Hang a Horta on Your Christmas Tree

The hottest part of summer is just beginning, which may not be the most obvious time to start selling Christmas tree ornaments — unless you work at Hallmark, that is.

Horta ornamentAnd my gosh! What fan won’t rush to pay $29.95 for a 4-1/2 inch long statuette of freaking Spock mind-melding with a blobby orange-and-gray Horta that plays a recording of the dialogue? What says Christmas more than incoherent shouts of “Pain!!” ? (At least, that’s the dialog in the YouTube clip.)

The company that wants to associate Christmas with an episode titled “Devil in the Dark” also offers the “U.S.S. Vengeance” from Star Trek: Into Darkness – it lights up with the press of a button! – for $32.95.

Star Trek’s mellower fans looking to make their tree a monument to diversity should consider Hallmark’s other 2014 offerings —

Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu — The versatile and reliable helmsman operates a tricorder and communicator in this ornament sculpted by Keepsake artist Anita Marra Rogers. Sulu is the fifth in a Keepsake Ornament series titled Star Trek Legends, which each year features a TOS character. The ornament is 4 ¼” high and costs $14.95.

Vina —  This limited-quantity ornament celebrates the 50th anniversary of the production start of “The Cage,” Star Trek’s first pilot. It depicts the human woman as a dancing Orion slave girl as seen by Captain Christopher Pike in a Talosian-induced illusion. Sculpted by Keepsake artist Valerie Shanks, Vina stands 4” high and sells for $14.95.

Green slave girls. What kind of person does that say “Christmas” to? Someone whose address is a mountain crag above Whoville?

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3 thoughts on “Hang a Horta on Your Christmas Tree

  1. At the risk of being accused of whatever Mr. Frenkel was, it would seem to me that association with an Orion Woman (*) could be considered The Holiday Gift Which Keeps On Giving.

    (*) And I *mean* “association”, not “slavery”.

  2. And the Horta is inaccurate. Janos Prohaska’s costume resembled a pepperoni pizza far more than the ornament does.

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