Lovecraft Situation Gets Verse

By Sam Long: Further to your recent File 770 item about the increase in Lovecraftiana….here’s my contribution to that increase, in the form of some verses I wrote a few years ago. I hope you enjoy them.

The Starship Lovecraft’s skipper
Was eldritch as his crew.
He sat upon the bridge and said,
“Warp factor one, Mr Chthulu!”

The chief cook of the Lovecraft
Would not serve corned beef hash.
Instead, to honor Yog Suthoth,
Served Yoghurt Succotash.

The Lovecraft’s skipper’s hobby
Was running model trains;
A suitcase in his cabin
Held a layout like Skylark DuQuesne’s.

The rolling stock was tiny,
And some was of great age.
When asked, “What scale’s your layout?”
He’d tersely say, “N-gauge.”

The Lovecraft’s lounge’s barkeep
Is really quite demonic.
He uses Miska fizz to make
A gin and Miska tonic.

The Lovecraft’s shuttle Arkham
Is piloted by an alien.
It uses long and ornate words
And terms sesquepedalian.

That Arkham pilot’s speech, some find,
Is barely comprehensible,
But to be skillful at its job
Is the Arkham E.T.’s principle.

It moves the Arkham’s flight controls
With movements smooth and subtle.
A better pilot you’ll not find
On any starship’s shuttle.

The Lovecraft‘s plumbing’s haunted:
That’s what crewbeings said.
They call the “Lurker in the Loo”
The “Haunter in the Head.”


“N-gauge” is a model railroad gauge of about 1:144 or 1:156 — very small. An engine that is 70-80 feet long in real life is only about 6 inches long in N-gauge, and will fit in one hand.

Miska or Miska’s Liquors is a chain of liquor stores in the Chicago area.  They also sell mixers like soda water and–of course–tonic water.