By Ingvar: Trigger Snowflake walked through the doors to the Coffee Emporium, it was definitely time for a lunch cuppa. He’d been amply assisted by Drip-Matic 3000 in getting his morning cup of coffee, but now it was time for something delicious, from the makers and machines skillfully tended by Mx. Ologist.
“Sheriff Snowflake!”
“Ah, Mx. Ologist. Good day to you!”
“I have prepared a special blend for you to try, today. It is a mix of dark-roast High Plains Martian, and a small amount of blond-roast Swedish coffee, from Earth. Should pair well with one of Barbara’s special danishes, with the chocolate on.”
“Thank you, Mx. Ologist, that does indeed sound delightful. Could I have a copy of the Systems Literature Letters of Comment, as well?”
“Certainly, it will be with you in a few minutes.”
:::
> Overheard in a hotel near LunaCon — by Q. Ravenform
>
> It is said that not only did Javier Finch go to Luna, despite his
> dis-invitation, he was also spotted in the foyer of a nearby hotel.
>
> As rumours have it, he was approached by a woman, wearing a fabulous
> fascinator, who had a multitude of things to say to him, none of them
> good.
>
> Apparently, one of the things she wished for him was a long life,
> mostly interrupted by stepping on Brio-Mek.
>
> No actual report of the woman’s identity is forthcoming.
:::
“Sheriff Snowflake!”
“Good day, Ms. Dimatis.”
“I see you are perusing the Letters of Comment?”
“Yes, I think yourself and beloved Coraline have finally gotten me into the habit.”
“Did you see the LoC from Q. Ravenform?”
“Oh, yes, apparently Javier Finch was spotted on Luna, during LunaCon.”
“I have heard, but I am not sure it is true, that the lady with the fabulous fascinator was actually Jill Werner.”
“But? Doesn’t she LoC as Q. Ravenform?”
“She does, indeed.”
“How curious. One wonders why she didn’t just say she wore the fabulous fascinator?”
“Oh, you know Lunarian libel laws. They’re all over the place.”
“Can’t say I do, I have only had to bring one suit of law to Luna, and that was plenty for me.”
“Well, at least some seem to have had, on the balance, a good time there.”
:::
> My SysLiCon adventure — by Morrigan ni Leabhar
>
> Luna is far from Mars, where I live. But, SysLiCon is such an event
> that now that it was closer than last year, I felt I had to go.
>
> I started my travels on the interplanetary liner “Drag Betty II”,
> boarding at Phobos, and offboarding at Luna City. I had booked a cabin
> in “steersperson” class, but actually got upgraded to “gentles” class
> (not quite as good as the first class cabins, but it was still pretty
> good). My upgrade also gave me access to the “gentles and scholars”
> mess hall, where three buffets were served every daycycle, one for
> breaking fast, one for mids, and one for lates. The food was very very
> good.
>
> Other than having a lot of time to read and write, the travel was
> pretty uneventful. I did complete a minor poetic cycle, which should
> now be available on POAOU, for those that partake in non-commercial,
> for-the-love-of-poetry, commentary and poetry.
>
> When I arrived at LunaCon, I was overwhelmed, this was after all my
> first SysLiCon. So many people! So many fabulous clothes! Such a long
> queue to registration!
>
> The queue was surprisingly quick, though. And gave rise to many an
> interesting conversation. One of those who joined the queue when I did
> was a lawyer, there on Luna. Emmanuel, if you read this, ‘Hi!’.
>
> I went to many panel discussions, which were all very interesting. I
> cannot possibly do them justice in this short a form. But rest assured
> that I am more than happy to have been to every single one of them.
>
> While I was there, I did observe one curious incident. A woman,
> wearing a wondrous small hat was yelling a stream of creative insults
> at a man. That, in and of itself, was not too surprising. What was,
> was that she kept it up for three, maybe four, minutes, without once
> repeating herself. Such a masterful command of Common is seldom seen,
> and even more rarely demonstrated in such a fashion. Brava!
>
> Unfortunately, on the way back, I (as many others) ended up testing
> positive for SOVID, this somewhat annoying disease that has been going
> around this last half-decade. But, it was a mild case, and I could
> self-isolate in my cabin on the way back. And the purser kindly
> brought me three meals per day, after I’d selected what I wanted from
> a video feed of the buffet.
:::
“Well,” said Trigger, “this all seems quite exciting.”
“Yes, I have tickets to the next SysLiCon, the one on Rhea.”
“I should inquire if beloved Coraline would be interested.”
“Oh, I am sure she would be.”
“Well, as usual, Ms. Dimatis, thank you for the chat. But, alas, I need to return to my patrolling.”
By Ingvar: Trigger Snowflake was, as was his late morning habit, strolling down Main Street in his beloved Fort Corallium, nodding hello to shop keepers starting their day and to other citizens, who happened to stroll by. It was a glorious day, the Jupiter-shine bright and clear in the sky.
Towards the end of his morning patrol, Trigger stopped, as usual, by the Coffee Emporium, for a quick bite and a cup of delicious coffee. He’d been a regular at the Emporium under its prior proprietor, now his wife, and had with her blessing continued his custom under its new management.
“Ms Dimatis, Mx Ologist, a glorious morning to both of you. If I could bother you for the Cafe du Jour, and if possible, a cheese sandwich on sourdough?”
“Certainly,” said Barbara, “Anthrop, would you make Sheriff Snowflake a cuppa, and bring a sandwich? I’ll take proprietor’s privilege and have a chat. If you don’t mind?”
“By no means, Ms Dimatis, it is as ever pleasant to engage with you in conversation.”
“So, have you seen the weird constitutional changes for the Systems Literature Society? I mean, that had its first reading at LunaCon?”
“Ms Dimatis, you know as well as I do, that SysLiSoc is more beloved Coraline’s domain than mine.”
“I know, but I need an outside perspective. So, what the proposal is, is to change the definitions of the Genre Singer categories, both Fan Singer and Pro Singer.”
“Oh? Well, doesn’t sound too controversial, so far.”
“But that’s just it. Since time immemorial, the definition of a Pro Singer has been that of one who records title songs for dramatizations of poetic cycles.”
“Again, doesn’t sound too weird.”
“But, under the new definition, if I were to record a song, and put it out for sale, I would be classed as a professional!”
“Again, doesn’t sound too weird. You would be recording something that is for sale. Sounds like a professional activity to me.”
“But I would not be recording enough to make a living from it?”
