Hallmark Has Been Naughty and Nice This Year

Hallmark’s 2015 line of science fictional Keepsake Ornaments includes one of the most grotesque ever offered.

It’s the Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan™ Mr. Spock and Captain Kirk The Needs of the Many Ornament goes for $29.95.


The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few…or the one. Press the button on this Keepsake Ornament to hear the final farewell between Captain Kirk and Spock, who gave his life to save the U.S.S. Enterprise.

Click to hear the actors’ dialogue.

Merely bizarre is the Star Wars ™: The Empire Strikes Back ™ There Is No Try Yoda ™ and Luke Skywalker ™ Ornament priced at $32.95.

As one of the greatest Jedi Masters in galactic history, Yoda™ did not believe in “try.” Press the button to hear the diminutive warrior and the young Luke Skywalker™ in an unforgettable scene from Star Wars™:


Listen to Yoda’s advice here.

That Hallmark is counting on Darth Vader for comic relief tells you all you need to know about corporate America. Check out the Star Wars ™ Holiday Darth Vader ™ Ornament.

This Keepsake Ornament features Darth Vader™ in a Christmas sweater and Santa hat. Come close to the tree: The Dark Lord ornament will sense your movement and deliver a Christmas message.


Visit the product page to watch Darth’s demostration video. These are the jokes, Jedi!

Apart from these gag gifts, there are Keepsake Ornaments fans will enjoy receiving.

The Star Wars ™ : A New Hope C-3PO ™ and R2-D2 ™ Ornament ($17.95).

This permanently bickering yet inseparable pair of mechanical droids proved their loyalty to their Rebel friends throughout the Galactic Civil War, and even saved the day a time or two. Now, C-3P0™ and R2-D2™ are back as the 19th installment of the Keepsake series as seen in “Star Wars™: A New Hope™.”


The Star Trek ™ Lieutenant Nyota Uhura™ Ornament ($14.95).

As communications officer aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise, the sharp, dependable Lieutenant Nyota Uhura finds herself to be the sixth ornament in the Star Trek Legends series.


The Marvel Avengers: Age of Ultron Iron Man Ornament ($14.95)

He lives! He walks! He conquers! When eccentric billionaire inventor Tony Stark suits up in his armor as the invincible Iron Man, he is unstoppable.

marvel-avengers-age-of-ultron-iron-man-ornament-root-1495qxi2667_1470_1See even more science fictional and pop culture references at Hallmark’s Keepsake Ornaments site.

[Thanks to David Doering for the story.]

16 thoughts on “Hallmark Has Been Naughty and Nice This Year

  1. I’m still not fully recovered from the ornament that had Spock mindmelding with the Horta that screamed “PAIN TERRIBLE PAIN” when you triggered it. And said “NO KILL I.”

  2. The “Wrath of Khan” ornament seems more fitting as an Easter decoration. Death. Rebirth. And all that.

  3. 5th! and i gotta get a few of those death of spock ornaments to give as gifts…..

    i09 title is incredible…

  4. man, they should do a whole wrath of khan series!

    chekov getting the ear bug (as indicated on i09, but perhaps not close up)
    khans beefy chest
    kirk screaming khaaaaaaaaaaan!
    saavik in the exploded kobayashi maru bridge
    khan’s death, with overblown monologue
    scotty playing the space bagpipes for the funeral

  5. @Ultragotha: I know, right! I mean, I wouldn’t have the ornament on bet, but I would totally wear that sweater. Hell, I would knit that sweater if I could find a pattern. (Black, with silver sparkly yarn, I’m thinking.) Hmm. I wonder if the pattern is out there, anywhere. I’d have to learn color stranding… Hmm.

  6. @Lydy Nickerson I think you’ll find that graphed patterns work well throughout the fiber-working universe. Cross-stitch graphs work well as locker-hooking or needle-point graph patterns. But, you’ll find the same problem in knitting from a cross-stitch graph as in gif modification. Moving a small image to a larger size will result in pixelization. Also each knitted stitch is rectangular while each cross-stitch is square — so trying to knit directly from cross stitch will distort the image vertically. Google “knitting graph paper” and you can probably trace-create your own intarsia or fair isle patterns. I just bookmarked theknittingsite because: free graph paper grids to print.

    Although…. this might make a fun etsy shop.

  7. I agree with young Gully Foyle, the only truly grotesque ornament would be Chekov being fed the ear worm. Maybe Chekov wearing a Jose Cuervo ‘I ate the worm’ Tshirt would the only worse one yet.

  8. When I first saw the Luke and Yoda ornament I thought it was Jackie Chan from Rumble in the Bronx. (Mainly because I was just scrolling by and missed Yoda.)

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