8 thousand fathoms past the clockwork dirigibles!
    Science fantasy: it’s nearly 15 kilometers through the Empire’s laser cannons
    Mil-SF: It is over 14 klicks through the bug-controled zone
    Hard-SF: 14.4841km’s to our destination

    Space fantasy: 12 parsecs. Less if you’re fast.

  6. Saving space on the Kindle will only make it fill again faster. Wishlisting, buying and downloading books takes a lot less time than actually reading them…

    When my TBR pile grew to life-threatening dimensions, and my Kindle TBR “pile” was starting to equal it, I changed the rules.

    If it’s an e-book I’m not going to read immediately, it can stay in the Wishlist until I’m ready to read it. It’s not likely to vanish on me.

    If it’s a print book I’m not going to read immediately, it too can stay in the Wishlist, unless it’s one of those books that’s likely to have a short availability curve, in which case I’ll buy it.

    Amazon (and other such places) can store the books I want to read, I’ll store the money instead. I make exceptions for things like Torsday, e-book bargains and books by friends I want to financially support (although they tend to be read-it-immediatelys anyway).

    If my existing TBR pile ever gets small enough for me to feel insecure, I can revisit this policy, but as it stands, there are enough new books I want to read swiftly (via e-book, print purchase or library borrow) that they account for more than half my reading time and the TBR pile shrinks only slowly.

    But my Wishlist is now over 200 books tall, and it’s not going to topple over and crush me in the night…

  7. @Hampus

    Oh, that’s so sweet! I’d been dreading checking because I’d assumed I’d missed it! <3<3

  8. I think I would have real problems with audiobooks, for two reasons:

    I have hearing loss, and my balance is completely screwed.

    Thus, following a series of tests demonstrating these facts earlier in the week, it became obvious that since my inner ear cannot be repaired, my brain has to be retrained both to deal with more sound using hearing aids, after decades of adaptation to less sound.

    The second is to make the balance organs, other than those in the inner ear, work better: at the moment large amounts of my brain is working to keep me upright, but not efficiently. There are much better things my brain could be doing, but brains have a mind of their own.

    Sight is the major support system; I can balance fairly easily if I try very hard, but if I close my eyes I’m in deep doodah. So there you are, trying to balance on a moving platform, surrounded by panels which are also moving, endeavouring to stay on the bucking bronco for at least 2 seconds, and I doubt lasted one.

    The worst tests, for me, were revolving and rotating whilst attempting to announce 3 names for each letter in the alphabet. That was bad, but geography was similar.

    I finally worked out a way by asking that they run the same test, only this time using maths questioning. Despite the weirdness (for some strange reason they seem to think maths is too hard) they agreed, and then that was OK; I was faster replying than she could finish the question, whilst we span merrily around the equipment.

    This suggests to me that processing sound, in some one like me, is difficult; audiobooks are probably beyond my reach, at least for the present. I’m relying on Filers to alert me should something good turn out.

  9. Stevie, that’s one of the best reasons I’ve ever heard for not wanting to try audiobooks. Here’s hoping treatment brightens things.

  10. @JJ

    😀 I’m looking forward to getting caught up on the short story discussion thread. I’m going to terribly late but oh well, people ticky’d. I’m sure they won’t mind me filling their inboxes up. Much. 😀

  11. I like listening to audiobooks when I’m doing something that occupies my hands and eyes but not my mind, like cooking or dishes or knitting. A few favorites:

    Cabin Pressure (written by John Finnemore, featuring him and Stephanie Cole, Roger Allam, and Benedict Cumberbatch), about the misadventures of a small charter airline (yes, yes, technically one can’t call it an airline, since a line requires at least two points, so really one should call it an airdot…)

    John Finnemore’s Souvenir Programme. A few favorite sketches: Churchill and the cats (alt history!) The Supermongers. Jekyll and Hyde. And The man who makes the noise of the TARDIS.

    How to Live: Or a Life of Montaigne in One Question and Twenty Attempts at an Answer (which will likely lead to purchasing the 50-hour Complete Essays of Montaigne).

    @junego: also, if you buy ebooks from Amazon, many offer a significantly discounted price on the audiobook version (usually less than $5).

