(1) KEPLER STRAIGHTENS UP AND FLIES RIGHT. NASA reports that the Kepler spacecraft has been stabilized and is no longer wasting fuel. They won’t resume science operations until they think they know what went wrong.
(2) GALAKTIKA PIRACY. Author Malcolm F. Cross discusses what it feels like to discover his story was swiped by Hungary’s Galaktika magazine.
And the bad?
My short story, Pavlov’s House, which was both my first pro-sale and something I wrote as part of the early work on figuring out Dog Country, was ripped off by Galaktika.
What is Galaktika? It’s a Hungarian SFF magazine, which has over the past few years apparently ripped off a lot of authors. (There are some articles by A.G. Carpenter on the issue here: here) They went ahead and translated it into Magyar/Hungarian, then sold it in print, without asking me for translation rights, without notifying me, without offering me a contract or payment. They stole my story.
Getting my head around that has been kind of traumatic for me. My writing career is one of the most important things I have in my life, and part of that career is having a say in where and how my work appears. Stories are part of a conversation, by submitting my fiction for publication, by trying to sell it, by getting involved in where and how it appears, I am adding to that conversation. But when I get ripped off…? I’m not sure I’m part of that conversation anymore, and that’s been bugging me immensely.
For now I’m in touch with SFWA (I’m a member, if you did not know!) and figuring out what I can/should do about it.
In the meanwhile, though, if you haven’t already, go enjoy Pavlov’s House where it was originally published, at Strange Horizons, over here….
(3) BURNSIDE ON WEIGHING CREDIBILITY. At Medium, Ken Burnside takes issue with those skeptical about the sexism and assaults reported by women gamers, in “For Good Men To See Nothing”.
I specifically AM addressing this piece to the people of “my tribe”: white, heterosexual male gamers who wouldn’t dream of grabbing anyone in a non-consensual or sexual way in public, and find descriptions of these kinds of acts inconceivable, because they don’t happen in front of us.
Our starting point is an article by Emily Garland, who won a judgment from a Canadian court about entrenched sexism she experienced as a customer at a game store. It’s the “Tabletop Gaming Has a White Male Terrorism Problem” piece that came to public notice in early April 2016. To our credit as human beings, it’s gotten a lot of positive responses?—?positive in the sense of “Yes, this is believable, and we’ve got to do something about it.” However, it’s also gotten the “I think she’s making it up to get attention” backlash that’s common when discussing sexism.
No, guys. She isn’t. And as long litanies and lists of licentious license being taken won’t convince you…I’m going to pose this a different way….
The people who do this are incredibly facile with a plausible explanation for why what they’re doing is “not wrong” or “normal”?—?“It’s just a joke.” “Oh, she left something with me and I needed to return it to her.” They know that the vast majority of good men (like you, the people I’m writing this to) will accept that kind of explanation rather than act on it.
A friend of mine, New York Times bestselling author Steven Barnes, has a term for these kinds of people: “Smiling monsters.” They’ll smile and be cheerful to your face when you confront them, and expect you to forget them entirely while they go back to whatever it was you caught them at. These people rely on two facts: The first is that their victim doesn’t want to trigger a confrontation: even bold, brave women like the cosplayer I befriended at Sasquan get jittery about direct confrontation. The second is that good men, like you, won’t believe they’re doing what they’re doing, because they can’t imagine doing it. It’s easy to overlook smiling monsters when they give a glib answer and scuttle out of sight.
When you accept the explanation of the smiling monster, you give the victim the impression that you won’t listen to what they have to say. The smiling monster is betting on that, and 99% of the time, he’s right….
(4) A SPECULATIVE REVIEW. From Stephenie Sheung, “Review: Almost Infamous by Matt Carter” at The Speculative Herald.
If you’re a fan of comics and are looking for a clever, humorous, and merciless riff on the superhero genre, then Almost Infamous is most definitely the book for you! Matt Carter’s novel is a wildly entertaining, satirical take on the characters and worlds we imagine when we picture the Marvel or DC universes, and as a twist, his protagonist is a horny, uppity teenage supervillain.
To get a sense of the zaniness you’re in for, just take a peek at the book’s first few pages, featuring a “Brief History of Superheroes.” Super powers—whether you were born with them, cursed with them, granted them as a result of radioactive freak accident, changed by a gene-splicing experiment gone wrong, and so on and so forth—are just a common fact of life. Superhumans are real. Oh, and by the way, so are Atlanteans, Lemurians, magicians, aliens, demons, golems, mortal gods who walk the earth, and pretty much every kind of power-endowed beings you can think of. All real.
(5) A BRIEF HISTORY OF FANFIC. Andrew Liptak explores “Unauthorized Stories: Fan Fiction and Fandom” at Kirkus Reviews.
