183 thoughts on “Tool Talk”

1. I’m amazed that Finn actually thinks adding “in self defense” makes him look any less like a violent person with impulse-control problems, since grievous bodily harm is not an acceptable response “in self defense” to a verbal insult.

2. Also, I’m just going to repost the title of this post, so that I can admire the double entendre in it:

   Tool Talk

   *snort*

3. +10 Tool Talk

4. Remember, we lefties are so dangerous with our “words” and stuff, that beating us senseless is the only possible defense; so the “in self defense” was implicit all along.

5. Sheesh. ::eyeroll:: And no, that doesn’t improve Finn’s words at all.

   I wouldn’t hold my breath for Ries, of course.

6. I hope Robert D Ries has a jacket handy because it must have suddenly got super shady wherever he is…

7. Indeed, no, adding the words “in self defense” doesn’t in the least change the fact that what he’s describing isn’t self-defense, but violent assault in response to mere words.

   I won’t hold my breath waiting for Ries to even acknowledge this, much less apologize for it. As for admitting that, as feeble as the addition of those words is, they weren’t there originally, never even think it.

8. Orange Mike I notice the host doesn’t block your words. But then he only blocks dangerous words.

9. So, Hal, are you Robert’s left or right sock?

10. Remember, we lefties are so dangerous with our “words” and stuff, that beating us senseless is the only possible defense

    *sings* “Words are weapons, sharper than knives, makes you wonder how the other half dies…”

11. While I’m here I should say that it was me who ate all the cupcakes in the File770 office.

12. Woah, woah – people are very cross that I ate all those delicious cupcakes that had a note on them saying ‘for all the filers to share after a long day commenting on Pixel Scrolls’.

    Let me clarify.

    It was me who ate all the cupcakes in the File770 office IN SELF DEFENCE!

13. This link I give you has absolutely nothing to do with this or anything else covered in this here zine the past few years. NOTHING.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2018/04/20/it-is-too-bad-i-have-been-silenced/?utm_term=.737f310594dd

    It is also not at all relevant to Camestros’ blog either, which is why I’m not putting it there.

14. “Lefties inside, Lefties inside, every single one of us a Lefty inside…”

15. Camestros Felapton:

    I have eaten
    the cupcakes
    that were meant
    for the Filers

16. @JJ: IKR? Whatever happened to “sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me”? To “suck it up and don’t be such a wimp/girl”?

    I thought it was the “lefties” that were supposed to over-react to mean words and freak out?

    If being called, say, something resembling the word “Nazi” was grounds for beating them into a pulp, ol’ Rushbo would have been pulped decades ago when he started calling all the women who wanted equal treatment under the law “feminazis”. He’d be nothing but an invisible thin grease stain by now.

    Oh, sorry, Declan (both originally and now) said “beat them senseless”. Okay. I revise my earlier sentence to “He’d be completely senseless by now.”

17. they were delicious
    so sweet
    but would have been better if not so cold
    why were the cupcakes in the icebox anyway?
    it made them harder to find

18. Thank you everybody’s understanding with regard to the now consumed cupcakes.

    Unfortunately, eating all those frankly delicious cupcakes did not agree with my digestion. I may have made a bit of a mess in the File770 bathroom.

19. Apologies…

    Let me clarify that last post:

    I may have made a bit of a mess in the File770 bathroom IN SELF DEFENCE

20. All right, all right, BACK IT UP.

    We are not even to the second page of comments yet. We can not change the subject of a File 770 thread to food or linguistics until at least the second page of comments, maybe even the third page.

21. But…JJ… we’re only doing it in SELF DEFENSE!!!! How can you deny us? In 8593 C.E., self defense is sacred again!

22. I may have made a bit of a mess in the File770 bathroom IN SELF DEFENCE

    Paging the shoggoth to the bathroom, clean up needed.

23. *quietly deletes four paragraph comment about the etymology of “defence” vs. “defense”*

24. Seems the food, linguistics, and WCW parody comments begin much sooner when the Filers think the topic of the post is dull or pointless.

    But since we’re all FORCED to be here, we do it IN SELF DEFENSE!
    Still in style in 8831.

    @Mark-kitteh: Aw, Shoggoth doesn’t deserve that.

25. @Arifel–

    *quietly deletes four paragraph comment about the etymology of “defence” vs. “defense”*

    Brave and Noble, Arifel! Brave and Noble! Still so regarded here in 9100.