“Well… Under the old definition, would it be classed as professional?”
“No, since it’s not been commissioned by a publisher, as a title song for a dramatisation.”
“And, perchance, would Urbel’s sideline of singing and recording the songs of other people, at a steady hourly rate count as professional?”
“Under the proposed new rules, sure. Under the old rules, that we are all familiar with, no. They’re clearly not commissioned by a publisher, for the purpose of using as a title song.”
“Dear Ms Dimatis, based only on what you have said, it sounds to me as if the old rules were circumscribing ‘professional’ too narrowly. It may be that the new ones cirumscribe it too widely, though.”
“I can get you the written forms of both old and new, if that would help?”
“I strongly suspect that both will be waiting for me, at the dinner table. But, thank you.”
:::
At home, Coraline was busy preparing dinner, mulling over the recently-adopted first reading for the new definition of pro and fan singers, for the SysLiCon Prizes.
She was not entirely sure what she thought of the proposed changes. At a first glance, the new definitions felt more correct, but she had listened to her dear friend, Barbara, arguing against the change, saying how unfair it was to those who only made a small amount of money from selling recordings that had previously not landed them in the “pro” category.
Ah, well, Trigger would soon be home and be delighted to act as a sounding board for her, as she verbally explored these ideas.
:::
As Trigger was walking home, how wearable communicator beeped.
“Sheriff Snowflake, how can I help?”
“Hiya Trigger, Urbel here.”
“Oh, hi. What’s up?”
“I know this is a bit out of the blue, and borderline misusing official communicators. But, I have a thing I need to talk through with you. And if Coraline wants to chip in, I think that would be useful, this is all Systems Literature stuff, you know.”
“I’ve just finished patrolling for the day, why don’t you come over? I think tonight is Synthechicken a la Mare Silentium. I’ll ask Coraline to set a third set. I even have a few bottles of Martian Inter-Planetary Ale, if you would like some?”
“Sounds great, Trigger. I’ll be at yours in half an hour.”
:::
As Trigger walked up the stairs, to the Snowflake apartment over the Sheriff’s Office, he called up.
“Beloved Coraline! I spoke to Urbel, he wants a chinwag. He’s on his way over!”
“Oh, thank you! I wanted to talk to him as well. I will set a third place!”
He sat down, to take his boots off and hang his gun belt in the vault by the stairs. He gave Coraline a hug, then sat down in the sofa, waiting for Urbel to arrive. Not ten minutes later, there was a loud knock on the front door.
He headed down the stairs, opened the small hatch in the door, to see who was waiting outside.
“Hello, Urbel. Dinner is almost ready, feel free to hang your laser revolver in the office vault, my beloved Coraline is not entirely fond of having firearms at the dinner table.”
“No problem, Trigger. I guess it’s the standard Sheriff lock?”
“Sure is. Coraline, darling! Urbel’s here!”
Laser revolver safely stored, they both headed up the stairs, greetings exchanged, and dinner eaten in silence.
“So, Sheriff Scrogginski, you wanted to talk?”, Coraline said.
“Yes, it’s this whole re-arrangement of the singer categories. As you know, I have been a finalist for fan singer a few years, now. And as far as I can tell, if this change goes through, I will be classed as a pro?”
“That is my understanding. Trigger, do you know?”
“Well, I was speaking to Ms Dimatis about this very thing, earlier today. And the conclusion we reached is that, since Urbel is paid for his recordings, yes, he would now fall under the professional category.”
“Thanks, Trigger. Well, Urbel, as you can hear, we both believe that to be true.”
“Yeah. That is what I thought. I am not sure how I feel about this. I mean, clearly, it will make it less likely for me to win. But, also, it is a bit of an ego boost, realising there are rules that makes me a professional singer.”
At this point, Drip-O-Matic 3000 beeped, signaling that the after-dinner coffee was ready.
With a cup of coffee in hand, Urbel leaned back in the recliner, while Trigger and Coraline sat side by side in the sofa.
“Thank you both, after some consideration, I think I am more flattered by being considered a professional, even if that means my competition for the Systems Literature Prize for Best Singer will be slightly harder. It will, if nothing else, mean that even getting to be a finalist will mean so much more.”
Don JT Michaels woke up, to see that the annual Systems Literature Convention would be held at Luna, this upcoming year. Being the successful poet that he was, he was definitely planning to attend. If nothing else, the membership and travel could of course be taken as a business expense.
He wrote a note to his assistant, to ensure that membership tickets were sorted, for everyone, had breakfast, then pondered the next poem in his epic cycle.
:::
With Trigger safely at home, doing whatever sheriffs do when they’re not patrolling, Coraline Snowflake was relaxing at her former establishment, sipping a cup of quite excellent dark roast from the Martian highlands. Opposite her was Barbara Dimatis, her former protégé and current owner of the Coffee Emporium, Fort Corallium’s premier coffee house and poetry salon.
“What do you think, Barbara?” “About?” “Oh, you haven’t read? It seems Javier Finch has been dis-invited from SysLiCon on Luna” “Really? Well, I am not entirely surprised after how the SysLiCon Awards were handled last year.” “No, but it is quite unprecedented.” “That it is, Coraline. Would you like another danish, these have chocolate in the middle? Anthrop, would you fetch us two danishes?” “Oh? Is he a new employee?”
“They. Yes, Anthrop started two days ago, working primarily as a coffee extractor, but we’re also considering starting serving bespoke cocktails, as they are a well-known bartender.”
:::
Later in the evening, Coraline came home, to a freshly arrived edition of “The Systems Literature Society’s Letters of Comment” and started reading.
> From the desk of Don JT Michaels
> Greetings, as you are probably all aware, LunaCon, the SysLiCon on
> Luna, is coming upon us. I have, of course, secured a convention
> membership, back when memberships opened. As I wanted to finalise my
> schedule, I reached out to the convention organisers, to ask what
> panels I had been assigned.
> You would not believe the reply I got back! A form, to fill out, to
> signal my areas of interest, my previous panel experience, and the
> like. Me? Why would they need that information? They know who I am.
> And clearly SysLiCons have, multiple times, managed to put me on
> panels without this.
> I am not sure what has happened here. But I am disappointed. I am a
> poet, writing epic poem cycles, to the adulations of all. Why would
> they not want me on panels? I do not understand.
Coraline scratched her head in confusion. She had attempted to be a panelist at the Luna SysLiCon and while a somewhat cumbersome process, it was pretty straight-forward. You told the conference organisers what you were willing to speak on, any panels you could propose, and eventually listed your (ranked) interest in the panels that they’d decided on.
