Sub Title: Not all of these are meant to be entirely humorous
Sub-Sub Title: Read the Sub Title any way you want
By Steve Davidson: A recent proposal to amend some of the Hugo Award categories got me thinking. If we’re going to amend the categories to really reflect the way things are, should we not also use the opportunity to include categories that should have been among the awards but never have been?
I think so. I think it’s high time that we use the awards to represent everything in the field, not just the narrow band of categories we’ve been living with since the 80s. Therefore, some proposals:
New Fan Awards
Best Off-the-Rails Panel
Best Inappropriate Convention-Based Political Protest
Best Munchies at a Con Suite (Note: It would probably be best to split this into two categories, one for NA-based cons and one for non-NA-based cons)
Most Humorous Comment at WSFS Business Meeting
Best Anonymous User Name (Note: Legal name must be provided to collect the award)
Best Fan-Based Facebook Group (Note: Groups created for the sole purpose of being nominated for this category shall be ineligible)
Best Book Delivery Service: Books don’t get to the bookstore by themselves, they have lots of help along the way. Perhaps THE most unsung portion of that chain is the truck driver who manhandles those cartons onto a dolly, down the ramp and drops them off in the bowels of the store. Without “Jerry” or “Hanna” or “Manuel”, you’d have nothing to peruse. Note: Nominations for this category may not be generic – UPS, FEDEX & USPS will be ignored.
Best Blurb – Science Fiction/Best Blurb – Fantasy. What makes you crack that cover? Why it’s the blurbs, of course. This category seeks to identify the single best book come-on in each of two categories. This is the only Hugo writing category for which the author’s name is completely unnecessary, which should make nominations a breeze.
Best Autographer: Use this category to get even over all of those long lines and bathroom denials.
Best Related Hugo Awards Political Screed: We can expect the puppies to dominate this category – legitimately – for quite some time.
Best Genre Meme/Best Genre Emoji/Best Genre Tweet: A mess of internet era categories that will no doubt become separate over time. We recommend allowing up to 100 Finalists – they’ll still be easy to get through.
Best Negative Review by Someone Who Has Obviously Not Read the Work: (Notes: voting on this award should be administrated so that the Finalist receiving the least number of votes wins.)
Best Recycled Cover Art and/or Most Egregious White Washed Cover. (Note: In the former category, a work qualifies if no less than 50.0001% of a cover has been re-used at least twice. In the latter, blue, green, purple and orange are also considered to be “white”.)
Best Statistical Analysis of a Problem Facing Genre (Note: Numbers need not be accurate for the entry to be eligible.)
Best Problem Facing Genre: (Note: Arguing over arguing is not an acceptable nominee.)
Best Name for Science Fiction. Note, this category shall always have the same Finalists listed – Science Fiction, Sci Fi, SF, Skiffy, Scientifiction, StF, Speculative Fiction; Following the final vote, all WSFS publications shall make amendments as appropriate (up to and including changing the name of the organization, that shall go into effect for the following year.)
Best Definition for Science Fiction. Note: The winning definition will be utilized the following year for placement of works in the various fiction categories.
Please feel free to add your own, because our final recommendation is:
Best Ridiculous Amendment to the Hugo Awards Categories. Note: I’m hoping to be nominated for this one.