26. *Quietly asks Arifel if they’ll rewrite the four paragraph comment about the etymology of “defence” vs “defense” – in self defence*

27. I agree with Oneiros

28. Apologies that last message should have read: I agree with Oneiros IN SELF DEFENCE

29. Cupcakes should always have googly eyes. In fact, all food is better with googly eyes.

30. Words can of course hurt people.
    Case in point here Declan Finns words.
    They hurt his reputition quite bad.
    And no, reacting to insults with beating the person senseless is not selfdefence, it makes you a violent person, who is a danger to everyone else (or a little kid).
    In my opinion John Ringos public reaction to the whole affair hurt his reputition quite a bit. (This is true for a lot of people, see puppies, they did more selfharm to their reputition than their presumed enemys. That and them working together with Day)

31. In fact, all food is better with googly eyes.

    ….though it makes Cookie Monster vaguely concerned that he’s a cannibal.

32. “….though it makes Cookie Monster vaguely concerned that he’s a cannibal.”

    Well…

33. In self defense…I wonder how chilled plum cupcakes would taste.

34. Apologies for the cupcakes again. I was hungry after working in the garden. I needed somewhere to put my collection of writing pigments and the house was full. I realised I could add some horizontal planks onto the pailings around the garden. On those, I could put my extensive colourful pen paints.

    Mind you, I was only doing this to INK SHELF THE FENCE.

35. Oh sorry, I was just kidding about the deleted post in order to play into JJ’s joke. Indeed, it’s not the first time I’ve lied for effect in scroll comments – I believe you’ve caught me in my TWELFTH PRETENSE.

36. @Camestros To be fair, those fancy artisanal cupcakes were being kept in quite an insecure location, outside under canvas where anyone could walk in and be tempted. It’s not a great location for the ingredients either – last time I checked, the flour stocks are getting really damp and might not be edible any more. The outdoor baking thing might have worked for Mary Berry, but in this fictional ambiguous internet location, it’s just a disaster waiting to happen.

    Basically what I’m saying here is, I don’t think we should keep our SPELT IN TENTS.

37. I can construct theoretical scenarios where “beat them senseless in self-defence” is a valid, and possibly even sensible, response. NONE of them are purely verbal.

38. Wise words indeed Ariel. I should avoid such outdoor conflict – like the time I threw garden pixies at my Gallic neighbours – it was in ELF THE FRENCH.

39. This thread has been extremely helpful as I recently had to rearrange (and – gasp – clear out) several of my vertical book storage structures. It was a very emotional event for me and this outbreak of humour has helped me recover from the SHELF INTENSE.

40. I was hoping to get some gaming done yesterday with my local group but it all fell apart and we did not have a quorum to play. It was a case of ELF PRETENSE.

41. At least you weren’t throwing copious amounts of small change at them – who knows what they might have done with a WEALTH OF CENTS?

42. No shoving in the PUN OFFENSE corner now, there’s room for everybody. Apparently Camestros has cupcakes.

43. I wonder if the next revised version of that post is going to be something like “some dickheads decide ‘You’re a Ringo fan, therefore you’re [insert cliche lefty insults here]’ and when I say ‘Got a problem with John Ringo fans, dickhead?” they try to hit me over the head with a copy of Das Kapital, and therefore I have to beat them senseless in self defense.”

    The scenario needs those inserts, or something like them, to come anywhere near being justifiable even in the hypothetical.

    This queer leftist might ask “have you read that Ringo book?” and, if the other person said yes, asked his opinion of it, or what he liked about it.

    I can imagine saying “yes” to a question like “Do you have a problem with Trump supporters, <insert cliched insult toward older women>?” But first it would have to get from “oh, are you a John Ringo fan?” to “do you have a problem with that?” instead of “don’t know yet, I picked this up because he’s on the con gust list” or even “yeah, he’s my favorite writer.”

    Some people are looking for a fight. Most aren’t, or we wouldn’t have things like sf cons, where people socialize with large numbers of strangers.

44. I’m guessing that the Puppyland Congressional Budget Committee spends all of its time arguing over whether the bulk of their funds ought to go towards military defense or the Strategic Depends Reserve….

45. I’ll never understand how people can claim to confuse “self defense” with “self defence” when the difference between the two is so plainly audible.

46. I’m afraid the shoggoth may be excavating the men’s bathroom after Camestros’… regrettable incident after devouring the cupcakes; I hear distinct sounds of digging. It’s a clear case of DELVE IN GENT’S….

47. All this revision of the record and speculation on it is causing terrible shockwaves in the field of psychohistory. Not to mince words, you’re giving SELDON FAINTS.

48. If You Were A Self-Defense, My Love

49. Pixeled in Scroll Defense.

    Oh, like YOU weren’t going to say it.

    (Hammered in the… you know what? Never mind.)

50. “Don’t worry, I don’t expect a retraction, correction OR apology,”

    said Robert D. Ries,
    “because none is in the least necessary.”
    Fixed that for him.

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