Looking at the phenomenon, Fan Fiction is a wholly new type of medium that arrived because of the close-knit genre communities, and it demonstrates the unique environment of these communities. They’re also coupled with the rise of larger media franchises that typically expand far beyond the reach of novels. Fan fiction has provided a unique opportunity for fans to push the boundaries of the stories that they’ve come to love, and contribute to it in their own ways.
(6) HOPPING. In part 8 of Black Gate’s Choosing Your Narrative Point of View Series, Tina Jens reveals “Things Your Writing Teacher Never Told You: The Multiple Personalities of Omniscient 3rd Person: Spotlight on ‘Head-Hopper’”, at Black Gate.
Virginia Woolf’s novel, To the Lighthouse, does a brilliant job with our next POV style:
7. Head-Hopper
If you’ve not read her novel, I urge you to do so. I also urge you to read it aloud, even if you’re sitting outside at a café, which I did a few summers ago. The book is graced with many long, complex sentences that loop and flow, and sometimes change point of view from one clause to the next. Reading it out loud helps the brain make sense of the phrases and clauses in a way that eyes-only reading can’t manage as well. When done well, as Ms. Woolf did, it is a brilliant writing stratagem. But it works best in stories where there is very little physical plot. The conflict comes mainly from the contrast of how different characters perceive the same moment, and in the shifting emotions of characters.
Which means, generally, it is not a good point of view choice for action-packed genre stories.
(7) ISLAMIC SF CONTEST. The Islamicate Science Fiction short story writing contest is open and will accept submissions until to the beginning of Ramadan/Ramzan/Ramjan (June 8, 2016). The winner will be announced on the day of Eid – July 6, 2016. Cash prizes will be given to the first, second and third place stories.
The Islam and Science Fiction project has been running since 2005, we just entered our second decade. While the depiction of Muslims in Science Fiction and Islamic cultures has improved we still have a lot way to go, as is the case with many other minority groups. To kickstart things in this genre we have decided to start a contest centered around Science Fiction with Muslim characters or Islamic cultures (Islam in the cultural sense and not necessarily in the religious sense)….
Scope:
Islamicate refers to the cultural output of predominantly Islamic culture or polity. Thus while the culture has its foundation and inspiration from the religion of Islam, it need not be produced by someone who is Muslim. The term Islamicate is thus similar to the term West as it encompasses a whole range of cultures, ethnicities and schools of thought with shared historical experience. The contest is open to all people regardless of their religious affiliation or lack there of. Thus a person of any religion, nationality, ethnicity race, gender, sexual orientation can submit. A collection of the best stories from the submissions will be released as an epub and available to download for free.
Submission rules:
- The stories must be either set in a predominantly Muslim culture AND/OR have Muslim protagonist(s).
- Short stories in almost any variant of Science Fiction (space opera, time-travel, apocalyptic, reimaging classic themes, techno-thrillers, bio-punk, science mystery, alternate history, steampunk, utopian, dystopian etc) is encouraged.
- No reprints: No simultaneous submissions: No multiple submissions.
- Submission are limited to one per person.
- Since we are talking about short stories, any story with less than 8,000 words will be accepted.
(8) A KITTEN’S PERSPECTIVE. “Happy Kittens Smile Back” at Spacefaring, Extradimensional Happy Kittens.
Whew, Hugo nominations have closed and I managed to actually consume enough good SFF to nominate five things in most categories. The extraordinary new resources like Rocket Stack Rank and various longlists really came in handy.
Of course, the Hugo nomination deadline is just an excuse. Discovering new writers and fanzines you hadn’t heard of before is the thing, not some weird, phallic awards that never (or very very seldom) are given to your absolute top favorites anyway. I do like the fan community aspect of it — people reading the shortlisted works at the same time and discussing them, and getting together to throw the annual party — but it’s all more or less sideshow. The books, the stories and the other exciting things are what it’s about for me.
So, to some extent, nevermind what the eventual nomination results are going to look like on April 26th. Even if a certain former disco musician manages to make his MRA troll army sweep the ballot like he did last year, there will be terrific thing to read and watch on the various recommendation lists that many fans have put together. Next year, the necessary rule changes are ratified and we get rid of him. (Truth be told, I don’t think that it will be as easy for them to wreak havoc as it was last year, but who knows.)
(9) LOCUS AWARDS DEADLINE. Voting closes April 15.
Make the Locus Awards count! Deadline April 15. Vote today at https://t.co/Y1UqRoaBwE
Please retweet!
