Pixel Scroll 5/29/17 The Time Has Come, The Pixel Said, To Talk Of Many Scrolls

(1) TO THE MAX. George R.R. Martin’s never-produced Christmas script for Max Headroom finally came to life — at the Jean Cocteau Theatre: “Merry Xmas to All, and to All a Good Max”.

Our week-long M-M-Maxathon concluded on Satuday night at the Jean Cocteau with a staged table reading of “Xmas,” my thirty-year-old unproduced (until now) MAX HEADROOM script. And I have to say, we went out on a high note. We had a sold-out theatre, and the audience seemed to enjoy every moment of the performance, laughing and applauding at all the right places. After thirty years, I was not at all sure how well my old script would hold up… especially with an audience of Max Headroom fanatics, many of whom had just sat through an entire week of Max, watching every one of the produced episodes. MAX HEADROOM was a really smart show, with some fine writing… tough acts to follow. But most of the viewers seemed to think “Xmas” was just as good as what had gone before, which gratified me no end…

 

(2) SUPER SNIT. There was some huffing and puffing at the London Comic Con between a pair of famous actors although no blows were actually struck, no matter the New York Post’s headline — “Flash Gordon and The Hulk fight at Comic Con”.

It was a real-life battle of the superheroes at a comic fest over the weekend — when Hulk actor Lou Ferrigno got into a brawl with “Flash Gordon” star Sam Jones, and fans had to jump in and break them up.

“I don’t know if I was the real superhero, because if there was a clash of the Titans, I would have got squashed,” said Darryn Clements, who stepped in to help separate the musclebound actors at London’s ComicCon on Saturday, according to the Sun.

In fact, the duo were back at their adjoining tables the next day peaceably signing for fans.

(3) TROLL PATROL. A Twitter troll prompted a question during an MSNBC interview: “George Takei shuts down racist criticism of new “Star Trek’ series”.

“People are finding the time to hate on “Star Trek’ for having diversity,” host Joy Reid prompted. “What?”

“Well you know — today, in this society, we have alien life-forms that we call trolls,” Takei replied.

He explained: “And these trolls carry on without knowing what they’re talking about and knowing even less about the history of what they’re talking about. And some of these trolls go on to be presidents of nations.”

(4) URSINE DESIGN. I don’t know why this surprises me. Build-A-Bear offers a whole flock of Star Wars-themed products, including Darth Vader Bear.

Never underestimate the power of the dark side. Our exclusive Darth Vader Bear comes with his signature helmet, cape and control chest panel, permanently attached. Complete your destiny and add Darth Vader’s iconic Breathing Sound, Imperial March Song and his red Lightsaber.

(5) THE (DONUT) HOLE TRUTH. Scott Edelman writes: “Yes, I know, the William F. Nolan episode of Eating the Fantastic was only released Friday — but I couldn’t resist bringing live this donut celebration of Balticon as it was ending, to assuage the sadness of the guests who’d have to wait another year to return — Eating the Fantastic — 13 guests devour 12 donuts and reminisce about 51 years of Balticon.”

Since last July’s Readercon Donut Spectacular episode of Eating the Fantastic has proven to be so popular, I thought I’d try harvesting memories about another long-running con, and so plopped myself down in a high-traffic area of the Balticon hotel with a dozen Diablo Donuts. But first, I shared this photo on social media so the hungry hordes would know to be on the lookout for me.

(6) UNRAVELING THE SLEEVE OF CARE. Camestros Felapton, recognizing the world’s hunger for quality writing advice, nevertheless has decided to let them starve a little longer — “If You Want to Write a Book, Write Every Third 5 Minute Interval in a Period of 15 Minutes, Also Never Sleep”.

Here at Felapton Towers and via our leading Science Fiction/Fantasy/Military History publishing arm Cattimothy House, we meet and train many aspiring authors — people who we’ve turned from mere robotic vacuum cleaners into leading voices in modern fiction. We’ve compiled all our experience and writing advice into this one article that WILL help you turn your dreams into a book!

