Grumpy, Dopey and Darth

Whatever the internet was lacking in snarky comments about Disney’s acquisition of Lucasfilm, Grantland’s staff has now supplied it.

[Lucas] is perhaps a man we should not trust. But then he starts saying all the right things, that he wants nothing more than to pass Star Wars on to the next generation, and it’s time for new filmmakers to take over. He does everything but promise us all individual bantha rides to the double-lightsaber store. We begin to believe again. And we forget, if just for a minute, that George Lucas retroactively decided the Force is a blood disease….

7 thoughts on “Grumpy, Dopey and Darth

  1. I never understood the trublu Star Wars fan’s problem with the force being a sort of microbial lifeform inhabiting some people’s blood stream. Why was it better to believe it was just a magic power than only some smary, lucky people had. If it’s microchronkites (or whatever) then science might figure out how to inject everyone with them, and we could *all* by friggin’ Jedi! Who would need to fear a Darth Vader then … or kowtow to slimy green toad-people with German accents? So what’s the beef?

  2. Yeah, the Fandom Menace.

    Not a fan of the Prequels, which have gottern maybe a watch each on the DVDs the household has. THE KILLER SHREWS I’d say we watched five times, and compared it to TREMORS.

    I don’t wish to extend effort or concern about what George Lucus is going to do since I know what he’s done.

  3. “A glowing blue-haloed Leigh Brackett apparition?”

    I’d pay money for that — credits, quatloos, gold-pressed latinum, or even actual Heinleinian gold.

    “George Lucas lost his fucking mind in 1999 and ruined all of our lives forever.”

    I’d swear I actually heard someone say that in the theater lobby after The Attack of the Clones.

    “Cast…Neal McDonough…. Put Shannyn Sossamon in….

    Neal McDonough(*) (Lt. Hawk in Star Trek: First Contact, Dum-Dum Dugan in Captain America: the First Adventure)? No. Shannyn Sossamon (Lady Jocelyn in A Knight’s Tale)? Hell, yes!

    “Michael Bay is definitely on the phone with Bob Iger RIGHT NOW explaining his vision for the updated gold lamé bikini Megan Fox will wear as ‘Leia’s super-hot daughter.'”

    “Explode a planet? I can do more awesome than that!”

    Those who are upset (and I know there are some) needn’t worry. To paraphrase Humphrey Bogart, “We’ll always have the original trilogy on VHS.”

    (*) Neal McDonough is the most wooden and unemotional professional television/movie actor I personally have ever seen — I don’t know why he’s never been cast as a Vulcan, where his style would actually work. The only movie in which I’ve ever seen him act remotely Human was the aforementioned Captain America….

  4. With any luck, Disney will kill Star Wars not just Hollywood dead, but as truly dead as only a lot of red ink at the bottom of the page can make it.

    Of course, with the disappointing relaunch of Star Trek (instead of going where no Trek has gone before), I could hope for the same thing to befall that franchise too. No such luck — the viewers seem to love the new testosterone soaked, adolescent version of Star Trek.

  5. And after the disappointment of Prometheus, if they can find a way to do a crossover of Aliens, Star Wars and Star Trek there can be (insofar as the box office is concerned) the anti-Avengers, and we can kiss off three franchises at once!

  6. ALIENS MEET ZOMBIES has a weird sound to my mind as a crossover. I once suggested that Little ” This was greeted the same way my idea forca sequel called HONEY I FREEZE DRIED THE CHILDREN.

    Yeah, the Star Wars Universe needs a flesh eating zombie. An Ewok zombie.

Comments are closed.