Surely DJTM was capable of doing that? Or at least had an administrative assistant that could?
:::
The following day, Coraline was back at the Coffee Emporium, talking to Barbara, as she did almost every day.
“Well, this is leading up to be an interesting SysLiCon. We have the whole disinviting of Javier Finch. Then this weird thing from Don JT Michaels. And rumours have it that the Systems Literature Association’s annual meeting is going to have an agenda of hereto unseen proportions.”
“Yes, dear Coraline. You are entirely correct. I am actually sad that I will not be able to attend. The Emporium takes its tender care, as you well know.” “Yes, me and Trigger actually have memberships, but it seems he’s needing to stay behind, here in Fort Corallium.” “It is never easy. Although, I did speak to Anthrop this morning, and it seems they have a newly composed tipple for us to try. Would you like a taste?” “I would. May I?” “Go ahead.” “Mx Ologist, if you would please delight the palates of me and Barbara with you new creation?”
“Ms. Dimatis, thank you for the cuppa. It smells absolutely delicious.”
“Thank you, Trigger. It is the new house blend and roast.” “Thankfully, all things Mercury should now be well behind us.” “Yes, it is such a relief that SysLiCon is back on track.”
With a wide and determined stride, Coraline entered the Coffee Emporium.
“Trigger! Barbara! You will ṉot believe what I just got my hands on!”
“Darling Coraline,” Trigger said, “what could you possibly mean?” “This! This here document. I have had it fast-translated from Mercurian, so it is not fully accurate.” “Could you summarize it for us?” asked Barbara.
“Well. Let me sit down and have a few sips of that delicious-smelling coffee first.”
Barbara waved her hand in a complicated gesture and Svein, the new server, quickly brought a fresh cup over and placed it in front of Coraline, who took a cautious sip of the hot liquid, then let a quiet sigh of pleasure escape over her lips.
“Summarize? Yes. You know how SysLiCon was held on Mercury last year? To the great consternation of many. But, this here document is possibly even worse than that whole debacle. The document I showed you? Well, it is from the Quicksilver City Business Committee, detailing a plan for how Mercury in general and Quicksilver City specifically will become system leaders in poetry, using the intellectual property of SysLiCon, the SysLiCon Awards and the new Poetry Centre that was built for last year’s SysLiCon.”
“But,” said Barbara, “Can they do that?”
“Well,” answered Trigger, “It’s not entirely clear, one way or the other. Mercury have always had a loose observation of the trademark, copyright, and patent laws of other countries. So from that perspective, it’s understandable that they would try something like this.”
“But,” said Coraline, “What can we do?”
“I don’t know,” Barabara said. “There may be something in the SysLiCon statutes to block them? And they did mention that they’ll try to get SysLiCon back to Mercury in five years. This means they’ll need to put a bid in for the planet selection, in three years. So, if we can fast-track some language around eligibility for planet to host SysLiCon, before that, we may at least stop that.”
The three of them slowly sipped their coffee, eyes downcast.
“Aha!” exclaimed Trigger. “If we require planets to have elections that feature more than a single party for at least five out of the last six, national elections? That should in the general case make sure SysLiCon only takes place on democratic planets. Let me draft a motion for the Annual Meeting at the next SysLiCon!”
Trigger Snowflake and his wife Coraline were taking brunch at the Coffee Emporium when Barbara Dimatis, the proprietor, came over.
“I am so sad!” Barbara said. “Why is that, dear?” Coraline replied. “The finalists for the SysLiCon Award for Best Poetry Salon have been announced. And I had really hoped that the Emporium would have made it on this year.” “What? But? I know at least two dozen people who said they nominated the Emporium for the Salon category!” “I know. Well, we may see it in the data, once the Mercury SysLiCon is done.”
Nine months later, again during brunch, Barbara Dimatis approached the Snowflake table.
“You remember, a last year, when I was surprised that the Emporium was not a finalist for Best Salon?” “Yes, you were quite upset. Wasn’t she, Trigger?” “Well, the nomination statistics were just published.” “What? SysLiCon was over months ago! Aren’t the statistics usually available right at the end?” “Normally, yes. But, this time it took months. And looking through them, I noticed that The Coffee Emporium was explicitly disqualified from the Best Salon category!” “Oh, no! That must feel horrible for you!”
A few months before SysLiCon, on Mars.
Olaus Frond started to open the package he had just received. It should be the nominations for some of the SysLiCon award categories. As he flipped the first tab, with a hand trembling from anticipation and eagerness, he had a sinking feeling in the stomach. As the package opened, a small cloud of very small paper confetti puffed out of the box. He quickly peered inside, hoping this was only the normal detritus that paper collects.
His stomach now having the same feeling as unexpected free-fall, he saw that there was no such luck. A small portion, maybe a tenth, maybe a sixteenth, of the ballots has simply fallen apart during interplanetary transport.
Not knowing what to do about this novel situation, Olaus simply sighed and started normalizing and tabulating the nominations within the categories he were responsible for.
Around the same time, Luna Javier Finch was having an early dinner, when there was a knock on his door. He sighed, stood up and walked to the door.
“Who is it?” “Mr Finch? There is a hypercom for you.” “Hypercom? Who?” “They did not say. Please open.”
Incredibly perplexed, he opened the door. A courier extended a pad.
“Please sign here, Mr Finch”
Once he’d signed, he was handed a box, with an attached handset. He closed the door, brought the box to his kitchen table, then spoke into the handset.
“Javier Finch, to whom am I speaking?” “Ah, Mr Finch. A delight. I am Felix, the mayor of Sunspinner City, the host city for QuicksilverCon. I understand you are the function head for awards?” “Ah… Felix… Yes, that is correct.” “Good, good. Well, it so happens that, as you know, we have promised to provide interplanetary transport for every finalist, for every award.” “Yes, I am aware.” “Good, good. Now, there are some issues here. You see, some of the people we suspect may end up as finalists are on the No Land list here on Mercury. And you can see that this puts us in a bit of a pickle?” “It sounds problematic, yes.” “So, it would be good if none of them end up as finalists. It’d be SUCH a shame if they fly all the way to Mercury, just to have continue inwards, wouldn’t you say?” “Er, well, the integrity of the voting process…” “We here on Mercury are well aware of voting processes. How do you think I have won the mayoral election the last six times?” “But…” “Good, we understand each other. The hypercom will print the No Land list when we hang up. Bye!”