So you are about to write a book? Remember, on the day you start, millions of others will be starting a book also. Worse, BILLIONS of people live on Earth and many of them are also capable of thinking about starting a novel. Bear in mind that approximately only SIX books are published each year and of those FOUR are guide books to Disneyland. In order for your book to be published, it has to be better than the books those several billion people on Earth might write. Most of those people have more interesting lives than you and also probably nicer personalities.

Lesson 1: You have to defeat your rivals. Your book has to be better than your rivals. Looking at that the odds, that implies you’d be best trying to sabotage them from finishing their book. But how? Well, articles like this can help! Find a blog, a writers group or maybe a popular online media organisation and instead of writing a book, write an article full of bad writing advice! BINGO! All those billions of rivals will read it, follow your advice and either write a terrible book or give up in exhaustion…

(7) TODAY’S BIRTHDAY BOY

  • Born May 29, 1889 — James Whale, who said: “A director must be pretty bad if he can’t get a thrill out of war, murder and robbery.”

(8) COMIC SECTON. Cat Eldridge recommends xkcd’s “Opening crawl”.

(9) HOW THE DRAGON ROLLS. Click to read Declan Finn’s recommendations for the Dragon Awards. Hey, you got to respect the guy’s frankness —

DISCLAIMER: I have not read all of the following. In some cases, I’ve had less and less time to read the more I write. And I’ve submitted to … a lot this year, so I’m a little all over the place. Also, there are some genres I just don’t read, usually. I tend to avoid Horror and Alternate History, even though there are some books that are going to change my mind (Brian Niemeier and Lou Antonelli, for example, for horror and Alt History, respectively). If you have thoughts or suggestions, then by all means, COMMENT. And now, UNLEASH THE DRAGONS

(10) WORDS & PICTURES. Joe Sherry resumes “Reading the Hugos: Graphic Story” at Nerds of a Feather.

We continue our Reading the Hugos series with a look at Graphic Story. I can’t help but compare a bit to the five finalists from last year’s ballot and only Invisible Republic would make the cut here. I was already impressed with Monstress, Saga, and Paper Girls as each collection was on my nominating ballot. Heck, I was impressed enough by Paper Girls to include both of the published collected editions on my ballot – so I was definitely glad to see the first book make the cut. Beyond that, this list is dominated by two publishers with an even split between Marvel and Image. Granting that these are generally some excellent books and were on my ballot, I still would have liked to have seen a wider variety of publisher’s on the list. I just can’t say specifically what because I’m not well read enough in what’s going on in comics today – which I would also guess might be the case of a lot of voters. Or maybe I’m just projecting. Either way, let’s get to this year’s finalists.

(11) FILMMAKER TEASES NEXT PROJECT. Popular Mechanics says “It’s Humans Versus Aliens in Neill Blomkamp’s New Sci-Fi Project” .

Teasing a new sci-fi studio called Oats Studios since April, Neill Blomkamp’s ready to show us what he has in store for his future sci-fi ambitions. A new trailer, released today, for a short film currently named “Volume 1” will stream on Steam “soon.” But while the particulars of the movie are lacking in detail, the trailer is nothing short of a top-notch sci-fi film.

 

(12) ONLY A MEMORY. Carl Slaughter recalls:

At age 27, Josh Trank became the youngest director to open a film at #1 with Chronicle. He was hired to direct a standalone Star Wars film and assigned to direct the Fantastic 4 reboot. The Fantastic 4 set was plagued with production problems and received a 9% Rotten Tomatoes rating. Lucasfilm fired him when Fantastic 4 controversies spilled onto the Internet. He has not been seen on the speculative front since.

 

[Thanks to JJ, John King Tarpinian, Scott Edelman, Cat Eldridge, and Carl Slaughter for some of these stories. Title credit goes to File 770 contributing editor of the day Cat Rambo.]

145 thoughts on “Pixel Scroll 5/29/17 The Time Has Come, The Pixel Said, To Talk Of Many Scrolls

  1. I don’t need to Google Silvia Moreno-Garcia, her book Signal to Noise is on my bookshelf.

    RevBob:

    Rev. Bob on May 31, 2017 at 9:28 am said:
    @IanP: (Hispanic SF actors)

    Can we count Danny Trejo yet, on the basis of Machete in Space? Or Cheech Marin, for his memorable bit parts in Ghostbusters and From Dusk Till Dawn?