— Locus Magazine (@locusmag) April 11, 2016
(10) SF AUTHORS WRITE BREAKFAST STORIES. By gifting some virtual birthday waffles to Sarah Pinsker, A. C. Wise started a breakfast meme on Twitter.
https://twitter.com/KMSzpara/status/719605732304429058
@Wiswell @ac_wise @KMSzpara @SarahPinsker @andreapawley The Waffle House In the Woods
— Serenity “Leap Year Capybara” Dee ???? (@sapphixy) April 11, 2016
@ac_wise @Wiswell @asymbina @KMSzpara @andreapawley I Have No Mouth and I Must Eat Waffles
— Sarah Pinsker (@SarahPinsker) April 11, 2016
@asymbina @ac_wise @Wiswell @KMSzpara @andreapawley The Book of the New Sunny Side Up
— Sarah Pinsker (@SarahPinsker) April 11, 2016
@asymbina @SarahPinsker @Wiswell @KMSzpara @andreapawley The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelets.
— A.C. Wise (@ac_wise) April 11, 2016
And lots more where those came from….
(11) WE ARE IN KANSAS TOTO. What happens when you are accidentally assigned 600 million IP addresses? Learn about “How an internet mapping glitch turned a random Kansas farm into a digital hell” at Fusion.
For the last decade, Taylor and her renters have been visited by all kinds of mysterious trouble. They’ve been accused of being identity thieves, spammers, scammers and fraudsters. They’ve gotten visited by FBI agents, federal marshals, IRS collectors, ambulances searching for suicidal veterans, and police officers searching for runaway children. They’ve found people scrounging around in their barn. The renters have been doxxed, their names and addresses posted on the internet by vigilantes. Once, someone left a broken toilet in the driveway as a strange, indefinite threat….
The trouble for the Taylor farm started in 2002, when a Massachusetts-based digital mapping company called MaxMind decided it wanted to provide “IP intelligence” to companies who wanted to know the geographic location of a computer to, for example, show the person using it relevant ads or to send the person a warning letter if they were pirating music or movies.
There are lots of different ways a company like MaxMind can try to figure out where an IP address is located. It can “war-drive,” sending cars around the U.S. looking for open wifi networks, getting those networks’ IP addresses, and recording their physical locations. It can gather information via apps on smartphones that note the GPS coordinates of the phone when it takes on a new IP address. It can look at which company owns an IP address, and then make an assumption that the IP address is linked to that company’s office.
(12) HANNA BARBERA. See the photos at Fred Seibert’s Tumblr, “Hanna & Barbera, the last portraits. By Jeff Sedlik”.
Without knowing it, Bill Hanna and Joe Barbera presented me with the reasons I got into the cartoon business in 1992.
Looney Tunes, Popeye the Sailor, Tom and Jerry and Crusader Rabbit were the first favorites in my cartoon diet, but my fandom really kicked into gear with Hanna-Barbera’s The Huckleberry Hound Show, and their first wave that ended with The Jetsons. When I started traveling to Hollywood in my 30s, whenever I passed their classic Googie studios, I would wonder what went on in that hallowed fortress. Little could I know that I’d end up as the last president of the company.
One of the missions was to give some respect to Bill and Joe that I felt they’d missed over the decades when they’d disrupted the industry and vintage cartoon partisans never forgave them. They were abused as having limited creative imaginations, so I commissioned a series of essays written by Bill Burnett to set the record straight.
In 1996, towards the end of my tenure (owner Ted Turner sold his entire operation to Time-Warner), I commissioned a series of formal portraits by one of my favorite Los Angeles based photographers, Jeff Sedlik. Bill was 86, Joe 85, and they deserved to be remembered as the American cultural titans that they were.
(13) NEW SUICIDE SQUAD TRAILER. Aired during the MTV Movie Awards.
[Thanks to John King Tarpinian, JJ, Andrew Porter, Darren Garrison, Barry Newton, Will R., and Greg Hullender for some of these stories. Title credit goes to File 770 contributing editor of the day Sylvia Sotomayor.]
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As someone who watchs the Gaters as they pick their targets atnd then beat them into submission while maintaining a a facade of “oh, it’s just about the games” or “It’s about ethics” or “We don’t hate women, we just want the truth to come out”, I’ve about run out of burning rage for the antics of gaters and puppies. It just reinforces my desire to be a different sort of person to the people around me, men and women alike, and to teach my soldiers to be better people.
On a completely DIFFERENT note, the Hamilton biography/annotated lyrics book/picture book came in the mail today, and I devoured the damn thing. Apparently I’m not the only one as it’s the #1 best selling book on Amazon at the moment.
It needs to be January already!
Rev. Bob: “We shouldn’t have to” is whiny, counterproductive bullshit
I disagree with this, especially in terms of the discussion in which it’s occurring right now, but as I’m inclined to say something very hostile right now about this response, I’m just going to leave it at that.