As Javier slowly placed the handset back in its cradle, the box buzzed, and several sheets of paper came out of a slot.
“Hmm”, Javier thought, “let me have a quick look… Barbara Dimatis?”
Barbara Dimatis sat down after a long week of working and answering the question ‘but why were you disqualified’ with ‘I have no idea’. She opened her copy of “The Solar System Times”, one of the system’s premier news sources.
System Literature Convention Awards Cloaked in Scandal!
The annual System Literature Convention, an event belowed by poetry afficionados throughout the system, has been rocked by a substantial scandal. This was revealed due to a careful study of the statistics required to be published for the awards process.
Among those wronged were Barbara Dimatis, of Fort Corallium, in Jupiter orbit. Ms Dimatis is the proprietor of the Coffee Emporium, a venue that has been holding celebrated poetry salons for the last few years.
Ms Dimatis has been somewhat controversial, in that she has a strict ban on Sulphur artists attending her salon. We have not been able to reach Ms Dimatis for a comment. Other artists who have spoken out include Gail Newman, who was nominated both in both Best Poem and Best Epic Cycle.
Mx Newman says that their poem “Dark and Stormy” was nominated for Best Poem, but is also part of their poetry collection “Nights”, was excluded from the Best Poem category and then the collection failed to get to finalist status in Best Epic Cycle. “It is a shame”, they said, “that they didn’t ask me, I would have preferred Dark and Stormy stand on its own, leaving Best Epic Cycle to other worthy contenders”.
When asked about what happened, the person if charge of the awards process, Javier Finch, only said “We have only applied the rules and laws under which we had to operate.”
Future developments will be reported by “The Times”, as they unfold and are verified.
Trigger picked up the latest dispatches from the Snowflake mailbox, before setting off to the Coffee Emporium, where his beloved Coraline would be engaged in conversation with Ms Dimatis.
He walked through the swinging doors, saw his wife and Barbara at a table, walked over and sat down.
“I brought the latest Comments. Let me hand them round, so we can read and react.”
Not three minutes later, Trigger was distracted from his reading by Ms Dimatis loudly inhaling. He looked up at her.
“Hmm?” “Oh, Trigger, this is astounding!” “What? What?” inquired Coraline. “Here! See! It is a Letter of Comment from the SysLiCon Brand Office. It seems that they have admonished and dismissed both Olaus Frond and Javier Finch, for their involvement with the Awards debacle at QuicksilverCon.” “Hm, well, that is well-deserved”, said Trigger, before taking a sip of quite excellent coffee.
A round-table conversation of the Elemental Smart-Alec Club, planetary day 7928
Rick ven Fleerbo: I guess you have all heard that them there Anti-Sulphurists are trying to Going-Away me. I am not sure what imagined grief they have with me, this time. Probaby as made-up as everything else they’ve chased me for.
John ven Fengsler: I hear you. I have seen it myself. There’s been many LoCs that have tried to make you a Persion Without Grater in the literary magazines.
Anna min Scorch: I cannot believe the things they make up. Chasing after innocent Sulphurists for no reason what-so-ever. We should write angry Letters of Comment, denouncing all Going-Awayists!
RvF: Yes. It is all so bad.
***
A Letter of Comment, published in Smelly Compounds
Venus, planetary day 7931, from the pen of Anna min Scorch
Fellow Sulphurists!
We need to do something! As late as yesterday, my oldest child arrived home from school, telling me that they’re forced to study hydro-carbons in chemistry class! Hydro! Carbons! Not a single pure yellow atom of Sulphur in that! Only icky hydrogen and dirty dirty carbon!
Please, fellow Artistes. Join me in a letter-writing campaign to have my oldest child’s chemistry teacher fired! It is for a good cause! These things must not be tolerated! Something must be DONE!
***
Trigger Snowflake walked down the Main Street of Fort Corallium, doffing his hat towards, and greeting, his fellow citizens. It had been a quiet few weeks. Not much happening, locally. In the larger Solar System, however, things were not as quiet as they could be. The Saturn Federation had been making noise about the moons of Uranus. To the point of sending liner ships into Uranian orbit.
No matter, Trigger’s responsibility was Fort Corallium, not the system at large. However, other members of the Sheriff’s Union may end up in trouble because of it.
He tried, as much as he could, leave these intrusive thoughts behind him, as he was just about to finish off a day of patrolling the neighbourhood, making Fort Corallium safe for law-abiding citizens. And soon, it was time to return home, to say a hearty “good evening” to Mrs. Snowflake. Trigger could not quite make up his mind if that “good evening”, the customary “sleep well”, or maybe the first “good morning” was the best part of the day. But it probably was one of them.
***
Coraline was down at the Coffee Emporium, just finishing a last cup and reading through this week’s selected Letters of Comments from her clip-and-file service. After sorting through them, one caught her eye for immediate and detailed reading.
\[Cut from “Venewsian News”, LoC column\] Uranianism is a Rock-Planet
Sponsored Misconception
by Briney ven Pommeln
I have been asked multiple times, as a resident on the Saturnian moons, been asked how I view the recent liberation mission of the Saturnian space force to Uranus.
Well, it is quite simple. There is no such thing as a Uranus nationality. Uranus was until very recently a member planet of the Saturnalian Federation. It has been a part of Saturnalian national identity for centuries.
The so-called Uranian Identity is manufactured and sponsored by state actors from rocky planets. Living on the moon of a gas planet, I know that they are not to be trusted, and all we can do to liberate the Uranian moons is right, just, and should be done.
Only two weeks ago, there were fervent pleas from the moon of Miranda, to the Saturnial parliament, to come and liberate them from their Uranian oppressors. And now that the Saturnalian fleet is on its way, we can look forward to a Uranus, returned to the Saturnalian crowd.
Peace to our gas giants, in our time.
***
Coraline dropped her stack of papes down onto the table, as she audibly gasped.
“Coraline, dear, what is it?” enquired Barbara.
“Barbara, I have just read the most horrible thing, from the QuicksilverCon Guest of Honour.”
“Briney ven Pommeln? What’s he written now?” “Oh, I cannot possibly summarise it quickly, please read yourself!”
Ms. Dimatis read through the clipped LoC, then also audibly gasped.
“Oh my. I wonder if QuicksilverCon will have to disinvite him, now?”
Trigger Snowflake was shaken out of his tired musings by the voice of his beloved wife Coraline. “Yes, Coraline?” he replied.