    Well Danny Trejo should count for everything because he’s Danny Trejo, but he was in Duck Till Dawn as well and a number of other SFF stuff like Death Race, Spy Kids, Fallout, The Book of Life, Predators, etc.

    When it comes to movie roles and actors though El Santo’s starred in way more SFF films.

    Oscar Madison:

    I think I’ll check out of commenting here ever again. I don’t want to catch your disease.

    Despite the constant negative insults covfefe

  2. Im going to call myself the leading German voice of SF from now on. I doubt Del Arroz could name another German SF author without googling.

    On the same line of thought, Im also the German leading voice on Boardgames and dinosaur erotica.

  3. @Peer: I’m sorry, if we’re doing that, I gotta go with Cora as the leading German voice in SF. You, however, are clearly the leading German voice in board games. Let’s make it all games to simplify.

    Ursula V is, of course, the leading Wombat voice in SF, and the second-to-leading Ursula in SF.

  4. @lurkertype: Agreed. I dont want to come across as pretentious.

    File770 the leading voice in Brdbury news items!

  5. I was trying to limit myself to writers, but Guillermo del Toro has (co)written three novels–and, moreover, wrote the screenplay for Pan’s Labyrinth. I think he fully qualifies as a leading Hispanic voice in SF.

    And, of course, there’s Márquez and Borges, if we can count dead people.

  6. Oh, for German board games? I hate to say it, but without Googling, I can counteroffer Klaus Teuber, Uwe Rosenberg, and Friedemann Friese. (I did have to look at my shelves for a moment to remember one of those, and how to spell another.)

  7. Xtifr: Everyone who isnt Del Arroz is not allowed to answer…

    But Im willing to compromise and call myself the leading Boardgaming voice in SF. Or something.

  8. Hush, Xtifr, we’re not doing logic here.

    If we’re counting directors, how’s about Alfonso Cuarón (Harry Potter, Children of Men, Gravity)?

  9. @Peer: which is funny, because I wouldn’t have been able to come up with the name Del Arroz without Googling if he hadn’t shown up here himself. 😀

    eta: And I’ve been to a lot of Baycons.

  10. Can I be the leading clone voice in… well, not SF, because I’m not that grandiose… but maybe File770?

  11. Chican[o/a] and Hispanic are terms that can be very helpful. I never know what a proper, respectful term might be for people like my cousin’s wife’s family, who are Texans. They lived there before the Anglos started settling there.

    Luckily, I don’t have to use any labels on them, as they all have names.

  12. I’m pretty sure ducking won’t help against vampires.

    And since we’re talking about Dusk Till Dawn, how come no one has mentioned Robert Rodriguez yet?

  13. And JDA has just erupted into an epic rant about how everybody is being mean to him on his blog.

  14. Cora: And JDA has just erupted into an epic rant about how everybody is being mean to him on his blog.

    It’s quite bizarre. He seems to think that the fact that he’s being discussed because of his repeated lies and asshole behavior is somehow a positive endorsement for him. (And I note that the rant is once again liberally salted with more falsehoods.)

    What a twisted world he lives in.

  15. @JJ: if it works for Donald Trump, it ought to work for anyone, right? I see he even refers to File770 as a fake science fiction news site. I guess listing other hispanic SF/F authors and directors and such is considered by JDA as insulting to hispanics.

  16. I think Daniel José Older was mentioned in the first reply to answer JDA, probably a page before Malka Older was mentioned.

  17. JJ on May 31, 2017 at 4:20 pm said:

    Cora: And JDA has just erupted into an epic rant about how everybody is being mean to him on his blog.

    It’s quite bizarre. He seems to think that the fact that he’s being discussed because of his repeated lies and asshole behavior is somehow a positive endorsement for him. (And I note that the rant is once again liberally salted with more falsehoods.)

    What a twisted world he lives in.

