2015 Black Hole Awards

Art by Taral Wayne.

Art by Taral Wayne.

The list of award winners from last weekend’s 2015 Hogu Award and Black Hole Award Ranquet in Spokane has been provided by Matthew B. Tepper. (References to anything “from the floor” means the audience made it up.)

The event was organized by Fred Isaacs, Amy Thomson and Susan Isaacs.

Black Hole Awards

Best Fan Writer:

  • Moshe Feder and Mike Glyer

Best Short-Short Story:

  • “If You Were a Puppy, My Sweet,” by Glenn Hauman and David Mack

Best Publisher:

  • Tor Books and Baen Books, awarded jointly, for continuing to publish great science fiction of whatever kind.

Fortitude:

  • The Hugo Administrators, John Lorentz and Ruth Sachter

(These next ones were added AFTER the Hugo Awards Ceremony)

Best Short Story:

  • “Totalled,” by, Kary English

Best Editor, Short Form:

  • Mike Resnick

Best Editor, Long Form:

  • Toni Weisskopf

Best Related Work:

  • R.A. Heinlein, In Dialogue with his Century, Vol. 2, The Man Who Learned Better, 1948-1988, by William H. Patterson.

Brown Hole Awards

The “Zap! Zap! Atomic is Ray Passe with Fiends!” Brown Hole Award for Journalism (multiple tie):

  • Michael “I’m Not” Rapoport; The Murdoch Street Journal
  • Mark Hemingway (No relation to Ernest); The Weekly Substandard
  • Allum Bokhari (gesundheit) and Milo Yiannopoulos; Breitbart.com

and nominated from the floor:

  • Almond “Half-Assed” Greenhorn (attribution lost)

Added afterwards:

  • Mythos “Not Expecting Tom” Holt, The Fed-Up List dot com

Brown Hole Award for Dumbest Villain Catchphrase:

  • “I’m Kratman!”

and nominated from the floor:

  • “Your All Creatons!” (Post Hugo Puppy Facebook post)

Most Irrelevant New Writer:

  • Brad Torgersen

Worst Finnish Export That Isn’t Food:

  • Crassfailure Press

And a new category, created on the spot:

Worst Finnish Import:

  • The real Pox Dei

Brown Hole Award for Professionalism:

  • Pox Day, aka Larry “North” Correia
  • Theodore “Ted 2” Beale
  • Harold Coven-Ton
  • John C. Wrong, er Wright

Yet another category created from the floor:

The Rolled Up Newspaper Award:

  • won jointly by both the Sad and Rabid Puppies

Tepper reports that no one wrote down the names of the 2015 Hogu Award categories or the winners, so we will stop now….

16 thoughts on “2015 Black Hole Awards

  1. Matt Y:

    Aw crap, I looked at the 1982 ballot results. Do I owe you 50 cents?

    The first Hogu ballot is free…. *bwahahahaha*

  2. (References to anything “from the floor” means the audience made it up.)

    Now THIS is the slate proof system we need!

    Also, congrats on this great honour Mike!

  3. I’m honored, and extremely perplexed how I’m going to explain this to people. Thanks to all the voters!

    I mean, assuming there were voters and I wasn’t put on as part of a slate or something.

  4. Well. Unaccustomed as I am to public spe–stop that laughing!

    I’d like to thank David Mack, who decided it was easier to rewrite part of my story rather than explain where it needed polishing, thereby starting this collaboration.

    And I’d like to thank the Dinosaur who inspired the story, and the dinosaurs who made it necessary to write the story.

    In closing, I hope this is the start of a Brand New Day, because we’re all pretty tired of the old one.

  5. From 1982:
    Aristotle Award has Noah Ward as a candidate. Mike, where are you hiding the time machine and can I borrow it for a few?

  6. @Robert Whitaker Sirignano

    I thought giving awards to Kary English’s Totaled, Mike Resnick, and Toni Weisskopf was a rather kind gesture, myself.

  7. I went to at least two Ranquets, years ago. Esther Friesner Queen of Hamsters was the Guest of Honor and Emcee at at least one. Categories included Most Desired Gafiation. I forget who various winners were… and I also remember the days of the Mid-Atlantic Fan Fund…..

    The Worldcon has Traditions, and the Ranquet was a tradition which, um, recognized, er, “Bad Behavior” and outstanding unprofessionalism, with its vote early, vote often, pay bribes, voting protocols. It was NOT meant to be impartial, not the in the least!

    Note that various recipients of IgNobel Awards, have often been gracious in their acceptances of what are essentialy Dubious Achievement Awards. Scientists tend to not generally be known as professionals with sense of humor, but those accepting IgNobels with graciousness, DO have sense of humor!

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