Anecdote from personal experience: At party, young woman is hit on by guy who doesn’t take ‘no’ for answer and grabs her arm. This [1] brings her wedding ring into view [2] attracts attention of her husband, nearby.
Guy drops her arm like hot potato, backs off rapidly, apologizing as he goes.
Now, suppose husband isn’t present. I’m not seeing any way this same reaction will happen. Confronted with wedding ring [tangible evidence of a woman the property of another man] I can see the guy letting go of her, backing off, maybe. But not in that near-panic state, not so defensively apologetic.
Instead, “why was she at party alone, acting like she’s fair game? It’s all her fault.”
And the likely reaction of the other men present: “You’re lucky he didn’t punch you out” vs “yeah, the bitch was leading you on”
Which is all why I don’t really believe Burnside’s claim that men don’t know this is going on all the time. It’s a form of willful ignorance. Men DO see, they judge the situation, and all too often, they accept it while at the same time denying anything is wrong.
I think it would be an interesting experiment: a guy molests a single woman, a guy molests a woman under a man’s protection. Record the differing reactions of the other men in the room under both circumstances.
Rev. Bob ended up saying what I was going to say. Burnside’s piece is not letter-perfect feminist analysis and advocacy. But Burnside’s piece stands to make the world a little better than it was. And this is not necessarily even his final form. Or the final form of all of his readers.
If Superman decides to rip off the roof of the White House and kidnap the President, then the President will be kidnapped. Who imagines a bunch of psychopaths with automatic guns will stop him? Or imagines the psychos can be controlled? Don’t they read comic books?
Lois Tilton: I think it would be an interesting experiment: a guy molests a single woman, a guy molests a woman under a man’s protection. Record the differing reactions of the other men in the room under both circumstances.
It’s well-known, amongst young single women (and I’ve observed this on numerous occasions), that saying “I’m not interested” will often have no effect in getting rid of a persistent but unwelcome botherer, whereas saying “I have a boyfriend/husband” will usually do the trick.
In other words, what the woman wants is of no importance, but what another man would want actually makes a difference. 😐
@Will R. & @lurkertype:
First, Will, I appreciate your ETA. I knew that Stephen Fry has bipolar disorder, and I was aware that he had attempted suicide.
It is most certainly not an excuse. If he is saying things poorly or reacting poorly to criticism due to his mood disorder, he really should consult whatever health care professional he is seeing. He’s on medication, but sometimes medication requirements change. I also know meds + talk therapy work very well together for many mood disorders.
To his credit, I have not seen him use his mental health as an excuse for his words. He’s more likely to lash out at his critics, from what I’ve seen.
Also, I figured out another reason why I’m so pissed off about this. How many victims of abuse are told that the abuse is their fault? How many totally internalize that? Telling people with PTSD to stop feeling sorry for themselves is so fucking tone-deaf, and I’m…not shocked, but extremely disappointed that the head of a mental health advocacy charity would say these things.
From Mind’s homepage:
…except, apparently, victims of child abuse and rape. They just need to grow up.
@Bruce Baugh: really don’t think it makes sense to call fanfic new, nor its communities. There’s no reasonably worthwhile definition of fanfic that can include a large majority of current fanfic and exclude the Aeneid, just for starters. Both biblical testaments and the apocrypha around them include fairly strong doses of the same. And on and on. Wherever you’ve got accounts, you’ve got people filling in the gaps, retelling them to suit themselves
I agree principle (the universal human desire to fill in gaps, transform stories, etc.) but disagree that calling the Aeneid, Bible, etc. etc. etc. “fanfic.” “Fanfic” comes from a specific historico-cultural context: it requires copyright, print publishing (which allows for first/original publishing-author, the invention and privileging of “ideas” as property of single individual, legal system to support those rights, the shift to commercials media/works producing our modern ‘myths,’ etc. etc. etc. etc.).
The works (those few that survived when the vast majority did not) earlier historical contexts across cultures and languages that involved oral rather than print cultures, no sense of INDIVIDUAL OWNER of story, etc. etc. I think is best considered as transformative and/or derivative works as an umbrella concept with fanfic as ONE of many sub-categories.
The idea of fandom reinventing the human concept of telling stories around the campfire is great, and while I can admire the articles that want to “pre-claim” major religious and literary classics (all mostly by dead which men) for the category “fanfic,” or, alternately associate fanfic with those ClassicalTM works is appealing–but at some point makes a whole range of different types of works, produced for different audiences, in different historical and cultural contexts, into a bland mush.
But yes, it’s the natural human impulse with narrative/stories, and the concept of broader cultural ownership of Story with individuals contributing variations, and a shared narrative making process–right on.
And fanfic isn’t all that new (well, half a century plus now).