“Are you packed? You know we’re heading to Mars tomorrow, for SysLiCon.”
“I have not forgotten, beloved wife. I only have my holiday hat left to pack. Just finishing up some paperwork, then I’ll come to bed.”
* * *
The next morning, fast duly broken, the couple walked to the Fort Corallium spaceport, where they boarded the small vessel provided for Sheriff Snowflake. They’d have to reimburse the Solarian Police for the fuel used, but it was definitely worth the cost for having private transport to the Mars SysLiCon.
It was a momentous SysLiCon. For the first year, Mercury was bidding for an upcoming SysLiCon and it stood between Luna on one hand and Mercury on the other.
The general feeling in the Literature community was that while it would be interesting to have SysLiCon on Mercury, it was not safe for the bulk of the SysLiCon attendees.
And the initial processing of the absentee ballots would begin while they were in transit. Naturally, Trigger and Coraline were eagerly awaiting any and all news beams.
* * *
“Oh. Trigger, have you seen?”
“No, what?”
“A telefacsimile transmission just arrived. It seems as if OlympiCon have dropped Urbel as chairperson for the con-meeting.”
“That’s unusual. Why?”
“I am not actually quite sure. But, you’ll have to enquire when we get to Mars.”
* * *
“Trigger, there are more updates! Apparently, he has also been dropped from the SysLiCon-on-Luna bid committee.”
“This is very unlike Sheriff Scrogginski. I will need to talk to him, once we get to Mars.”
* * *
Trigger expertly maneouvered the ship down onto the landing pad. They still had a few hours before the official opening of OlympiCon, the Mars Systems Literature Convention.
Trigger debarked, then helped Coraline to step down on the landing pad.
“Dearest Coraline, would you excuse me? I need to find Sheriff Scrogginski and see if I can get any clarity in what has been happening.”
“Darling Trigger, you do that. Come back and tell me, once clarity has been achieved.”
* * *
“Urbel! Urbel! It’s me, Trigger.”
“Ah, Sheriff Snowflake, a familiar face!”
“So, this whole thing? What happened?”
“Well, as you know, I was on the SysLiCon-on-Luna bid committee. And as such, I was an observer for the initial processing of the absentee future site election. As such, I used the bid committee observer privilege to get some data from the absentee ballots. Specifically, the planet of domicile for the absentee voters.”
“Hm, so far, I see nothing untowards?”
“No, neither did I. So, then, I sent out a Letter of Comment, with the planetary domicile breakdown, highlighting that almost 7 out of 10 were domiciled on Mercury.”
“Well… The on-site voting in the future site selection has a deadline in three days?”
“Yes.”
“But, Urbel, culd this not be construed as election interfering?”
“I very clearly sent the LoC as myself as a private individual.”
“Nonetheless, you are well-known as being the chairperson, and you are, well were, on a bid committee.”
“Yes. In retrospect, I suppose it was not as well-advised as I thought at the time.”
* * *
Coraline walked through the main hall of OlympiCon, soaking up the heady atmosphere of literature discussions, happening all around her. It felt so good being back at an actual convention, after all the SOVID issues.
She suddenly stopped, staring at a book propped up at one of the fan tables. It was titled “An Elemental Mess – a History of Sulphurian Actions in Literature”.
She picked the volume up, and only then did she see who was also standing by the table.
“Barbara! I did not know you were here. It is so good to see you!”
“Coraline! I see you have seen my new book. I was inspired to write it, after the whole thing when they thought I was Trigger. I just didn’t know what to call it.”
* * *
A few days later, Trigger, Coraline, and Ms Dimatis were taking coffee in one of the convention cafés.
“Ms Dimatis”, Trigger said, “did you know that danishes are actualy called Viennas in Denmark?”
“Yes, Trigger, I knew that. They were apparently first made by a baker from Vienna, who had moved to Copenhagen. Oh! Look! They’re just about to announce the results of the future site election!”
“I wonder how it all went? Ah, yes, I did speak to Urbel. Apparently about 70% of the absentee ballots were from Mercury.”
“Oh, if that had been published in… Wait, is that why he was dropped as chair?”
“Yes, apparently neither OlympiCon nor the SysLiCon-on-Luna concoms thought it was a good look, having someone so well-known doing something like that, even as a private individual.”
“Well, looks like Mercury won the election. So, SysLiCon will be on Mercury in two years.”
“Good for them. I hope they will get many off-planet attendees. But I for one will not go, as I fear being that close to the Sun.”
Was the year too heavy, deep, and real? Yes, but it was also rich in creativity, humor, and shared adventures. It’s a gift and privilege for me to be continually allowed to publish so many entertaining posts. Thanks to all of you who contributed!
… Like many fans, I had tried my hand with writing, especially as a teenager. I wrote notes, drew weird aliens, and even wrote a novel which will never see the light of day. But during all this I did noodle, consistently, with several recurring characters and a story line. It shifted and changed, of course, as I matured and different interests came into my life, and eventually they just settled in the back of my mind.
… Once when [Tim] Powers was being interviewed at an SF convention someone asked “Do you actually believe in this stuff?” He said “No. But my characters do.” As Gordon Bennett wrote, and Frank Sinatra sang, “This is all I ask, this is all I need.”
… I’m a huge reader of novels, but not that big on short fiction. But the last few years, I’ve done a personal project to read and review as many Novellas as I could (presuming that the story Synopsis had some appeal for me). …
… The mission of SAFF is to keep the factual progress of space exploration out there for our community and to help individual Worldcons and other conventions in dealing with the arrangements and funding of space experts as special guests.
… Another solved mystery was that of the vanishing pancake. A friend of mine, by profession police officer, was standing at his stove, frying pancakes. As we both did with pancakes, we flipped them around in the air. So did my friend on this day.
His mystery was that the pancake never came back down. It vanished. There was no trace of it….
Eli Grober’s “Opening Lines Rewritten for a Pandemic” in The New Yorker humorously changes the beginnings of famous books to suit life as we knew it in the plague year of 2020…. Filers answered the challenge to add to the list. Here is a collection from yesterday’s comments….
The Dark Tower I: The Gunslinger by Stephen King
The Man in Black fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed, being careful to maintain a distance of at least six feet.
… It was the Jeopardy! gameshow display screen one saw all the time on television, in real life, just yards away, here inside the cool Sony studios. Six rows across with the categories, columns of five numbers under each. To the right of the large display was Alex Trebek’s podium, and nearby were the three contestant stations.
