[Introduction: Melanie Stormm continues her humorous series of posts about the misdirected emails she’s been getting. Stormm is a multiracial writer who writes fiction, poetry, and audio theatre. Her novella, Last Poet of Wyrld’s End is available through Candlemark & Gleam. She is currently the editor at the SPECk, a monthly publication on speculative poetry by the SFPA. Find her in her virtual home at coldwildeyes.com (temporarily closed for update). Wipe your feet before entering.]
NECROMANCY FOR WRITERS
Hello All! Melanie here.
Last week, Writer X and her boyfriend Tod narrowly escaped from a character that came to life and tried to kill them.
This week, it seems X prefers to do the killing.
Without further ado…
Subject: KITTEN SITTING!!!!
Dear Gladys,
I’m sure your dying to know how my writing is going, but could you babysit #bestkitten next week??? I want to go to this but Tryxy is going down to Miskatonic University for Spirits Week and my boyfriend, award-nominated fantasy writer Tod Boadkins, is hunting baers.
xox,
X
[Click for larger image.]
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I hope being resurrected gives inner editors short-term-memory loss. I’d be afraid that an inner editor that I kicked off a cliff might, erm, RESENT that, even if I brought them back from the dead afterwards, and litter the manuscript with greengrocer’s apostrophes….
EXCELLENT point, Cassy. I wonder if protective amnesia is something they teach in one of the advanced workshops.
…it also makes me wonder if X’s punctuation choices are reflection of previous necromancy attempts. Hmmm.