My main response to the post in Mike’s post (I didn’t bother to go read it because I’m sure it’s the same rehashed stuff) is how tired I am of seeing male journalists in the malestream press writing about this weird stuff by WIMMINZ.
Re: Burnside post.
The Women Men Don’t See by James Tiptree, Jr.
I remember the first time a senior male colleague (whom I dragged to meeting with dept. head to back me up on protest about inappropriate assigning of major service job to first-year tenure-track new hire) SAW, really saw, for the first time how said dept. head treated a woman (tenured, cannot remember if full professor then or not, but still).
He stood in the hallway afterwards exclaiming for nearly ten minutes explaining to me how DH did not look me in eye, angled body away from me when I spoke, looked only at SMC, etc. And of course with SMC made the point (and more importantly volunteered to take over service job–I could not do it because of lack of Spanish language), DH folded.
I nearly started crying because he SAW. (For some years, a friend and I had tried to bring up issues of sexism in the department in meetings after official agenda–no change to get on official agenda because of former department head whose motto was “aren’t you just saying that because you’re a feminist, would not put it on). Every time, every man in the room would get up and say they had to leave (except for the gay man and one tenure-track guy who got it but of course was not tenured, not senior).
It’s funny but women and allies have been working to get men to notice harassment and give action items all the time. We don’t scream and yell all the time either. If you are unaware of action items and non-screaming and yelling chances are you ignore calm women/feminist talking/writing on the topic. Congrats your bubble is working well. Feel free to step outside any time to meet the rest of us.
Someone mentioned the guys I walk through TV/movies are already willing. Being willing and having the frame of reference to recognize harassment and what actions you could take are very different things. If you know this stuff happens but at the same time never see it around you how do you learn to see it? Ken Burnside gave some ways. But visceral seeing really helps for many people. Buddying up with someone who can point stuff out when your at work or at cons/gaming events can help you open your eyes. This works for racism as well although finding a buddy may be harder.
@Tasha: If you are unaware of action items and non-screaming and yelling chances are you ignore calm women/feminist talking/writing on the topic.
Yup, although I’m quite convinced that many men hear that “calm” writing OR speaking as GRFEMINISTARGHGNASHKILL. (Ditto for white people reacting to antiracist activists, etc. etc.).
It’s like the bubble sometimes works as insulation, sometimes as weird amplification…..
I agree with Bruce Baugh regarding fanfic. Even if you disregard things like the Odyssey and the Bible Apocryphia, fanfic has been around for centuries. it doesn’t require modern publishing or copyright all it requires is writers willing to take other people’s works and do their own things with them. Like the Scottish writer Robert Henryson, who took Chauser’s version of Troilus and Criseyde, and made Criseyde come to a very bad end. Writers have been taking other people’s characters and stories and doing their own thing with them for ages, copyright or no.
@Dawn Agreed all the way around. Mentioned partly because I had just seen the documentary he did, which was direct to the point of bluntness (and perhaps even oversharing) about the realities and details of his situation but also made clear that many of these attitudes go beyond any particular ups or downs. (It clearly wasn’t asking for special consideration.)
His remarks here shock me. His remark about his “friend” at the BAFTAs was breathtakingly cutting. The shock is partly because it isn’t how I’ve thought of him in the past. I hope he will make it clear this isn’t what he really believes in his heart.
@Robinareid
Yeah. I remember when I first started noticing this kind of thing.
I work for the US federal government, in an agency which at one point went from hiring almost no women for technical positions to almost even balance. Which meant that when I was younger, I attended a lot of meetings, chaired by senior male mathematicians and scientists, that included both males and females at the mid-career or junior levels. At some point I was sensitized to the behavior you mention, and started seeing it in almost every professional interaction at the office. Once you’ve seen it, it’s very hard to unsee.
That was years ago, and I suppose it has gotten better, not least because by now my agency has plenty of women even at senior leadership levels. Although not in every case. I’m still seeing women run into this kind of subtle contempt to this day, in offices where they have immediate male supervisors.
“What men don’t see,” indeed.
The thing about Fry is that he is a warm, humane human being a lot of the time, also smart and witty, but like any human being he sometimes just gets it wrong. The failure mode of Stephen Fry is not thinking things through when he’s depressed.
I recommend his BBC documentary Out There for an example of him at his most humane: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9ytwGW9eO0
This is not to say that he shouldn’t be criticised when he gets it wrong, of course.
Do you have a source for that? An interview or documentary or something? I ask because I initially wondered if he was manic and his brain was moving too fast and everything came out poorly.
(I am not a psychiatrist, nor do I play one on TV. This speculation makes me uncomfortable without a statement from Fry himself. But if he has spoken on this previously, I would be very interested in reading/watching it.)