There were sixteen of us here, and before the end of the day, all of us but one would have our thirty minutes of fame — or infamy — in this very special place.
… The model took off and rose straight up for maybe 100 feet or so before the second stage kicked in, but then there was trouble. Instead of continuing its upward flight, the thing veered to the right and zoomed away horizontally, slightly descending all the while. It went directly over a house across the street and continued on, neatly bisecting the span between two tall trees behind the house. And then it was gone from sight. I remember that my uncle gave me a quizzical look and asked, “Was it supposed to do that?”…
El (Galadriel) is pissed off. Her classmate Orion just rescued her for the second time –needlessly. She’s capable, more than capable, El’s powerful – El, power, get it? Get it?…
On the evening of Wednesday, June 16, 2021, the Fantastic Fiction at KGB Reading Series, hosted by Ellen Datlow and Matthew Kressel, presented authors Seanan McGuire and Nadia Bulkin in livestreamed readings on YouTube. (Neither reader is running for Mayor of New York.)
This is the 16th month of virtual readings, in place of in-person reading at the eponymous bar in the East Village in Manhattan, noted Kressel. New York City may be “open,” added Datlow, but they don’t yet feel comfortable “going into the crowd” at the Bar for at least a few more months….
Is there a science fiction movie character you want to smell like? Forget Swamp Thing, c’mon, he’s not in Fragrance X’s catalog. Otherwise, there’s no end of superhero and genre branded colognes you can buy.
There was a post a while ago on twitter that asked, “So what motivates y’all to continue entering bids to host Worldcons? Genuinely curious.”
And I responded with, ”I think there are some great bids out there like Glasgow 2024 that you can genuinely tell they are enthusiastic and want to put on a good show. Working on Dublin was like that for me as well. I am not saying they are perfect but the excitement is really important.”
But that is just the tip of the iceberg of what I wanted to say…
… Now back to Connery. The film would leave him with such a bad experience that claimed he the production of the film and the film’s final quality was what he caused his decision to permanently retire from filmmaking, saying in an interview with The Times that, “It was a nightmare. The experience had a great influence on me, it made me think about showbiz. I get fed up dealing with idiots.”
Space Jam: A New Legacy is a fun-free synthetic entertainment substitute. Its many writers (six are credited) created a screenplay from artificial sweeteners, high fructose corn syrup, and gas….
… Datlow asked Robinson, “How can you be so optimistic?” He replied that his mother was; she felt that it was our duty to be optimistic and to help people….
… I began to wonder whatever became of this marvelous actor and so, before retiring for the evening, I started to research Mr. Persoff’s whereabouts on my computer. As luck would have it, I found him and wrote him a rather hasty letter of personal and lifelong admiration. To my shock and utter astonishment, he responded within five minutes….
Stormm began her humorous series about the misdirected emails she gets from Writer X in August and has done 17 regular and two bonus installments. It swirls together comedy, horror, and the pitfalls of being a writer.
The purpose of this presentation is to place Tolkien’s theory of mythopoeic fiction in dialogue with fantasy series by T. Kingfisher in order to argue that her work is feminist and mythopoeic. While there are a number of elements of Kingfisher’s fiction that are relevant to my purpose, I’ll be focusing on two: her version of Faërie and system of magic, and her portrayal of female characters whose relationships are with failed warrior heroes….
The talk of time capsules and 1000-year M-discs in the Pixel Scroll 8/12/21 discussion of item (16), the Louis XIII Cognac 100-year sci-fi film vault, got me thinking that Worldcon should do Hugos for Best Genre-related Work Created 1000, 2000, 3000, 4000, 10,000, 20,000, 30,000 and 40,000 years ago….
… Considered to be a genius by many, not only was Hergé skilled at drawing, he was also good at fascinating his readers with mysteries, and intriguing situations. For example, why was Prof. Calculus going into the heart of a volcano, following the agitated movements of his pendulum, instead of running away, like all the others? Perhaps he was so oblivious to his real surroundings, and was so desperate to find the cause of the wild swinging of his pendulum for the sake of science, that inadvertently, he was willing to risk his very life. Or was he running away from mundane reality? And why did Tintin rush back to save his friend from going deeper in the maze of the mountain? Possibly because that was Tintin’s nature, to rescue not just the innocent people of the world, but it also showed his deep friendship with the absent-minded professor….
…After watching [John Wick: Chapter 3], my friends and I got some drinks at a nearby bar. There, I found myself repeating a single word from the movie: “Consequences.” Wick utters this word whenever one of the characters points out that his past may have finally caught up with him. Since I like to drive jokes into the ground, I began to say “Consequences” in response to everything that night, in a poor imitation of Wick’s scratchy voice. Why did we need to buy another round? “Consequences.” Why should someone else pick up the tab? “Consequences.” And maybe I should call out sick tomorrow? “Consequences.”…
Right after the Fourth of July might not be when I shop for Christmas ornaments, but somebody does, because that’s when Hallmark runs its Keepsake Ornament Premiere.
If the timing is for the convenience of retailers, there is also a certain logic in picking a spot on the calendar that is as far away as you can get from a date associated with Christmas trees. It’s plain some of these ornaments are intended for a Halloween or Thanksgiving tree, while others probably are destined never to decorate a tree at all but to remain pristine in their original wrapping on collectors’ shelves….
Continuing my reports on museums that might be of interest to Filers coming to Washington for DisCon III, I offer a report on the Museum of the Bible, which I visited recently. (I had a Groupon!)…
… I couldn’t help thinking of the passage from The Lord of the Rings, where the Crebain go searching for the Fellowship. In fact, there are many birds as spies in fantasy fiction, such as the Three-Eyed Raven, the, One-eyed Crow, or Varamyr Sixskins warging into an eagle in A Song of Ice and Fire, to mention a few….
The Best Series Hugo category was added to the WSFS Constitution in 2017 with a sunset clause requiring a future re-ratification vote to remain part of the Worldcon Constitution. That vote happens next week at the DisCon III Business Meeting. If you were there, would you vote yes or no on keeping the category?
Then down the long hall there arose so much chat, that I sprang from my chair to see what was that? Through archways, past plant pots, I slipped through the throng as the loud murmuration came strolling along.
… In reality, China is a huge country with a vast population and an expanding middle class; an enormous SF field and well established fandom. Chengdu is an established international convention site as well as a centre for science and technology.
