Feghoot Winners Posted

The victors in the Washington Post’s feghoot contest were published in the Style Invitational column on December 24. As you know, Bob –

A little story that ends in an elaborate pun: It’s sometimes called a feghoot, named for a series of sci-fi tales by the pseudonymous Grendel Briarton, “Through Time and Space With Ferdinand Feghoot.”

Honestly, the four top finishers did nothing for me, but I liked several of the honorable mentions. For example —

Humphrey Bogart had several rather odd hobbies; one of them was collecting miniatures of Greek mythological characters. One day he was talking about his collection with fellow movie star Ray Milland. “You know, Broderick Crawford has always greatly admired them,” Milland said. “Yes, I know,” answered Bogie. “Tell you what: Give my wee gods to Brod, Ray.” (Mae Scanlan, Washington)

And, given the nature of the beast, it is only right to quote this runner-up as well:

If John Dryden were alive today and having lunch at McDonald’s, he would never order a hamburger: He believed that a bun is the lowest form of wheat. (Gary Crockett)

[Thanks to Martin Morse Wooster for the story.]

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3 thoughts on “Feghoot Winners Posted

  1. Last I looked I had not had a humorectomy so I cannot help but wonder how anybody could find any humor in either of these runner’s up.

  2. Maybe because even the humorless looks funnier in the context of the even more humorless.

    These could have been improved. The first one seems to be lacking a line in the setup in which it’s explained that Milland is Bogie’s executor. As for the second, it took me a moment to get it because of my own lack of literary knowledge. I’ve usually heard the last word of the original quote as “humor,” which is apparently a more common phrasing now, though “wit” seems to be the original form. Nor did I know that the line is attributed to Dryden.

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