ETA too late. Fry has made a statement:
Very good. Not a nonapology. I’m glad, as he seems like a very thoughtful and, yes, humane man much of the time.
JJ on April 12, 2016 at 7:14 pm said: It’s well-known, amongst young single women (and I’ve observed this on numerous occasions), that saying “I’m not interested” will often have no effect in getting rid of a persistent but unwelcome botherer, whereas saying “I have a boyfriend/husband” will usually do the trick.
“I have a gun pointed at your dick” works. I knew a skinny little girl that broke a guy’s collarbone with one palm strike. Tai Chi. He was messing with her at a bus stop, she f-ed him up. That worked.
That’s the solution to women getting molested. The woman damages the molester, on the spot, during the offense, and escapes. That is after all what her husband/boyfriend is going to do, isn’t it?
Maybe pervo should be afraid of her instead. Take out the middleman, so to speak.
But hey, that’s crazy troll talk! Go comment on my blog JJ, this isn’t the place to have this conversation. I have a special post just for you, monkey boy.
“I have a gun pointed at your dick” works. I knew a skinny little girl that broke a guy’s collarbone with one palm strike. Tai Chi. He was messing with her at a bus stop, she f-ed him up. That worked.
So you think that a world in which women have to escalate to physical violence (with all of the inherent dangers that involves) in order to be listened to is the world you want to live in? And you wonder why no one takes you seriously.
Or maybe he should have respect for her as a human being. Don’t you think men are capable of that? This feminist does.
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2016/02/16/stephen-fry-the-not-so-secret-life-of-the-manic-depressive-documentary_n_9242290.html
Yep, because if there’s one thing that martial artists learn, it’s to escalate to violence as quickly as possible.
Oh, wait, no. It’s to avoid the fight and use violence only as a last resort.
I hate feeding the troll, but what the hell.
If a woman hits a man who is pushing her and not taking no for an answer, which is the most likely reaction of any witnesses?
A) “wow, she sure stood up for herself. That is awesome.”
B) “Crazy (expletive). She should get charged with assault.”
C) ” He was being a dick, but wow. Overreact much?This is the real world, not a action movie. You should see a shrink.”
D) “So why didn’t she just walk away? Or try talking nicely to him? She should be flattered he was interested.”
E) “WTF? Poor guy didn’t even do anything. Hey, man, are you okay?” (shuns woman)
F) Any of the above EXCEPT A
“Class, I shall now show you what to do if a man points a gun at you.”
“Yes, sensei?”
*puts hands in air*
(He, being a sensible soul, had a slightly different version for women being told to get in a car by a man with a gun, which was the “You’re dead anyway, might as well make a break for it so you might get shot instead of tortured to death, and this is the best way to make a break for it while screaming Fire!…”* speech. Oddly devoid of guns pointed at dicks, somehow…)
He was a nice man. Of course, he had daughters my age…
*Because everybody comes out to see a fire.
Someone got a lobotomy for half-price coupon, I see.
The real world works slightly differently than Steven Seagal movies.
@RedWombat:
That reminds me of my Sensei instructing us on what to do if someone with a knife demands your wallet:
1) Throw over wallet
2) Run the hell away
Though I got to see one of our black belts’ Nidan grading where he had to demonstrate a gun takeaway. That was pretty awesome. I’m sure the training emphasized to only attempt it as a total last resort. It looked like a good way to get shot.
Since, pace Phantom, we’re discussing ‘surrender’ rather than action heroics with guns pointed at genitals, maybe we should segue into discussions of favorite types of cheese, so we can be true cheese-eating surrender monkeys 🙂
My favorite basic cheese I treat myself with is a nice and creamy Gruyere. I’m also partial to Swiss. On the origins of where to get Cheddar I am agnostic. I’ve had good cheddar in the Northeast and from Wisconsin, too. I like a variety of Mexican cheeses, too.
The best cheddar I have ever had is Colliers Powerful Welsh Cheddar, which is made in Wales. In the US, I’ve found it at Trader Joe’s and Wegman’s and occasionally at Aldi as a seasonal special.
I like a really sharp, aged, crumbly cheddar. A nice smoked gouda is good, too. I’ll never turn down stilton.
Do you notice a tendency towards really strong-flavored cheeses? <grin>
If anyone wants to chime in with a good strong cheese, please, I’d love to hear it. I don’t know nearly as much about cheeses as I’d like to.
I wonder at age 3 where I was supposed to get an armed gun and how threatening to shoot my father would have played out. I’m 90% certain I’d have ended up dead rather than just abused for a few more years under that scenario. Want to take bets on if I’d shot him whether I’d have spent my childhood in juvie rather than celebrated as a smart child protecting herself?