I rather suspect that from the Chengdu bid’s viewpoint, the US-centric history of Worldcon is at odds with the very name of the event and its claim to be the leading global celebration of the genre. I do not need to believe there is anything suspicious about the bid, because it only needs a tiny percentage of Chinese fans to get behind it to make it a success….
Though Tolkien’s novels were very successful in the last century, after the Peter Jackson trilogy in the early 2000s, their reach increased to encompass the globe. Irrespective of geographical or linguistic differences, they spoke to us in different ways. In an informal Discussion Group at Oxonmoot 2021, (held online), participants were welcome to share their thoughts/reactions/ take on various aspects of Tolkien’s works, mainly his Legendarium….
… Based on reading 20% of Team File 770’s assigned books, I found there are actually 12 I’d say yes to – so I am going to need to cut two more before I finalize this list….
TRIGGER SNOWFLAKE
The saga of Sheriff Trigger Snowflake, the lovely Coraline, and the shenanigans of the Solarian Poets Society added several chapters this year that were not so much ripped-from-the-headlines as amused by the news.
A few days later, down at the Coffee Emporium, Trigger was having breakfast. A nice cup of Bean of the Day and a grilled synthecheese. As he finished the last bite of the synthecheese, Barbara Dimatis walked up to his table.
“Sheriff Snowflake, may I sit?”
“Why, sure, Ms Dimatis. What troubles you?”
“You’ve heard of Bistro Futuristo? Well, turns out that the editor and owner of Futuristo Magazine has made an announcement.”…
… Needless to say, I have witnessed or participated in a number of remarkable, bizarre and historic incidents during my tenure working at Worldcons. I not only know how the sausage was made, I helped make it as well….
So forget about what the naysayers are saying; Zack Snyder’s Justice League is a big, exciting, sprawling, violent, intense, profane, beautiful and ultimately moving film.
In addition to reviewing comics and graphic novels, James used his camera and descriptive abilities to take us along on visits to all kinds of fascinating exhibits and pop culture events.
By Ingvar: Trigger was just about done with his pre-lunch stroll through Fort Corallium, when an almost out-of-breath Barbara Dimatis came rushing towards him.
“Sheriff! Sheriff! Have you heard?”
“No, Ms Dimatis, I don’t believe I have?”
“The Bistro has re-opened!”
“Bistro Futuristo?”
“Yes!”
“Well, I hope this is after a thorough investigation of all the alleged shenanigans around the dessert stations.”
“The editor’s column in the latest issue of Futuristo Magazine has some commentary around it. I believe Coraline should have a copy.”
Trigger finished off his patrol, then walked back to the office. This was clearly something well worth checking up on.
***
> What I saw in the Bistro over the last year by James ven Sveller
>
> I have now had time to review the allegations made against Bistro
> Futuristo, both specific and general.
>
> And I can say with confidence that they are all fabricated. What I
> have seen is a vibrant community of literary people, discussing art
> and curating the buffet in a civilised fashion, ranging from arranging
> or peeling grapes to the intricacies of experimental grammar in the
> works of Snorkly ven Ziploque. I have investigated tens of
> serving-related tools from the buffet, if not all of the thousands
> used to serve, and served from, during the years that the Bistro has
> operated.
>
> Were there dishes served I would not eat? Yes, some I would not touch
> with a three-metre pole. But, such is taste.
>
> When I first shut down the Bistro, I was overwhelmed with the love
> that past and current patrons of the Bistro expressed. It is now my
> privilege to re-open Bistro Futuristo again. And to distance the
> magazine from it, I have created a company I call LiteratureSalons to
> manage the Bistro going forward.
>
> We did make some changes during the close-down. Some areas of the
> buffet that were not well-trafficked (the spiced butter section, among
> them) have been taken out, and some have been moved, to better
> facilitate the serving flow.
>
> And remember that there are rules in the Bistro. No bringing in food
> from other Bistros. No disparaging the contributors to Futuristo
> Magazine.No pan-handling for causes not previously OKed by one of the
> curators.
>
> Also, in order to ensure we don’t get any of these blatantly false
> allegations in the future, we have made the Bistro a members-only
> establishment. To enter, you must have purchased a Futuristo Magazine
> in the last Earth year. Any visitor to the Bistro in the last 12
> months has been grandparented in.
Trigger could not quite believe what he just read. Was ven Sveller completely out of touch with reality? Was the clearly documented presence of emetics in the Cleveries not enough of a “there is a problem here” signal?
***
The following week, as Trigger entered the Emporium, for a sneaky afternoon snack of coffee and a danish, he was not expecting the extra item served with his between-meals snack. A letter-of-comment, printed out, next to his coffee cup.
> More Bistro Shenanigans? Leanne Ackie
>
> You have all heard the news that Bistro Futuristo has re-opened. As
> someone whose visiting privileges was grandparented in, I recently
> paid a visit to the re-opened establishment.
>
> Like previous times, I took samples from multiple stations and had
> them sent off to a laboratory for analysis. The situation with the
> purple Cleveries is the same. Roughly one in five is covered in
> emetics (and, mind you, this will eventually, through agitation,
> dissipate onto other candies in the same bowl).
>
> For the chocolate truffles, I sampled in total seventeen, from four
> different truffle plates. Of those, a whole five were now spiked with
> emetics.
>
> Based on this, I think we can simply conclude that the Bistro
> management were fully aware of what was happening and that they are OK
> with breaches of the “no forcey” rule, if that is in furtherance of
> Sulphurian appreciation demonstration customs.
“Ms Dimatis? Am I reading this correctly? That ven Sveller closed the bistro, only to re-open it and concluding that nothing untowards ever happened?”
“Yes, Sheriff Snowflake, I think that it is the only thing we can conclude. Did you like the latest roasted beans?”
By Ingvar: Trigger arrived back at his combined Sheriff’s Office and home, after a productive day of patrolling Fort Corallium. All the citizens seemed happy, and he was looking forward to a nice, relaxing evening in the company of his beloved wife, Coraline.
He opened the door, hung the belt with his twin laser revolvers on its assigned hook and locked the door behind him.
“Coraline, I am home!”, he shouted, then proceeded to climb the stairs from the office space to his domicile. Once unencumbered by his street clothes, Trigger leaned back in his comfy chair and relaxed.
Not even fifteen minutes later, his reveries were disturbed by Coraline’s agitated voice.
“Trigger! Trigger! You won’t believe it!”
“Hmm?”
“You know Futuristo Magazine? There’s just been an article published about one of their side businesses!”
“From the sound of it, nothing good?”