    @kathodus: you’re reading Scarlet Pimpernel for the first time? Ooh, you have a treat in store. If you like it and want to watch a dramatization, the Anthony Andrews version is (IMO) by far the best. (Don’t watch the trailer; it’s spoileriffic and makes the movie seem dull.)

    Applause for both Kyra and Camestros.

  12. [previous meaningful comment in purgatory due to too many links to audiobooks and examples on YouTube…]

  13. @Kurt Busiek (parsecs): LOL.

    @Kurt Busiek (TBR rules): Very sensible, and probably something I should do. I go through phases of buying a lot less, just adding to wish lists, etc., but then I can’t resist and . . . boom! Oh look, a shipment from Amazon, or oh look, new books on my iPad. But my wish lists (and “books to look into” lists) are pretty big, so I guess I’m treading water. 😉

    It doesn’t help that I’m the one that does most of the online buying (spouse: “can you buy XYZ” me: “sure, uh, gee need a bit more for free shipping…I’ll add a book or two”). 😉 Are other households like this? I usually handle Kickstarter, Amazon, Audible, et al., even for the other half’s stuff. Is this weird/unusual?

  14. Lexica: if you buy ebooks from Amazon, many offer a significantly discounted price on the audiobook version (usually less than $5)

    Amazon has a program called Whispersync which is a great deal for readers (but not, I suspect, such a great deal for authors and audiobook narrators). If you go to the Kindle Audible Matchmaker page, you can buy companion e-books to many of your Kindle e-books, a lot of them for $1.99-$2.99.

    I’m on Open Road Media’s Early Bird mailing list, and they give out a freebie e-book (including many classics, in Kindle, Apple, Nook, Google, Indiebound, and Kobo format) every weekday. I have the ability to purchase matching audiobooks for these, usually for $1.99-$2.99.

    Wil Wheaton reading Redshirts: $3.99.
    Seanan McGuire’s October Daye series, read by Mary Robinette Kowal: $3.99 each
    GRRM’s Song of Ice and Fire books: $12.99 each

  15. @JJ: I will regret clicking to sign up for Open Road’s mailing list (mostly-unrelated, I wish their “open” name actually described their DRM practices). 😉 Thanks for the info.

  16. @ Kendall, Lexica & JJ

    Thanks for all the info on audio books. I’ll check your links out!

    @ Kendall
    No, it’s not weird to divide areas of responsibility between partners. I used to handle all the online stuff. Now I just handle most of it. I do finances, he does the gardening, etc.

  17. @junego: Yaaaaay! It’s always great when a recommendation catches somebody’s interest. Hope you enjoy 🙂

    @all: Hooray for all the GR links! I think I’ve friended everybody who shared theirs; if I missed anybody, my link again is https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/7887980-standback .

    @Peace: Wow; I completely didn’t think of things like plopping your books on lists. I feel very provincial all of a sudden. The internet can be a cesspool, and I’m sorry GR is one of them :-/

  18. It doesn’t help that I’m the one that does most of the online buying (spouse: “can you buy XYZ” me: “sure, uh, gee need a bit more for free shipping…I’ll add a book or two”). ? Are other households like this? I usually handle Kickstarter, Amazon, Audible, et al., even for the other half’s stuff. Is this weird/unusual?

    While my husband handles the finances I do most of the online shopping and when healthy offline. He checks with me to see if he can buy book(s)/Kickstarter *shakes head*. I don’t think it’s unusual. Each household figures out who is comfortable and capable of doing what. The hope is neither party ends up doing the majority of the work or feels like they get all the yucky jobs.

    @Kurt Busiek those TBR guidelines are good ones. They wouldn’t work for me as I like to have a large library at my fingertips at all times but your way makes much more sense than my 6k+ and growing ebook library. 😉

    Open Road leaves me with mixed feelings. I like the way they help authors bring backlist back. I think they could give authors a better royalty* given they aren’t doing much for cover art, ebook only, and it’s backlist so it’s scan/proofread/format, not major risk as new book. They don’t seem to be doing much to get the books back in print format. They work well with “layperson reviewers”. They do good marketing/promotion and competitive pricing.

    *I believe their basic contract is 60 them/40 author. I could be wrong/misinformed/out-of-date

  19. @junego & @Tasha Turner: Thanks, I feel less weird now. 😉 Some things, I just get so used to, then one day I wonder “wait, what do other people do?”. . . .