    Wow. Yeah I don’t get it. He seems to go from jumping on intentionally misconstruing what someone said, making a big deal out of it, then angry when it’s pointed out, then acts like it’s all a joke and it’s all a good time right guys, then runs off to explain how people just hate him because of his politics instead of the previous points. Then he’ll ask those same people he did that to for a book review or mention. It’s like a weird mix of wanting to troll folks while legit wanting respect and to promote his work all at once and not understanding how all those can’t work together.

    It’s kind of sad. Hope he figures out you get back what you put out in life. Either way I think I’m done with talking about him, dude does enough damage to himself that assisting feels cruel.

  18. Personally, I think it’s the warped mindset of many of Trump’s supporters. They’ve been conditioned by the “news” they consume to believe that facts don’t matter, emotional appeals and innuendo and conspiracy theory confirm that their worldview must be right, and when Jon uses the term “fake news”, it’s clear to me that he’s internalized that message.

  19. He’s being incredibly disingenuous on Twitter and his blog, where something said here by one commenter turns into “File 770 said this” and “File 770 did that” and “File 770’s commenters”.

    And he and his followers seem to think that he now has File 770 “by the short hairs”… to do what, I have no idea.
    also that poem straight up admits that you’ve got them by the short hairs and they fucking know it lmao
    Their asspain has driven them mad.

    It’s just so incredibly bizarre. He reminds me of The Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

    Del Arroz: ‘Tis but a scratch!
    Filers: A scratch? Your arm’s off!
    Del Arroz: No, it isn’t.
    Filers: What’s that, then?
    Del Arroz: [after a pause] I’ve had worse.
    Filers: You liar!
    Del Arroz: Right, I’ll do you for that!
    Filers: You’ll what?
    Del Arroz: Come here!
    Filers: What are you gonna do, bleed on us?
    Del Arroz: I’m invincible!
    Filers: …You’re a loony. [goes back to talking about SFF books]

    Del Arroz: [calling after the Filers] Oh, oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what’s coming to you! I’ll bite your legs off!

  20. @David Goldfarb: a lot of love for Knizia, actually. It was almost a coin-flip whether I listed him or Friese. In the end, my deep love for Power Grid was the deciding factor in rounding out my list of three. 🙂

  21. Evidently Puppies, Trumpsters, and the rest of ’em think “any publicity is good publicity”.

    Just b/c it worked for Trump doesn’t mean it works for them. Let ’em come back when they inherit a fortune and a bunch of shady connections, have their own TV show, and a ton of Russian money.

    Other than that, bad publicity is bad.

    Perhaps it’s some childhood trauma? Not getting enough attention, so acting badly to get some, and internalizing that as a good thing. It’d go with their levels of emotional immaturity, lack of critical thinking, emotional lability, inability to parse simple sentences correctly, etc. Oh, and lying badly. I swear, I’ve known 4 year olds who could see the truth more clearly and construct less pitiful lies (still ridiculous, but less so).

  22. @JJ: “He’s being incredibly disingenuous on Twitter and his blog, where something said here by one commenter turns into “File 770 said this” and “File 770 did that” and “File 770’s commenters”.”

    Judging by the rant, he seems to think OGH orchestrates these comments, handing out assignments as if we were all gathered in some big bullpen somewhere, waiting to be told what to say. Right there in his first paragraph, for instance:

    File 770 had one of their contributors write a weird fan fiction poem about me.

    (Emphasis mine, of course.)

    For a self-professed Christian, he sure does love to bear false witness.

  23. Rev. Bob: [JDA] “File 770 had one of their contributors write a weird fan fiction poem about me.”

    That’s essentially true. I asked Camestros to adapt a comment he’d written into a more intentional parody of If You Give A Mouse a Cookie which I could run as a front page post.

    But you’re right that I don’t orchestrate the comments.

  24. Mike Glyer: I asked Camestros to adapt a comment he’d written into a more intentional parody of If You Give A Mouse a Cookie

    Ahhhhh… that’s what it was. I’m pretty sure that I’ve never read that book; it must not have been in my nieces’ and nephews’ libraries when they were little.

  25. “Fan fiction”. I do not think that word means what he thinks it means.