Women who aim guns at men end up in jail even if they had restraining orders against the men and the men invade their homes. Guns solve everything fallacy only works for white men. Women and other minorities are more likely to end up in jail for protecting themselves from their predators by bringing a gun into the situation.
I do occasionally get the urge to shoot people giving this kind of useless advice putting responsibility on women and saying men are uncontrollable animals who need a gun aimed at their privates before they get no means no even when it’s their kid, parent, sibling, relative, someone’s grandparent/grandchild, etc. saying it. We don’t accept sorry I didn’t realize little Suzy, age 5, didn’t consent, she didn’t aim a gun at my penis when I touched her privates. Just because Suzy is now 18, 30, 50, 75, shouldn’t change things. Telling women they need a gun, tells predators they aren’t doing anything wrong, it’s screwed up. A gun might be part of a woman’s toolkit but it’s still the rapist at fault and indicating anything else is rape culture at its worst.
@Cassy Oh, I notice 🙂
I remember, even growing up, I could not stand “Cheese Food” (aka Kraft Singles). I don’t even really like it on Burgers. And “American Cheese”– no thank you. One of the things I lament about Five Guys is that the only cheese you can get IS American Cheese. I prefer Smashburger to Five Guys because of the cheese availability, mainly. (Although for real burger heaven here, there is the local Red Cow)
The Phantom:
Fuck off, troll.
I used to make a Gruyere and champagne fondue. It was great for dipping homemade garlic and onion croutons from leftover Shabbos egg challah. Other good dippings were grape tomatoes.
Baked Brie. Yummy. So many ways to make. Sweet or savory.
Good sharp aged cheddar were favorites too. Port wine cheddar spreads were another weakness.
Multiple cheeses and cracker plates are frequent appetizers at family gatherings. Still falls on me to shop for as I like the better quality stuff and trying something new, even if I can’t eat it.
Being unable to eat dairy really sucks. LOL
@Tasha. Ouch, sympathies. If I were told I couldn’t eat dairy or chocolate, I would be a very, very, very unhappy person. Unhappy enough to eat a gallon of chocolate gelato.
I’ll take provolone and Monterey Jack, but also recommend Asadero (Oaxaca cheese, or queso) which is great!
This isn’t a fondue but it’s really good. It’s called Savory Toasted Cheese (don’t ask me why since it isn’t toasted)
1 part butter
2 parts brie
3 parts Neufchatel cream cheese (or any other sort of spreadable, meltable cheese such as mascarpone)
I usually add a diced and sautéed onion.
Melt and stir until thoroughly combined.
Serve over anything—vegetables, hot dogs, bread, toast…. I like it on broccoli.
Ok, everyone is so good at food that I will share with you my genius creation: Waffle Pizza.
Take swedish flatbread (lefsa for you norwegians). Put on tomato sauce, topping, cheese – and then another flatbread. Place in heated waffle iron. Press down, wait 1-2 min and voila – instant pizza!
@Paul (@princejvstin)
There is some hope that the happy gallbladder removal surgery tomorrow may in 6-12 months occasionally allow me some dairy products. I’m praying hard for that. Well and the surgery goes well and a I have a quick and easy recovery. 😉
Occasionally I’ve decided being really sick and in pain for 3-14 days is worth it and will cheat but only if we are talking top quality dairy. Or a slice of pizza just before/after Passover because Tradition LOL
@Hampus Eckerman
Waffle pizzas sound great. Does it require much cleaning up of the waffle maker?
Tasha, happy* gallbladder removal surgery day tomorrow! Here’s to a speedy recovery!
*where “happy” = as smooth and uneventful as it is possible for an invasive procedure to be.
The Phantom: That’s the solution to women getting molested. The woman damages the molester, on the spot, during the offense, and escapes.
No, the solution to women getting molested is to teach men that it’s not okay to molest women — and when men see a guy doing this, for them to speak up and let the molester know that what he’s doing is not acceptable.
The Phantom: But hey, that’s crazy troll talk! Go comment on my blog JJ, this isn’t the place to have this conversation. I have a special post just for you, monkey boy.
Yes, that is crazy troll talk. And it’s nice that you’re trying to attract some intelligent, rational commenters to your crazy troll blog — but I have a million other things which are more interesting that I can do (including watching paint dry).
Nope!
Tasha Turner on April 13, 2016 at 1:21 pm said: I wonder at age 3 where I was supposed to get an armed gun and how threatening to shoot my father would have played out.
Sorry to hear about your problem.
Women and other minorities are more likely to end up in jail for protecting themselves from their predators by bringing a gun into the situation.
Let me fix that for you: “Women and other minorities are more likely to survive to end up in jail for protecting themselves from their predators by bringing a gun into the situation.”