“No, I am wondering what they’re going to do about it?”
“About what, beloved?”
“So, Futuristo Magazine have this, well, salon. It is called Bistro Futuristo. And apparently, Sulphurists have been putting emetics in the buffet. And until just recently, it had just never been spoken about. I mean, imagine it, you go to a poetry and literature salon, and the next thing you know, you’re spilling your figurative guts over everything.”
“I’m sure we will see a sensible response from the editors and owners of Futuristo.”
“I so hope that is true, Trigger.”
# # #
A few days later, down at the Coffee Emporium, Trigger was having breakfast. A nice cup of Bean of the Day and a grilled synthecheese. As he finished the last bite of the synthecheese, Barbara Dimatis walked up to his table.
“Sheriff Snowflake, may I sit?”
“Why, sure, Ms Dimatis. What troubles you?”
“You’ve heard of Bistro Futuristo? Well, turns out that the editor and owner of Futuristo Magazine has made an announcement.”
“From what my beloved Coraline said, I hope it was a sensible and well-reasoned announcement?”
“Not so much. Actually, it may be easier if you just read it yourself.”
> It has been brought to our attention by some helpful folks, that emetics that not everyone want to ingest have been present in Bistro Futuristo. In order to fully investigate these serious allegations, and the Bistro’s ‘no forcey’ rules, we will be closing the Bistro from Wednesday at noon, and all patrons will have to take their lawful acts of appreciation elsewhere.
“Now that,” said Trigger, “is not the response I would have expected.”
“Well, ven Sveller, the owner and editor of Futuristo Magazine, have shown Sulphur sentiments in the past, but, the way I read this is that there’s basically no way he didn’t know.”
# # #
A long and tiring day of patrolling the neighborhood later, Trigger arrived home.
“Trigger, darling, have you heard?”
“The ven Sveller apolonot? Yes, Ms Dimatis showed me at the Emporium this morning.”
“No. Well, related, but not that. Here, read this!”
An outrage of cancel culture run amok! by Whalie Correadore
As a poet and contributor to Futuristo Magazine, it has been my custom to visit the Bistro, to bask in the presence and splendour that is the collective intelligence and with of the Bistrovians, as we jokingly call ourselves.
I have been an active Bistrovian for 23 years, and I have never had a problem of being slipped emetics. But, I normally stick to the coffee and the Danishes. I mean, people who go for the candy get what they deserve, right?”
Trigger blinked. Was this the beginning of a brewing storm?
None of the sections I curated and collected recipes for ever had a problem. Therefore, this report of inserted emetics is pure hogwash, constructed by the rabidly anti-Sulphur literati. Not, mind you, that I am a Sulphurian myself, but I know several of them.
Trigger shook his head. This was obviously not heading anywhere good.
“Oh, darling, here’s another LoC that you should read.”
Cancelists by Carl Sparkrock
I have been a Futuristo contributor for 30 years. I am probably the most anti-Sulphur Futuristo contributor there is. And I condemn everyone for these false emetics allegations. Why, I used to be a regular in the Bistro, and there was never anything like that going on then.
Sure, I have been on a different planet for 15 years, but I am sure that nothing would ever change in the Bistro, as it is so lovingly curated and managed by not only James, but by several community curators. They ensure that fresh fare is brought forth and every bowl, carafe and pump thermos is kept in good order.
They’re a good bunch, the Bistrovians, I am sure they would never do anything like that.
Trigger simply shook his head. This whole story was becoming more and more unbelievable, for every single report that came out of the Bistrovian camp.
# # #
Later that evening, Trigger found further letters of comment, touching on the matter of the Bistro Futuristo.
My thoughts, by Anna min Scotch
There have been overblown reports of emetics all over everything in the Bistro. As a regular Bistrovian, I can say that this is blatantly false. I have a strict “no emetics” policy for the salad bar. Over in the dessert section, I guess there’s some emetics in among the Cleveries. It’s a known thing and it’s not as if everyone doesn’t already know to stay away from the candy section in general and the Cleveries in particular.
No, this is clearly overblown and there is no emetics problem at the Bistro. I am outraged that James has been forced by these anti-Sulphurians to need to shut the Bistro down. It is a valuable resource for us who publish with and contribute to Futuristo Magazine. They should be ashamed for closing the Bistro down.
This Bistro Futuristo thing. Leanne Ackie
I have occasionally visited Bistro Futuristo. Mostly, I would say, it is a nice, clean, and food-safe environment. But, there are sections that are definitely not.
I am not going to name names, because I do not know them. But, having taken samples from various parts of the Bistro’s buffet of comestibles, I can definitely say that in my sample, one out of roughly every five purple Cleveries candy was absolutely coated in emetics. I also found a single chocolate truffle that had emetics on the inside.
Based on this, I think these self-congratulating reports about “no problem at all” are interesting and show, possibly, a tendency to defend the Bistro while either intentionally obscuring what they know (or should know) or (as some did) simply not knowing, on account of not having visited the Bistro for well over a decade.
Make of this what you want. There was a problem, and either James ven Sveller knew and let it continue. Or, probably worse, ven Sveller didn’t know what was being done in the name of his magazine. Either way, a temporary close-down to ensure that there are no stray emetics, as well as making a strong statement that it is not acceptable going forward, is necessary.
# # #
The next morning, Trigger woke up to Coraline pacing in the bedroom.
“Beloved, what is the matter?”
“Well, it seems that there have been threats against the person who first reported the Bistro Futuristo problem.”
“But? What? Why? That makes no sense. At best, it accomplishes nothing, at worst it puts the Bistrovians in an extremely bad light?”
“Honestly, dear Trigger, I don’t understand it and I am not sure I want to.”
“Threats for what reason?”
“Apparently for not having engaged with ven Sveller before publishing the report. Or possibly for having brought it to light. Something like that.”
“Metaphorically putting my Sheriff’s Hat on, I don’t see why that would have been necessary. We can safely assume that ven Sveller has been aware of what’s going on. I mean, it’s not as if the other Bistrovians weren’t aware, they just chose to declare it ‘not a problem’. And as the proprietor, ven Sveller is fundamentally responsible for the quality of food served in his establishment, even if he has volunteer curators assisting with quality assurance. Also note that, if I understand correctly, the person dosing the Cleveries with emetics was a volunteer curator, pointing towards failures in judgment by ven Sveller. Now, I will go to the kitchen and make us a nice, nostalgic, breakfast of beans on toast.”