  20. Kendall:

    @Kurt Busiek (TBR rules): Very sensible, and probably something I should do. I go through phases of buying a lot less, just adding to wish lists, etc., but then I can’t resist and . . . boom! Oh look, a shipment from Amazon, or oh look, new books on my iPad. But my wish lists (and “books to look into” lists) are pretty big, so I guess I’m treading water. ?

    I still have a hefty influx of books. Today, we stopped by a Bernes & Noble to pass the time. Only bought one book there — a Mercedes Lackey MMPB Ann wanted to read — but Katie found a BN-exclusive MAZE RUNNER HC, so we ordered a nonexclusive HC from Amazon for about half the price. And I’d already ordered the e-book of BENEATH AN OIL-DARK SEA by Caitlin R. Kieran because I should read it and it’s only $6.99 and the previous volume has no Kindle edition and the print edition is ridiculous pricey so better get it now.

    So. Three more books just today, even with my system. And two or three more on the Wishlist.

    It doesn’t help that I’m the one that does most of the online buying (spouse: “can you buy XYZ” me: “sure, uh, gee need a bit more for free shipping…I’ll add a book or two”). ? Are other households like this? I usually handle Kickstarter, Amazon, Audible, et al., even for the other half’s stuff. Is this weird/unusual?

    We get Amazon Prime, for the free shipping, so it makes sense to have it all in one account. So I do the vast majority of the online buying too.

    @Kurt Busiek those TBR guidelines are good ones. They wouldn’t work for me as I like to have a large library at my fingertips at all times but your way makes much more sense than my 6k+ and growing ebook library. ?

    Oh, I have a large library all around me; this house is busting with books, and there’ve got to be several hundred I haven’t read yet. That’s why I put the brakes on.

    Plus, with a Kindle, new books are just a download away, so my fear of being caught bookless is assuaged.

  21. Plus, with a Kindle, new books are just a download away, so my fear of being caught bookless is assuaged.

    I’m wifi only and it’s amazing the number of times I’ve been without Internet in my house as well as waiting rooms. I’ve gone way past what kindle & iPad can hold.

    The last 2 iOS upgrades for the iPad did all sorts of strange things with syncing and I had to cut way back on both music and books. I hear I’m probably getting a new iPad with 128GB soon so my husband can take my old one with him on his trip to India for email and web access. Prior to iOS upgrade problems I was able to have ~5k books and 1/3 of my music library on 64GB iPad 2.

  22. Kurt Busiek:

    “Plus, with a Kindle, new books are just a download away, so my fear of being caught bookless is assuaged.”

    Abibliophobia. Me has it too.

  23. @Kurt + @Hampus Eckerman = LOL at the fear of booklessness/abibliophobia. Now I know what to call my condition! I’m sure my spouse will understand. 😉

  24. @ Hampus

    Oh, thank you. Thank You! :sob: Now I know what this terrible fear that I’ve had all my life’s called. Abibliophobia – and Kurt has the perfect treatment for it. :-9

  25. Bruce Baugh: I had no idea about the Matchmaker page! Thank you!

    I’m so glad you found it helpful. I guess I didn’t go on to make the concluding statement, which is: If there’s a book you really want on audiobook, and you can get the Kindle version on sale, that price + the Matchmaker price will likely be significantly less expensive than just the Audible version on its own — and you will end up owning the book in both formats, as a bonus.

  26. @JJ: this is part of why I keep having trouble using my credits. If I can get a book in both formats, I want to do that. But if I can get an audiobook for $2.99 because of Matchbook pricing, I’m certainly not going to waste a credit on it.

  27. Lexica: this is part of why I keep having trouble using my credits. If I can get a book in both formats, I want to do that. But if I can get an audiobook for $2.99 because of Matchbook pricing, I’m certainly not going to waste a credit on it.

    I can understand that. The full-price Audible books are expensive, and you would only want to use your credits for those if you don’t have any less-expensive options for a book.

  28. Oh, and while we’re at it, Amazon also has Matchbook, a similar program where you can get a huge discount on the matching Kindle e-book for the books you’ve bought in dead-tree format.

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