“I do occasionally get the urge to shoot people giving this kind of useless advice putting responsibility on women…”
I didn’t put it there. You are the only one who can look after you. You’re the only one who is going to be there.
“…men are uncontrollable animals who need a gun aimed at their privates before they get no means no …”
Yes. Many of them are. Not all, but many.
Maybe you could fill Paul and Robert in as a public service. For their kid’s sake, if not theirs.
“Telling women they need a gun, tells predators they aren’t doing anything wrong, it’s screwed up.”
Telling women they need a gun is the simple truth. By what mental gymnastics does a woman training with a weapon tell a predator that what he’s doing is not wrong? It tells him he’s going to -die-, is what it tells him.
“A gun might be part of a woman’s toolkit but it’s still the rapist at fault and indicating anything else is rape culture at its worst.”
Again, how is being prepared to defeat an attacker some kind of admission of guilt for the target? Obviously it is the attacker’s fault. Anybody who says otherwise is clearly an idiot or another predator.
Hampus Eckerman on April 13, 2016 at 1:28 pm said: The Phantom: then some rude words.
That’s funny Hampus, your name does not appear to be JJ. I was not talking to you. And I decline your request, incidentally.
I will be more than happy to swear at you all day long in my own comments at the Soapbox. This is Mr. Glyer’s place, we should keep it nice for him.
I’ve grown quite fond of Dubliner cheese, which in cheesespace is somewhere between Cheddar and Swiss. And got a really good strong English Cheddar last time I was at Jungle Jim’s (big food store at a couple of locations in the Cincinnati area. I stopped in on my way back from Iowa after Thanksgiving last year. It may be getting time for an expedition.)
I used to buy a lot of Dubliner Cheddar cheese before I discovered Colliers.
My favorite cheese is Cantal, but it’s hard to obtain in the U.S.
Cabot Vintage Choice Cheddar (a very aged cheddar) never goes amiss with me.
Tasha
I hope the surgery goes well and that you make an excellent, and speedy, recovery. With any luck that may enable you to enjoy some good cheese in due course…
what.
Okay, I was going to address this to Phantom, but seeing as how he as demonstrated a complete lack of empathy for anyone not in his in-group that would be unproductive.
@Tasha:
Of all the appalling things I have seen Phantom say, this is one of the worst. Seeing him refer to your childhood sexual abuse (or the fact that 3-year-old you couldn’t access a gun, I’m not sure which), as your problem is awful and infuriating. I’m very sorry a) that your father did that to you, first and foremost, and b) that Phantom said that to you.
I don’t think the Phantom has the slightest idea how he comes across to decent people.
JJ on April 13, 2016 at 2:42 pm said: No, the solution to women getting molested is to teach men that it’s not okay to molest women — and when men see a guy doing this, for them to speak up and let the molester know that what he’s doing is not acceptable.
JJ, that is the dumbest thing I’ve seen in ages. They don’t know? You supercilious twerp.
The men who do this shit know it’s not okay. They do it anyway. And then they lie. And then they do it again. If some guy sees them do it, and tells them off, they lie. Then they are more careful not to be caught the next time they do it.
And when they finally, finally go to jail, they lie. And eventually they get out, and they DO IT AGAIN.
That is what they do. That is why other men never see them do it. Because they are craven, backstabbing, disgusting, animals.
And you are -helping- them, you astounding imbecile.
And it’s nice that you’re trying to attract some intelligent, rational commenters to your crazy troll blog
That’s what you think is intelligent and rational? That MOLESTERS do what they do out of ignorance? That’s really… something. They do it out of malice, and you are a moron.
Dawn Incognito on April 13, 2016 at 4:12 pm said: Okay, I was going to address this to Phantom, but seeing as how he as demonstrated a complete lack of empathy for anyone not in his in-group
Can you read? After all that stuff I just said, you come up with that?
Child abuse is the worst thing any human can do. It wasn’t her fault. I’m sorry that she suffered that.
There. Did that translate into your native language better?
But resisting abuse makes it the victim’s fault? Training with weapons makes it the victim’s fault? Fighting back makes it the victim’s fault? What the hell kind of thing is that to say?
Dawn
I entirely agree with your estimate of Phantom’s character; it seems to be par for his course.
I didn’t respond because his actions demonstrate both that he is beneath contempt, and that he enjoys being the centre of attention. He will say anything which he thinks will make him the centre of attention.
In my view, our armour, and our weapon, against that sort of malevolence is to ignore him, in much the same way that we ignore screaming toddlers who haven’t yet escaped the Terrible Twos stage.
Instead I suggest we focus on supporting Tasha in all the ways we can; I know little, and care less, about the phantom, but clearly our respect and support for Tasha is really freaking him out. I suggest we continue freaking him out.