    So now it’s “weird”, but in both the comments on that post and on Camestros’ blog, he loved it, thought it was all jolly good fun?

    Either he’s lying now or he was lying then. Or both?

    Mike probably wishes he could orchestrate the comments. Think how much easier it would be for him! Instead, he’s gotta ride herd on all us SJW signifiers.

  26. Mike Glyer: But you’re right that I don’t orchestrate the comments.

    *snort* … which is no doubt much to your frustration, on many an occasion. 😉

  27. @OGH:

    That’s still quite different from the picture JDA paints of you coming up with an idea and farming it out to have someone Make It So. Camestros had the original idea and executed it on his own; you just asked him to tweak it for a different context. Not the same thing at all.

  28. I’m showing up late to get my comment assignment so I can participate in the next Del Arroz feeding frenzy. @Mike Glyer, the e-mail went astray; how can I know what vile thing to write without your instruction?! 😛

    @Matt Y: Many LOLs to you & various other Filers here.

    @Cassy B: You’re a clone?! ::gasp::

  29. @Cassy B: You’re a clone?! ::gasp::

    What, you never noticed how she looked like a younger Cassy A?

  30. There was this guy who became part of the crowd around our practice studio, a place that had operated on trust for years without anything more important than someone’s Sunday beer disappearing. Pretty soon, he started noticing things like the door being left unlocked. That, he said, was a sign that someone was planning on stealing stuff and blaming it on the door being unlocked. Sure enough, things started disappearing not long after that. I lost a Farfisa organ, a tenor sax, a Peavey PA head, a fretless bass, and a variety of smaller items. What was going on only became obvious when I remembered he also worked selling musical instruments.

    I now assume people who obsess over the lyingness of everyone else do so because they are liars. The first lie is the one they tell themselves: That they are telling the truth. On some deep level, they know that means the truth isn’t in them, so it can’t be in anyone else, either. After that, all else follows.

  31. John A Arkansawyer: I now assume people who obsess over the lyingness of everyone else do so because they are liars.

    I’ve noticed that people who habitually lie, or habitually steal, manage to square it with themselves by telling themselves that everyone else does the same thing, so really, they’re not doing anything wrong.

    That is very different, however, from pointing out that someone who is very obviously lying is a liar. I believe that people who blatantly and self-servingly lie should be called out on that. Not doing so is just giving them tacit approval that lying is okay, that they can get away with it, and that they should feel free to keep doing it.

  32. @Kendall, yes, in fact, I am…

    @James Moar, <snork!> That was absolutely perfect; I’d like to shake your hand! (Actually, I’m a clone of Cally. Or she’s a clone of me. We’re mutual clones. In fact, we were collectively Fan GoH at a tiny little local convention with a clone theme, once…)

  33. @JJ: “That is very different, however, from pointing out that someone who is very obviously lying is a liar.”

    Yes, those are two very different things. The sort of bogosity I was thinking of was the idea that (for instance) all news is fake news. Claiming that sort of lying on that sort of scale is a sign of lyingness in the claimant, especially when it’s someone powerful making the claim against someone less powerful.

    It’s not a hard and fast rule, but it’s a darn good heuristic to start with.

  34. And he and his followers seem to think that he now has File 770 “by the short hairs”… to do what, I have no idea.

    I’m trying to figure out what “pain” they think that Del Arroz has inflicted on anyone. He more or less showed up here like a surly drunk at a party who trips over the furniture and then boasts about how he kicked that guy’s ass who tried to knock him over, never realizing it was actually a kitchen chair he got into a fight with.

    Just about the only painful thing I can think of with respect to Del Arroz is reading his poorly thought out and poorly written comments and blog posts.

  35. How many books must a young man write, before you can call him “the leading voice in hispanic SF”?

  36. JJ: *snort* … which is no doubt much to your frustration, on many an occasion

    That would make a nice Big Bang Theory episode title — “The Occasion Frustration.” Which will probably be about the trouble Sheldon gets into commenting on blog File 3.14159

  37. How many books must a young man write, before you can call him “the leading voice in hispanic SF”?

    Pretty sure the answer is covfefe.

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